the show: 08-04-06

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Transcript

Good Morning Sports Racers, it's Friday, August 4th. It's IN CASE YOU MISSED IT day.

1) The ORG releases another snack while in the background it works on an infrastructure for something that neither you nor I can possibly imagine. Sports Racers from around the country and around the globe will soon be able to meet to show off their power moves... and other stuff.

2) People seem to be remembering the Sugartits theme song in a variety of different ways.

[Many versions of theme song by various Sports Racers play.]

How do you remember the Sugartits theme song goin'? If you remember, upload it to the gallery.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT 3) Things aren't going quite as we planned in Iraq. Due to rising sectarian violence in Bagdhad, American troops will be re-deployed there from Ramadi, where they were re-deployed from Fallujah, where they were re-deployed from Bagdhad. Senator John McCain called this strategy playing "Whac-A-Mole." [1] "Whac-a-Mole" is a game where you take a stick and you hit little mole puppets with it while people shoot at you and the country around you collapses into civil war.

As a child, Donald Rumsfeld was too short to play "Whac-a-Mole" and reportedly was kicked out of a Chuck E. Cheese when he climbed up onto one of the machines and started urinating on it.

Insurgents appear to be playing along vowing on Thursday to take back Fallujah so that troops can be re-deployed there after they're done in Bagdhad. The increase in violence has dampened hopes that U.S. Troops would begin returning home later this year. After watching some kids play in the ocean to make sure that it was safe, Hillary Clinton bravely stood up and called for Donald Rumsfeld's resignation. Meanwhile, gamers are willing to sacrifice their X-Box so this guy can play war games in his boxers rather than sacrificing our troops lives. "Oh No You Di'nt!"

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT #4) The minimum wage bill hit some snags. A bill designed to raise the minimum wage from 5.15 to 7.25 now has some additional baggage tacked on to it. The baggage in question calls for a reduction in what's referred to as the estate tax. The controversial estate tax takes money from really rich people when they pass it down to their children and has made it harder for prep school kids everywhere to afford to buy weed for their dorms.

The debate over the rights of the government to rich people's money might not matter because it turns out that they're not paying taxes anyway. According to the New York Times, a Senate report states that so many super-rich Americans evade taxes that law enforcement cannot control the growing misconduct. Included in the report were Charles and Sam Wiley, the 9th largest contributers to President Bush. How do you make up for all this lost revenue from millionaire tax cheats? The wiley Bush administration has a plan: Fire the people that would normally be prosecuting them, then you don't have to pay their salary! Get it? The administration is moving to eliminate the jobs of nearly half the lawywers at the I.R.S. who audit tax returns for some of the wealthiest Americans, specifically the ones who were subject to the estate tax. See? It all works out! Lobbyists have re-named the estate tax the 'death tax', while I've re-named my taxes as 'dumb schmuck who follows the rules' tax.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT #5) Dirty Space News The New Scientist says that researchers are studying an odd massive bulge on the moon. The Moon's got a woodie. The moon's bulge may be explained by another New Scientist article that reads "Red Giant swallows Brown Dwarf, but doesn't digest it." That's Nasty. The Moon's watchin'. This is Ze Frank thinking so you don't have to. Enjoy your weekend and President Bush, enjoy your 10 day vacation. 's good timing.

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