the show: 11-07-06

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Transcript

<Two Girls and a Cat>: Welcome to The Show with Zefrank.

That cat looks psyched.

I remember when I was younger, some things would upset me and my parents would placate me by saying, "Someday when you're older, you'll understand." But now I'm older, and I forgot what those things were. Maybe that's what they were talking about.

In any-- In any case, two girls and a cat, don't let that happen to you. If you don't understand something, don't let them give you that "when you're older" crap. All they actually mean is, you're going to forgot about it! And if you have to, give it right back to 'em.

"Young lady, I can't understand for the life of me why you and your friends would be out on a golf course at 4 am trying to jumpstart a backhoe!"

"You'll understand... when you're older."

Shzam, if that don't get you grounded!

Smell that? Smells like votin'.

Pump, pump, pump that area.

It's votin' day, the day you vote -- yippee-ai yippee-ai ay.

I voted in a public school! The voting part was alright, but how 'bout that bake sale?! Trying to influence my vote with sugary goodness.

"Try the cookie."

I didn't know if it was okay to take my camera inside, but I did take it to the bathroom!

Worst lesson on plural nouns... ever.

Check it out, my neighboor's door is shaped like a pee-pee.

Not sure, but this smells like voter intimidation. Someone's tryin' to send that tree a message.

Oh, you sick bastards.

That kinda crap wouldn't of scared this tree though - hell, he lives right next to a graveyard!

Awed Job writes: Profile a lamppost in your neighboorhood!

I'll confess: I don't know that much about lampposts, but this one was kinda glad to see me, while this one was REALLY glad to see me. I think I finally understand what pressing that crosswalk button actually does!

Red rocket, red rocket.

Worm writes: Anal beads?

Anal beads?! How'd you know about my anal beads? And what'd you bring them up for?

"Uh, Ze? Technically you just ended that sentence with a preposition."

Jokes for nerds!

The point is, we've got a great day of TV ahead of us. It's like watching a whole day of ESPN's World Series of Poker. It's like watching a twenty-four hour game of Texas Holdem', except the winner gets the deficit! So go and vote - you might get lucky.

We did when we voted Lala to dress up as a duck and go to the Vloggies. Man, can she be a duck.

And remember - when it's all over, fifty percent of the candidates are gonna go home to their families, and have to explain why they no longer have a career!

---

Just the other day, I was saying to myself that someday my genitals would come in handy.

(Come in handy...?)

I was saying to myself that someday my genitals would be of use.

Today that prediction has come true, in that they've helped create an arbitrary category in which I stood a chance of competing.

First, I'd like to thank the judges for not selecting someone else with similar, but non-identical genitals.

Second, I'd like to thank all the Sports Racers for standing by my genitals through thick and thin.

(Who wrote this?)

Thirdly, I'd like to thank support and comfort for exactly that.

And last, I'd like to thank all of you for putting so much time and energy into making this space as weird, diverse and exciting as it is. [Slo-mo Blink] (Quack.)




This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy

Image:theshow-sponsor-4-0.gif    TOM WEST, I LOVE YOU, ZE YOU ARE MY NEW LITTLE BRO

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    this is not a ducky

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-3.gif    You best genuflect, sucka!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-2.gif    this is not a blue square-like formation of pixels

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-7.gif    do I make you a little horny?

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-4.gif    thanks, ze, for a great show!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    Snappy pwns you!------ FomPortal.com

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-1.gif    Vote Today!! www.lwv.org for info. Vote Today!!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-8.gif    Vote! Vote Today! Vote! Vote Today! Please!!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-2.gif    Vote Today!! www.lwv.org for info! Vote Today!!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    SF Bay for Ze!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-4.gif    Solamente GAGS!!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Will Ze go on to sell private-label duckie candy?

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Writing this pre-vote - here\u0027s hoping sanity won!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-1.gif    thanks for fun and engaging spots, Ze --Ez

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-3.gif    Thanks zefrank.


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