the show: 12-01-06

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Transcript

(weird Horse/Alligator jumps onto the screen and speaks in a high-pitched echoing voice)

[Horsigator] Greetings Sports Racers and welcome to the show with ze frank. Now watch this powerful move.

(Horsigator jumps off screen leaving the words Sports and Racer in smoke as it leaves)

(cut back to Ze)

[Ze] And they say this show is confusing to new viewers. Well then let me be clear, I'm in San Antonio, home of the Alamo, and today is Ride the Fire Eagle Danger Day.

(RFEDD theme song plays behind a stop-animation of a flying fire eagle that lands in a paper-cutout town and lights a duckie on fire with it's fire breath)

President Bush headed to Jordan this week to have a meeting with King Abdullah II and Iraqi prime minister Nuri Al-Maliki. The focus of the meeting was supposed to be to try to get a handle on the escalating violence in Iraq.

Buuut, things got a little tricky when a certain administration memo was leaked.

(cut to pics of Stephen Hadley in the same facial expression)

The New York Times published a memo written by White House National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley who was reportedly still working on his second facial expression.

This photo, leaked earlier today, shows what he allegedly refers to as accordion head.

Hadley's memo was particularly critical of Maliki saying quote:

    "The reality on the streets of Baghdad suggests that Maliki is either ignorant of what is going on, misrepresenting his intentions, or his capabilities are not yet sufficient to turn his good intentions into action."

(cut back to Ze)

Ooooh, insufficient capabilities sounds good but what was the first one again?

It's weird, I just get this feeling they don't like him.

So Maliki's getting flack from Moqtada al-Sadr, the Shiite leader, for even being at the summit and after the memo surfaces he says that he's gonna cut the meeting short by a day.

That's like the nerd fight equivalent of erasing somebody's wiki entry.

Off the hook!

After what I'm sure was some good old-fashioned ass-kissing they finally had that meeting and decided to have more meetings.

Finally after all was said and done, President Bush emerged with, eh... not that much to talk about. But he was convinced that Maliki was the right man for the job.

(cut to a screenshot of the the AF1 press conference transcript)

Even the memo boy Hadley was impressed. At a press conference on Air Force One, Hadley said that Maliki quote:

    "Gives an impression of a man with the right vision, determination, is developing a plan and a series of plans with his team as to how to get that done."

(cut back to Ze)

More plans than you can handle. They're even planning plans as they speak.

(cut back to press conference transcript and continue quote)

    "He clearly talks about his impatience to do things quicker, faster, and better and the President said that that's one of the things we like about him.

(cut back to Ze)

Forget about that other stuff we said, as long as you're impatient.

The Iraq study group headed up by former Secretary of State James Baker III is set to release it's report next Wednesday.

The new New York Times scooped it again.

(looking angrily at the camera) Nobody ever leaks anything to me.

Insiders say that the report will recommend a gradual reduction of troops by two-thousand and eight [2008] and increased aggressive diplomacy in the region.

The reports describe the recommendations as a goal and not a firm timetable.

Critics say that all the report does is buy the president some time as he searches for a solution and avoids a large scale withdrawal.

But, in anticipation of that release, at least there's some forward movement.

The military announced today that four Iraqi army divisions will be put under Baghdad's control by next March.

As to the extent that the rest of the recommendations will taken into consideration, accordion head Hadley takes us out.

(cut to a picture of Hadley and with accordion music in the background)

Quote:

    "It's really going to be when the President is comfortable in his own mind as to where he wants to go."




This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-2.gif    Keeping my sprits up, thanks ze

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-4.gif    Love from Camp Bruno

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-1.gif    Sugardaddy! Dyn-o-mite!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    more ducky!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-1.gif    Boston <3 Ze


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