the show: 11-02-06

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Intro: Good morning, Sports Racers, I'm at 238th St. Which means I'm coming for you, Ze.

Ze: Ewww. That's nasty.

Optimus Concinnous writes, "Ze, Election Day is only a week away. How about spending a few episodes talking about some of the issues or races we're facing as a nation."

Issues? Like macaca?

Or do you mean issues like, what to do with that war were having? Or that imminent housing recession? Whether or not states should decide if a woman can have an abortion? The regulation or deregulation of the limping energy grid? How to decorate that fence that’s going to keep the immigrants out? The privatization of education? The line between civil liberties and national security? The role of government helping you when you’re sick? What to do about paying off all those old people? Oil dependency? Global warming? Taxes? The deficit?

There’s so many issues it makes me want to throw up, but the question is, "How do you like your smoothie?"

You know that fancy blender that you have packed away because you don't have enough counter-top space? It's nice to have around, but it's a pain in the ass to clean. But once in a long while, say every two years, we bust it out to make a batch of fruit smoothies.

Now, in our neck of the woods, we have a little bit of a limited availability of fruit. There's mainly just strawberries and blueberries.

(Picture of Ralph Nader) Once in a while, you might come across a banana...

(Picture of H. Ross Perot) ...or some kind of a nut...

...but realistically, we're talking about a two-fruit smoothie.

The proportion of fruits used is either gonna make it taste more like strawberries or blueberries. You can try to balance it perfectly, but it'll always lean in one direction.

(Picture of Dick Cheney) In the event of a tie in the Senate, the Vice President casts the deciding vote. Speaking to a crowd earlier this month, Cheney said, "The thing that I've noticed is that every time I get to vote, our side wins."

Cheney, as you know, is a big fat strawberry man. Now, we've been drinking a strawberry-flavored smoothie for quite some time. You have to decide whether you like that aftertaste, or whether you'd like to try blueberry for a little while. Now when you go to pick your fruit, there's a few things to keep in mind.

(Picture of Bob Ney) Steer clear of the rotten ones...

(Picture of Sen. Joe Lieberman) Be careful, some strawberries look just like blueberries...

(Picture of Lincoln Chafee) ...and some blueberries look just like strawberries.

Other fruits may try to distract you with fancy packaging or by telling you about the farms on which they were raised. But keep in mind that when the proportions are as close as they are right now, most often, when push comes to shove, a blueberry tastes like a blueberry, and a strawberry tastes like a strawberry.

We may not have as many fruits as we'd like, but our blender is still a pretty prized possession. A lot of other people are stuck drinking Tang, and prune juice. We like our blender so much that we even buy the same model, wrap it up, and try to give it to other households as a gift. Sometimes, we try to give it to people who don't really have a place to plug it in, or that have fruits that don't really taste all that good together. Sure, the frappé button sticks a little bit, and from time to time, we misplace some of the blades, but our blender is something to take pride in.

As we get closer to unwrapping it, maybe take some time to study the fruit near you. And if you feel compelled, go to the forum and tell other people about what you found. Even endorse some fruit. I made a place for you to do it.

The Vloggies are coming up this weekend, and I can't go. And I need a Sports Racer in San Francisco to fill my place. One small caveat, you'll be dressed as a duck. I'll supply the duck, but you have to make it come to life. I'll look for an official nomination in the forum tomorrow.

Yeah yeah.


When this show was originally posted, Republicans were referred to as blueberries and Democrats were referred to as strawberries. This was changed on 11/03 due to the fact that on electoral maps, Democrats have been represented using the color blue, and Republicans have been represented using the color red.

This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Happy Bday Baldwin! it's not Mexico but...

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    dental work is expensive

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-7.gif    oooo... it's favorite color. :)


Image:theshow-sponsor-2-1.gif    stupid chicken, smart duckie

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-3.gif    insert clever comment here

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-2.gif    addicted and grateful.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-2.gif    You can't read yet, but happy 6th b-day, Bailey!!!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Thanks Ze!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-2.gif    I'm just a stupid chicken!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    I'm green Zan

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    screw diamonds - duckies are a girl's best friend.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-5.gif    -=:

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-3.gif    might be the best $10 i've spent this year

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Quafnar!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-4.gif    =:

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-2.gif    Where have all the millionaire sugar mamas gone?

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-3.gif    Green chicken for ze!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-7.gif    Halloween Candy? No, just take one

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-7.gif    Ze, you make my day. -Kara.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-4.gif    Crayons taste like purple! (Tardy Turtle)

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