the show: 11-01-06

From zefrank

Transcript

Good morning, Sports Racers, from San Cosme in the Yucatan Peninsula. This is the show with Ze Frank. (rooster crows in the background)

Wow! How much'd you pay that rooster? My rooster never crows on command, and every time I (rooster crow interrupts)... I said after!

Stupid chicken.

Yeah I'm pissed off. I've got so much Novocaine in my face that I can't feel my earlobes.

So I go to the dentist and I'm listening to that crappy music that you only hear at the dentist. But what really freaks me out is that I catch myself groovin' to it.

So then I'm sitting in the dentist chair minding my own business, not really I'm playing will all the little toys, whatda you do? Mmmmmmhh, frothy mint juice.

Anyways, I'm taking pictures and the dentist comes in and he asked me what I'm doin'. And I'm like, "I'm takin' pictures." "Why?" "Because I have this little show that I do, for my friends."

And he's like, "What's your name? Somebody told me about something on the Internet."

Someone narced me out for the last show I did at the dentist!

So I'm like, crap!, because I don't remember what I said and he's about to stick the worst lollipops ever into my mouth.

Hey, narc, to be clear I like my dentist, I just don't like going to the dentist.

Personally, I think they should put dentists' offices on planes so I can get two things I'm afraid of over with at the same time. Anyways, he asked me to turn my camera off, so I couldn't take pictures.

This is pretty close to what I looked like.

Mmmmh, the feelin's comin' back.

John Kerry is in the hot seat at the moment after he (rooster crow interrupts) oh christ.

Stupid chicken!

During a speech in Pasadena where John Kerry was allegedly trying to support Democrats, he told an audience of students, "Education: if you make the most of it—you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart—you can do well. And if you don't you get stuck in Iraq." OOoohhh. The GOP immediately chastised Kerry saying the comments were a slap in the face to the US troops in Iraq.

Kerry then apologized for what he said was a botched joke aimed at the president.

You botched a joke about Bush? How could you screw that up? There wasn't that much material to choose from?

That's like shooting at a wounded elephant, with a bullet the size of a wounded elephant, and missing.

Who is writing your material?

So guys I think I got one about Dick Cheney, ready? Dick Cheney walks into a bar, all women are stupid. What do you think?

You were talking about education and Bush, it's a home run. I mean, you were almost there.

If you study hard, do your homework and make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If not, well, you can become president.

People woulda laughed just because you didn't say something boring.

Kerry, seen here telling a paraplegic joke, has since canceled campaign appearances with Democratic congressional candidates.

Ya think!?

Eeehhhhhhaaallll.

(rooster crows)

Stupid chicken.

Comments

• Ze also mentioned his dentist on 09-20-06.