the show: 10-18-06

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Transcript

(viewer): Good morning, Sports Racers. You're watching "The Show" with ZeFrank. I'm flying a Skyhawk at 9,500 feet. I'm pretty sure my day beats yours.


Ze: "Your day beat mine? I doubt it. *looks down* Look at all the duckies and jewels!


Microducky sponsorship will forever change the face of advertising. Imagine if Howard Dean had had duckies!


Thanks for being a part of the inaugural kick-off day. Your messages will be enshrined forever. Now, go find them!


Remember (giggles) remember, if you give me some candy, it'll show up underneath the next posted show.


It's the little things that count, like today when I left my apartment I saw somebody say "shit", then turn. Honest!


And, y'know what else? Ever since I was little, I carry my money all crumpled up in my pocket. And, like 6 years ago, I handed a crumpled bill to the guy on the subway to buy a token, and he said, "You unfold it. That's not my job!" And that scared me. So, I unfolded it, but the rest of the day I was thinking things I coulda said, like, "It is so your job...oh, yeah? You think THAT'S folded? THIS is folded...Okay, let's try that again, but this time, you shut your mouth."

But, so today in the deli I was nervously unfolding a bill 'cause I was like, "Oh, shit, he's gonna yell at me, too" and he says, "Don't worry. That's my job." But, I was like "Fuck that! This is a trap!" So, I kept on unfolding it. And, he says, "Thank you. I feel your heart." That made me feel good.

Little things.


Speaking of small things, the New Scientist finds that the horniest male beetles have the tiniest testicles.


(grinning) The new scientist is awesome!


Flashy mating advantages like the dung beetle's giant horn comes at a price; little nuts.


  • close-up* Ladies, don't diss the guy driving the Kia. He might have a little something extra in the trunk.


Oh, and if ya find a beetle with really big nuts, that's a story I'd like to read, too.


Speakin' of a lot of nuts, the estimated U.S. population hit 300 million yesterday. Births outnumber deaths with a potential Sports Racer baby born every 7 seconds.


Meanwhile, researchers have found that there are slightly more TV sets than people in the average U.S. household. The administration is said to be considering a change in stance on premarital sex in order to keep pace on the "One Child per T.V. Initiative."


  • close-up, whispering* Remember: the Kia.


The New York Times says that over a hundred accidental ingestions have occurred because of a household cleaning product that researchers say, "looks like a soft drink." When asked whether the product was part of a Hard Charger conspiracy, the manufacturers of the "Fabuloso" brand said, "No. It's just how God weeds out the idiots."


According to the L.A. Times, a commission backed by Bush has agreed that "stay the course" is not working. After muttering something about the '60s and "I can't believe we lost it", James Baker III, the head of the commission said, "There's no magic bullet for the situation in Iraq." The commission is said to be focused on two alternatives; one called "stability first"

(*close-up* That's the one where ya ask Iran and Syria to help end the fighting and ya try to entice insurgents into politics.)

and another called "redeploy and contain".

(*close-up* That's where ya gradually withdraw American troops to bases outside of Iraq so that they can respond to other threats.)

President Bush recently said, "My attitude is 'don't do what you're doing if it's not working. Change.'" The release of this report promises to test that attitude.


Today's another travel day. This is ZeFrank thinking so you don't have to."




This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Beth:Amor ordinem nescit. Amor est vitae essentia.

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    I hope this gets you all the Milk Duds you desire!

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Miguel Del Norte says 'IMPEACH BUSH NOW'

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    This is what $50 bucks looks like.

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    I want to sponsor this shit. - user

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Who likes feeding duckies?

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Ze, Alex writing from Caracas. I Love the show.

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    If you got this far without giving, you're a taker

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Thanks for the show!

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Dugg Loves Bridget!

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    The Show is citizen media at it's finest!

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Who likes the little little Ze on the net? We do!

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Get up off your ass on Nov. 7 and VOTE FOR CHANGE!

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    quack

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    The Netstomper.Com Pig Loves Ze Frank's Duckie

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    duckie, since you're worth more than cable - Eliot

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Please use $7 to buy yourself a beer. -FuzzySponch

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Saskatoon, Saskatchewan: Home of Big Duckies

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Many happy returns of the day, Raygrid.

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Happy to do my part even if I'm not funny.

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    ZeFrank is my hero! --DelugeIA

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Chicka quack quack.

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Thanks

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Ada, Ohio loves Ze Frank!!!

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    This Duckie brought to you by www.latenitemash.com

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Lucky us! Just found out have credit on this card

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    The duckie ponders strange matters.

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    MolecularMedia.com bought Candy for ZeFrank!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-4.gif    BushLess in 2008

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    gokey's wine market 1429 main street green bay, wi

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Happy Halloween! You make every day better. - Mali

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Thanks for Cheering me up everyday.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Lucky says: Come to Sexxxy Halloween, Atlanta!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    Ah, the price of entertainment... Love the show!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    All Hail Poor Mojo's Giant Squid!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    Hook Em

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    It's pay Ze day.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    You should have done this months ago.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-8.gif    creativity doesn't have any don'ts.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    This is great. Its like pledging to NPR!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    zefrank's like a duckie with legs who's human!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Thanks, Ze

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-1.gif    google has my credit card number.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Keep on rockin', Ze. And thank you.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-1.gif    Thanks for not giving us the Stage 10, Ze!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    I have nothing interesting to say..oh well

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    We love you Ze! -Gnomar & Friends @ www.gnomar.com

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    nathaniel says, 'isn't it 'trick or treat'?'

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-8.gif    Thanks.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-7.gif    A beer for Ze, from the blogger at shelbinator.com

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Ze makes coming to work worthwhile!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-4.gif    north is not up and east is not right

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Ze for president, 2012.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-6.gif    Nick and Ari are your sugar boys from Philly!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-4.gif    Crazy Monkey is my favorite Sports Racer!- Love PP

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    Ze, thank you for making me happy. Yea Ze!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    ZeFrank: Cheaper than NPR, but a whole lot funnier

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    I like the little little duckies. And you too, Ze.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Hey travis, red hair is not in style this year.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    moo

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    yes yes yes, the good times and the happiness

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    who likes the little little duckies in the pond?

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Come here lil boy, want some candy? x0x0x from YVR

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Ze Rocks!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    thanks for the show

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-8.gif    Thank you for letting me donate!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-2.gif    Something

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-2.gif    Ogoglio.com: 3D in your pants....I mean browser.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Penguin <3. Get well soon.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    ModestNeeds.org needs your Candy more than Ze does

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-7.gif    some candy, from riko.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-8.gif    Little elevators are much too small for Matt.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    I like you the best, Ze.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-1.gif    I am a red jewel! I convey urgency!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-8.gif    i am a grey jewel. i am a sad, lonely gem.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    i am a green jewel! no, wait! i'm green! or teal.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-4.gif    i am a magenta jewel! i am fun at parties!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-7.gif    i am a green jewel. teal jewels envy me.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-2.gif    i am a blue jewel. but not that kind of blue.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-6.gif    i am a magenta jewel. the other magenta is a fake.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    I love VORE

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Duckie candy's the best snack yet. -adriene

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Goddamn, NPR, United Way & now Ze is in on it too.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    W0lver saying chicka-quack quack

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Is this donation tax deductible? -- Scoop

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    I don't know what to write, just wanted to send$10

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Greyhounds are the best pets! zeisz.com

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    hi ze. you rule. -steph

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-4.gif    Support what you love or it will go away.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    There is an exception to every rule.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-4.gif    For making me laugh when I was crying.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-7.gif    just another sports racer

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-1.gif    jen lemen paying so you don't have to

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Thanks Ze

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Sweet as pie.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    I love the little, little duckies in the pond!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    the monster children will inherit the earth.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    worst custom message, ever - tom

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Little ducky. Big quack.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    The Financial Aid Podcast Loves The Show

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    I like the little duckies...a chicka quack quack

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Keep thinking - I'm no good at it. Thanks!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Free MyWikiBiz from Wikipedia's Jimmy Wales ! ! !

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    I love you too.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    You got me through four months of unemployment

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    bring back patronage! ze needs to eat!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    awsome show!!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-7.gif    Here's to keeping you from selling out.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-1.gif    Props & love from your fans @ Whitworth College!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    Max, great to haveyouhaveyou back, buddy.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-2.gif    Go do that voodoo that you do so well.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Your crazy answer for the lazy cancer of apathy

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-6.gif    Time Management for SysAdmins: Buy + live better!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Just another fabuloso 'out there doing his share'

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    This little ducky goes to market...

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Keep on rockin Ze! from Perimere :)

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Now use this pork to build bridges to the duckies!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Rock on, Ze!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Dezza you smell of cheese!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    for all your john cage birthday presents

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    And now a rhyme: Yay for Ze! Hey makes my day OK.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-5.gif    Binga binga binga!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Ze deserves Candy; I deserve little duckie.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    That was fun, but I'm still horny. Love, Saige

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    Hey Ze, how about an 'asshole baby' onesie?


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