the show: 10-30-06

From zefrank

Transcript

Intro Dr. Frank-N-Furter Look-Alike: Good morning Sportsracers, you're watching the show with Ze Frank.

Ze: Uhhhh. (blurble)

2nd Intro: From the Sportsracer stronghold of Seattle Washington you're watching the show with Ze Frank.

Ze: Woah! That was weird.

Breakdancing
makes your garbage levitate
levitate your garbage with
breakdancing

Yesterday was a travel day and for once everything went perfectly!

No it didn't, you were delayed two hours because of high winds.

I know. Being delayed is bad enough but then you find out it's because the flying part is dangerous.

It’s like a double whammy.

Just once I’d like to hear that a flight was delayed because of something good.

Ze voiceover: Ladies and gentlemen we regret to inform you Flight 296 will be experiencing delays. Apparently passengers coming in from London refused to deplane because they were having too much fun and your pilot got an award.

Ze: Tomorrow is Halloween the day when our young ones practice for their Congressional careers.

There’s blackmail.

Trick or treat, your call.

Yeah try putting an apple in my bag, ya hippy. Ya see what I’m talking about.

I dare ya.

I dare ya.

Oops

Dare ya.

doot doot doot doot doot

oh f*ck

There’s complex negotiation.

Listen this is my last offer. I’ll give you two Dum-Dums, three packs of Smarties, and I'll throw in all my A&W root beer barrels in exchange for your single full-size Snickers. I mean, I can get a Snickers bar at the supermarket. Dum-Dums are once a year, at this point I’m sacrificing. I wouldn't rip you off, you're my little sister.

There's taxation.

Hey sweeties, back from trick-or-treat-ing? You know the drill, hand over the Almond Joys.

But I worked for them Dad.

Yeah? Well consider it a down payment on your diaper debt, Junior. And 'cause you mouthed off I'm taking your Mounds too. Screw it! Anything with coconut.

And strategizing to benefit your constituency.

Alright here's the deal, rumor has it that Mrs. Walker is giving out fun-sized Kit-Kats again this year, so bring a second mask and we’ll walk around the block so we can hit her twice. And listen, if the Davy's are stupid enough to leave out their whole candy bowl unattended again this year, it’s not first come first serve.That means you, Bobo twins. I brought an extra bag; we’ll dump it all in there and divide it up when we get home.

Stupid Bobo twins.

Remember today's the last day to submit your pumpkin to the Sportsracer Carve A Pumpkin, Bitch pumpkin carving jamboree.

Remember ideally part of your body should be inside the pumpkin. Or visa versa.

Not to brag but I just got my cooler-than-you black-on-black duckie tee-shirt. If you don’t have one, you should probably never go outside.

Again.