the show: 12-04-06

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Intro from guy lying in bed: Good morning from James Madison University Sports Racers. You’re watching “The Show with Ze Frank”.

Ze: Hello! Welcome back from the weekend. deflective writes: “Is the ORG lost? Should we send a search party?” Ha ho - you have no idea. The ORG has been baking and it needs some Sports Racers to test if its done. If you’re up for it click the link in the sidebar, the first hundred Sports Racers to do that will be charged with giving it a test run. After a little poking and prodding it’ll be open to the rest of us.

Singing: [Rr-rum. Rrr-rumsfeld…]

Ze: Over the weekend, another memo was Ma-leak-ied. Two days before his resignation, Rumsfeld sent out a memo acknowledging that some major adjustments had to be made in the U.S strategy for Iraq. Admittedly a couple years late Rummy laid out a list of over 20 possible courses of action. The memo itself is divided into "above the line" recommendations, or could and should be dones, and "below the line" recommendations, or less attractive.

Shot of online quotes of memo: Ze: Some "above the line" options are fairly straight forward including quote “provide money to key political and religious leaders (as Sadam Hussain did) to get them to help us get through this difficult period.”, as well as a reverse embed which would pair Iraq forces with U.S. troops "improv[ing] our units' language capabilities" and giving the Iraqis experience.”

Ze: Another "above the line" option is similar to what the Iraq study group and many Democrats support quote: “Begin modest withdrawls of U.S. and Coalition forces (start 'taking our hands[sic] off the bicycle seat') so Iraqis know that[sic] they have to pull up their socks, step up and take responsibility for their country.”

Shot of Ze: Ze: The Bush administration immediately responded by pointing out that it's very difficult to pull up your socks while riding a bicycle.

Back to the memo: Ze: Rummy also suggested that the administration quote: "Announce that whatever new approach the U.S. decides on, the U.S. is doing so on a trial basis, This will give us the ability to readjust and move to another course, if necessary, and therefore not 'lose'".

Shot of Ze: Ze: Oh that’s why Bush keeps saying we’re gonna win. We get to change the rules.

Tall Ze: Ah I found you! You lose! Short Ze: No, we’re not playing "hide and seek" anymore, I changed it. We’re playing "get found."

Ze: Why not just say we were trying to start a civil war while increasing Iran and Syria’s influence in the area. We can’t lose!

Memo shot: Ze: Heading up the "below the line" options is “continue on the current path.”

Wired Mag online: Ze: Wired magazine reports that the Army is already experimenting with the "can’t lose" strategy. The makers of Future Force Company Commander, an Army recruiting video game, said that the army didn’t want them to include low tech vulnerabilities. Realities such as equipment failure and an evolving enemy on the ground were left out of the game.

Ze returns: Ze: If its hard to beat, change the rules.

With the holidays fast approaching we need to change the rules as well. We need new holiday songs. Some folks in the forum have already started. Make a new fangled holiday song and upload it to the gallery, and I’ll play snippets at the beginning and end of the show. Here’s mine:


 1st Vocal line:     |  2nd Vocal:  |  3rd Vocal:           |  4th Vocal:
                     |              |                       |  
 Rumsfeld, Rumsfeld, |  Osama       |                       |  
 Rumsfeld, Rumsfeld, |  Bin Laden,  |                       |  
 Rumsfeld, Rumsfeld, |  Hillary     |                       |  
 Rumsfeld, Rumsfeld, |  Clinton,    |                       |  
 Rumsfeld, Rumsfeld, |  'tada       |                       |  
 Rumsfeld, Rumsfeld, |  al-Sadr,    |                       |  
 Rumsfeld, Rumsfeld, |  Ahmadi-     |                       |  
 Rumsfeld, Rumsfeld, |  Najad.      |                       |  
 Obama,              |              |  Foley,               |  
 Barack Obama,       |              |  Pelosi,              |  
 Obama,              |  Hezbollah.  |  Hastert Cheney,      |  
 Barack Obama,       |              |  O.J. Simpson,        |  Little Duckies,
 Muqtada, Muqtada,   |              |  Hezbollah-al-Maliki, |  Ahmadinijad,
 Muqtada, Muqtada,   |  Hezbollah.  |  Hezbollah-al-Maliki, |  Ahmadinijad,
 Muqtada, Muqtada,   |              |  Hezbollah-al-Maliki, |  Ahmadinijad,
 Muqtada, Muqtada,   |              |  Hezbollah-al-Maliki, |  Ahmadinijad.
 Rumsfeld, Rumsfeld, |  Osama       |  Hezbollah-al-Maliki, |  
 Rumsfeld, Rumsfeld, |  Bin Laden,  |  Hezbollah-al-Maliki. |  
 Rumsfeld, Rumsfeld, |  Hillary     |                       |  
 Rumsfeld, Rumsfeld, |  Clinton,    |                       |  
 Rumsfeld, Rumsfeld, |  'tada       |                       |  
 Rumsfeld, Rumsfeld, |  al-Sadr,    |                       |  
 Rumsfeld, Rumsfeld. |  Ahmadi-     |                       |  
                     |  Najad.      |                       |  

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