the show: 11-06-06

From zefrank

Jump to: navigation, search

the show: no such show: $showdate | watch this show | the show: no such show: $showdate
no such show: $showdate

list of all transcripts | list of incomplete transcripts


Intro (a girl): Good morning, Sportsracers! :giggle:

Ze: Uh, hello. I admire your head scratching technique. It looks itchy!

One day before election day, and recent polls show that Republicans are narrowing the gap. How do they do this thing? It's tricky. Last week, the commissioner of Internal Revenue ordered his agency, the IRS, not to collect back taxes from Katrina victims until after the election. Commissioner Mark Everson said he did so to avoid negative publicity. But for whom? Ever- Everson says it's the IRS itself that's avoiding negative publicity. But last I checked, the IRS is not running for office. In the last few weeks, the GOP has used some traditional telemarketing techniques usually used to sell things like soap. And soft drinks. Critics, as they often do, have criticized these mass techniques, saying that they smell and look a lot like push polls.

What's a push poll?

A push poll is a divisive campaigning technique in which voters are led to believe that they're participating in a public opinion poll. The questions, however, are designed to push voters towards a particular opinion. Question 1: Is Dennis Hastert willingly covering up the Page scandal or is he merely incompetent? For example, in the 2000 election, the Bush campaign used push polling against John McCain. Voters on the receiving end of the line were reportedly asked "would you be more likely or less likely to vote for John McCain for president, if you knew that he had fathered and illegitimate black child?"


John McCain and his wife had, in fact, adopted a Bangladeshi girl. But that doesn't really matter in the push polls because, in that moment, there's no place for the facts to push back. The key to the new GOP strategy is using automated phone services just in case you debate.

"Honey, did you know Hillary Clinton's a vampire?"

The president, pictured here looking learned, made a campaign stop in Missouri this past weekend endorsing Senator Jim Talent. Speaking about Talent's efforts to curb methamphetamine laboratories, Bush said (quote) "if you're concerned about what meth does to your fellow citizens, send Jim Talent back to the United States Senate." Didn't you get arrested, that's something different. In the past week, Bush has had some reasons to be concerned about what meth does to his fellow citizens. Reverend Ted Haggard, evangelical pastor and founder of the New Life Mega-Church, resigned from the National Association of Evangelicals on Thursday after being confronted by a man who said that Haggard had paid him for sex and that he had used methamphetamine. Always wondered how those guys managed to stay so upbeat. He has been complaining of visions for years. Although haggard, Haggard denies that he used the drugs, said he bought them because he was interested, but he flushed them down the toilet. You should see that toilet. The New Life Church has banned all methamphetamine use, adding that services will take place slightly later in the day.

According to the Scripps Howard News Service and Time Magazine, Haggard made frequent visits to the White House and participated in a weekly teleconference with the White House staff. White House spokesperson Tony Fraddo downplayed those ties, saying "Wollawollawollawhoa." Haggard's accuser came forward to expose what he felt was hypocricy on the part of a pastor who preached the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman but was sneaking off to get a little man rub from time to time.

What's going on here? You got Foley passing pedo laws while he's checking the tags on Pages' boxers and Haggard's slamming homosexuality while he's doing a little dabbling. What next? Osama Bin Laden's credibility has recently taken a beating amid rumors that he's been secretly sponsoring a boutique orphanage for Jewish kittens in the West Bank. Kosher Kibbles could not be reached for comment.

This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    motherduckers, sportsracers and fabulosos

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    thank you ze from

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    We dig Ze at ... ... respect

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-4.gif    Who put the duckies in the pool at FSG? I did!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-1.gif    ze- thanks for thinking so I don't have to!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    Worst bling duckie, ever.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Hi Bart! --Andy

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-2.gif    Be my hetero life partner

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-6.gif    funny, smart, cute = sexy U R sexiest man alive!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-3.gif    green teal duckie says VOTE dammit!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-8.gif    Vote!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-2.gif    Vote! Nov. 7th!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-1.gif    Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Please!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-1.gif    duckie hoodie + power moves = ivar's bday!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-6.gif    bloo

Personal tools