the show: 10-10-06

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  • ZAN is Ze as Narrator
  • [shot descriptions here]

[strange neon logo that looks like a sports racer logo (but isn't)]

ZAN (hums): Hmm Hm Hmmm Hm Hm HMMM (to the sports racer theme)

ZAN: Huh, hum it to yourself.

[Ze watches as the camera moves away on an airport baggage carrosel]

ZAN: Oh its a travel day. That's probably why he didn't post yesterday. He travels a lot, I wonder why. I wonder where he is right now? He'll say it. He'll say:

[head shot of Ze, probably in a hotel (note curtains in background]

Ze: Good afternoon sports racers,

ZAN (speaks over Ze): and then he'll probably mention where he is.
Ze (spoken over): I'm in the small industrial town of LA

  • transcriber note: as best I can tell...Maybe he's being ironic or intentionally obtuse?
  • transcriber note 2: I can confirm it's Los Angeles based on the signs in the airport from the baggage claim shot. Pilot 21:40, 10 October 2006 (PDT)

[head shot of Ze, forehead to above upper lip, full frame]

ZAN: Well that was weird. What the hell's he doing. Man his pupils are so fucked up. I wonder if anyone's ever told him that? Huh, new viewers are going to be so freaked out.
Ze (spoken over, and lips not visible):

  • transcriber note: good luck figuring this one out.


ZAN: Am I freaked out?

[TTY sign from most airports]

ZAN: Nice, I like it when he does signs. What's he going to say about this one? It kind of looks like a face, with freckles on it, or pimples maybe. But I bet he'd say zits.

[Crosswalk sign with button]

ZAN: What's this one mean? Maybe its something dirty. Can't tell.

[Ze stands behind a double parking meter]

ZAN: heh, huhuh. It looks like he has boobs. He's so gay. I wonder if he's fun to hang out with? He's probably a dick.

[Shoulder/head shot of Ze in front of curtains again]

ZAN (speaking over Ze): Why's he smiling? Why am I smiling?
Ze (spoken over): Why's he smiling? Why am I smiling?

  • transcriber note: note the change in audio tone here

Ze: Are these supposed to be my thoughts?

[Cut-zoom to tighter head shot]

Ze: Oh I get it: "Thinking so you don't have to."

ZAN (speaks over ZE): That's the joke right? Or am I missing something?
Ze (spoken over): It's why you're not always picking ??? about France

  • transcriber note: not sure here, he's smiling while speaking which is making it hard for me to lip read

[Ze, frame right, leaning against wall with picture of Barbara Stanwyck]

ZAN (speaks over ZE): It's not really that funny. Maybe it's smart. I can't tell if it's stupid or smart.
Ze (spoken over): What would you do? What would you say if you could talk?

  • transcriber note: as best I can tell. The first sentence may be off

Ze: I bet you're dead.

[Ze in plane donning light mask and wearing ear plugs in his nose]

ZAN: It'd be weird if there was a camera pointed at me right now, like...if this was a show about me watching the show.

[Sock puppet on plane]

ZAN: That's fucked up. Makes me really aware of what I'm doing...

[Hitler-esque picture of Kim Jong Il]

ZAN: ...with my face right now.

ZAN: Oh right, the news. I can't believe he's not going to talk about it. There's gotta be something funny about a nuclear bomb. Oh that sounded weird.

[Ze miming a nuclear explosion, with (mimed) sound effects]

ZAN: This show's just fucked up. I'm not sure I even like it. What's it supposed to be? like, artsy?

[head shot of Ze, Chin to Eyes, full frame]

ZAN: He gets so many zits. He'll never get famous pulling crap like this. He should stick to what he does best. Maybe I should too?
Ze (spoken over): Tomorrow...Tomorrow I'll let you know what ??? ???? ??? you ??? ?goodbye?. Tomorrow I'll let you know ?when to? say goodbye.

  • transcriber note: I'd like another opinion here. I definitely think the last words are goodbye in both sentences. Plus he seems hesitant and resigned...
  • a different transcriber's note: To me it seemes like he was saying, "Tomorrow... Tomorrow (something, something, something). Tomorrow, I'll listen to what's on your minds."

[Ze head shot, looking very tired]

ZAN: Anyone could do this crap, just point a camera at your face. Maybe I should start a video blog. What's he trying to do here, tell me he's tired? That's not really an excuse.

[Sign: Green arrow, "Left Turn OK", slow zoom in]

ZAN: "Left Turn OK." What is this, some kind of a point? We're almost at the end, must be the point. What is this, like, breaking the fourth wall? er...No, its more like a fifth wall. Ah screw it, I gotta get some lunch.


ZAN: I wonder what the message board people think about this.

  • transcriber: Speed8ump 19:25, 10 October 2006 (PDT)

The transcript for this episode is incomplete. Please contribute and help us finish it!

  • needs better lip readers
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