the show: 10-11-06

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Transcript

Guy infront of a big clock (heavy brogue accent): Hi sports racers, thas big ben, and this is the show, with Ze Frank.

Ze: Hi big ben! What's that clock behind you?

Ze: horck?!

(Screenshot of a forum comment) Ze (Voice Over): Garben writes, I think Ze is trying to tell us that he may be done.

Ze: Don't worry little duckie, we still got a few months to learn how to fly!

(Close Up, Ze looking tired and depressed on an airplane) Ze (VO) : Yesterday was another travel day! That's two times the awesome!

(Back of an airplane seat that has "Fasten Seatbelt While Seated" on it) Ze (VO): I guess some morons tried to do this standing up.

(Airplane Toilet Seat) Ze (VO): Hmm...but where does the pee pee go?

(A sign with a little man running from color) Ze (VO): I'm not sure, but I think this little man is afraid of color!

(Water conservation sign in a hotel) Ze (VO): At my hotel some of the staff don't speak english so well. Luckly, there's other ways to communicate. For example, a towel on the floor means please replace!

(Wide Shot, Ze throws a towel on the ground near a lamp and points at it) Ze (VO): One of the lights in my room doesn't work, so I'm practicing for when the staff gets here.

Ze (on a balcony): Where the hell am I? (turns camera towards the center of a huge lobby)

Ze (song): I must admit (admit) (Ze jumps throught a doorway) I'm in a bit (a bit) (Ze is lying on a table) I'm in a bit of a boring place right now! (whatcha gonna do in a boring place like that huh?) (Ze is sitting uncomfortably on a couch)

(Ze gets off the table)

Ze: Sometimes when I'm in a really boring place (yelling) LIKE THIS! I like to play worst ever!

Ze: You don't know how to play worst ever? Here's how!

(Parking meter) Ze (VO): Worst video game. Ever.

Ze: See? Now lets play!

(Outside the Peninsula Table Tennis Club) Ze (VO): Worst first date. Ever.

(Some sort of fruit in a palm tree) Ze (VO): Worst sex toy. Ever.

(Clothing donation box) Ze (VO): Worst store front. Ever.

(Top of a water meter) Ze (VO): Worst time to have forgotten your straw. Ever.

(A button that says Up and Down on it) Ze (VO): Worst sex advice. Ever.

(Roadside transformer) Ze (VO): Worst place to hide. Ever.

(Patch of grass in a parking lot) Ze (VO): Worst golf course. Ever.

(Condiments bar) Ze (VO): Worst Salad Bar. Ever.

(A strip of spikes that your not supposed to back up over) Ze (VO): Worst venue for summersaulting competition. Ever.

(Drainage ditch) Ze (VO): Worst rafting trip. Ever.

(Stop sign) Ze (VO): Worst misspelling of the word "go". Ever.

(Sign that says, "Please wait here for next available receptionist") Ze (VO): Worst potential misunderstanding for a lonely guy attending a dating convention. Ever.

(Sign advertising "Panda mongolian BBQ") Ze (VO): Worst use of an endangered species. Ever.

(Some sort of metal roadside pylon) Ze (VO): Worst condom for a giant robot. Ever.

(Lion fountain, water coming out its mouth) Ze (VO): Worst way to urniate. Ever.

(Black) Ze (VO): Worst way to order room service. (Ze standing in bathtub shouting at the shower nozzle) Ze: I'd like a hamburger...hello? Ze (VO): Ever

(Picture of Mark Foley) Ze (VO): Worst baby sitter. Ever.

(Ze standing in the middle of an intersection) Ze (VO): Worst place for a spontanous orgasam.

Ze: Ever!

Ze: If you have any worst evers, upload them to the gallery with a caption!

Ze (distraught): AAahhgghaha

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