the show: 11-13-06

From zefrank

Transcript

Jan: Morning, Sports Racers, this is Jan from the Faux Press (http://fauxpress.blogspot.com/), reporting from the set of Ze Frank's The Show.

Ze: Hi new viewers, confused? It's simple. Jalepeno, stinky nipple.

Stinky nipples everybody put your fingers on your stinky nipples

Jalepeno

Stinky nipples everywhere

mmmm

So stinky

Nipple one, nipple two, sometimes three.

Nipple one, nipple two, which one's stinky?

Nipple one, nipple two, sometimes three.

Nipple one, nipple two, which one's stinky?

Woah, I don't know

Stinky nipples everybody put your fingers on the stinky nipples Jalepeno

Stinky nipples everywhere

[/song]

I think that clears it up, eh? And now for dirty space news.

The New Scientist reports that the space craft Cassini has captured images of the huge hurricane two-thirds as wide as the Earth raging on Saturn. The hurricane, pictured he--

Oh my God! It looks just like a va-

If there was any question as to why the Bush administration has been cutting NASA's funds, I believe we know the answer.

Scientists say that the hurricane has a warm spot...teehee...that surrounds Saturn's south pole. No!

It's intellectual comedy.

The world's still reeling from last week's elections, one of the big winners was Hilary Clinton. A landslide victory in New York has greatly boosted the chances that she'll run for president in two years. The Democrats who so far have been moderatly excited about Hilary and Barack Obama are still holding out for their ideal canidate: an atheist lesbian Asian-American man with a face tattoo. It's a shoo-in.

Possibly the biggest loser last week was Bush's political strategist, Karl Rove. Rove had consistently predicted a Republican win, leaving many Democrats wondering if he had something up his sleeve.

They forgot to install the "We Win" buttons on the voting machines? Crap.

The President's gotta be pissed because I'm sure he thought the same thing.

During a recent interview Bush was asked about a book reading competition that he has with Rove. That's right, a book reading competition. Bush responded by saying, "I'm losing. I obviously was working harder on the campaign than he was." Oh snap!

These little friendly digs are no stranger to the President, the Washington Post reports that Bush often refers to Rove as Turdblossom. Turdblossom, that's his hardcharger name.

The pinnacle of modern civilization, Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/ Nickname List), has a list of all the hardcharger name that Bush has doled out to his staff. And others. For example, Pootie-Poot for the President of Russia. Guru for Condoleeza Rice, Big O for Senator Olympia Snow, and Turdblossom.

Turdblossom is of course a throwback to the 1950's musical comedy with the same name.

[song]

Turdblossom, I hope you're faring well.

I hope that your aroma counteracts the smell of

That shit that you grow on.

Turdblossom, I hope you're faring well.

[/song]

Are they gone yet?