the show: 10-27-06

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Transcript

Good morning sportsracers from Stewart, Virginia

It's October 27th, 2006.

Knowledge has just made a giant [poop] sandwich and it's no-meat Friday.

Dang it's almost like you're better than me doing that intro you keep that there up I'm gonna have to get a new job maybe down at Jiffy Lube.

It's a travel day today, Sports Racers, and I'm about to get my ass kicked out of this hotel despite the fact that I just argued for one half hour to get my checkout time extended by one half hour.

You don't know who i am? I'll give you a hint *asshole!*. No, no, no, not you.

Fine but I'm taking the fancy soaps.

And the shoe mitten.

Grab your na-nas, it's Ride The Fire Eagle Danger Day.

Australia's senior Muslim cleric is under fire for saying that women who don't wear headscarves invite rape.

At a recent sermon he said, "If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street or in the garden or in the park or in the backyard without a cover and the cats come and eat it who's fault is it: the cats or the uncovered meat? The uncovered meat is the problem."

Hm It sounds like your neighborhood has a cat problem.

In my neighborhood the ASPCA goes out and neuters wild cats to keep the population under control.

As for the uncovered meat, if it turns out that it's carrying a steak knife and some pepper spray and messes that cat up, I'll assume you'll grant me that that's the cat's fault, hm?

Ladies, with crap like that being said in a place of worship, it might be time to take that self-defense course. They offer them cheap at the Y.

Do it.

Exxon Mobil posted a 10.49 billion dollar profit last quarter, the second largest in history by an American company. The largest quarterly profit was also posted by Exxon Mobil.

Way to go free market, hitting us where it hurts.

If you're worrying about what's happening in Iraq, don't, it's all under control.

On Tuesday, General Casey told reporters that troop increases were a possibility in Baghdad. On Wednesday he issued a clarification saying, quote, "There is no intent to bring more US troops into Iraq at this time."

On Tuesday, the Bush Administration said that US and Iraqi leaders had agreed to craft guidelines and timetables towards progess in Iraq. On Wednesday the Iraqi prime minister disavowed those comments saying the benchmarks merely reflected campaign season pressures in the US.

See, it's under control.

Yesterday, the President defended the war once again saying, "If we leave they will follow us here." Of course, if we stay they don't have as far to travel.

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, seen here making the worst peace sign ever, got pissy with reporters yesterday, saying, "You oughta just back off, take a look at it, relax and understand that it's complicated. It's difficult. We're looking into the future. No one can predict the future with absolute certainty."

Having been pretty good at predicting too-close-to-call elections before, President Bush predicted that the Republicans would remain in control of both the House and the Senate.

How sure is he?

In a recent press conference, White House spokesman Tony Fratto was asked about reports that the President refuses to engage in any strategic planning to deal with the possibility of a Democratic takeover.

Mr. Fratto replied, "I think the President has been very clear that's he's preparing for a Congress that has Republican leadership and that's the way we'll continue to proceed, it's the only way to proceed."

Asked why the President wouldn't consider planning for both alternatives, Fratto said, "We're still in the game and if you're in the game, you're in it to win."

The reporter, obviously an undercover Sports Racer, responded by saying, "Government isn't a game, and you are governing, and so your responsibility is to prepare for how to govern, regardless of how it turns out, so it may be a game in the political sense, but it's really not a game to Americans who want their government to be ready to do what needs to be done."

Smack!

Mr. Fratto replied, "He'll be ready."

See? It's under control.

Have a great weekend Sports Racers, and remember, those pumpkins aren't going to carve themselves.



This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy

Image:theshow-sponsor-4-0.gif    insourced.com - jobs for sportsracers since...now.

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Don't sweat the numbers. Sorry for your loss.

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Malibu for Ze

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    qwerty

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-1.gif    Red jewels are engorged with blood. Is that gross?

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-6.gif    How many jewels must we buy to keep you from quit?

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Little duckie, I choose you! (Ze, the show rocks!)

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-4.gif    wish i had more, got the tax man up my a**

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-2.gif    e pluribus unum

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-5.gif    If this jewel's flashing, you won a free iPod!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    In the absence of sane metrics, you know...

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    I likes me some intellectualism. (Thanks, Ze!)

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Worse videoblog about sented candles ever. (Thx!)

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    mwah!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-2.gif    JasonBlogs.com loves the show

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    genius

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    One hip happy PayPalin' Canuckian... xo from T.O.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-2.gif    Ze Rulez teh Interwebz!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Supporting Atheo-Anarchist Stingrays (s.y.d.h.t.)

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Quack quack quack meow - infinitecat.com

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Albino straight <3's Ze.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-4.gif    shannou (toilet paper queen) still a big fan


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