the show: 12-27-06

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  • transcriber: Jeffmilner 20:16:25, 27 December 2006 (MNT)

Good morning Sports Racers. This is Zach in Longmont Colorado, part of the greater Denver metro area.

This is my car and this is the show with Ze Frank.

Worst ninja ever.

Worst "worst ever" ever.

That was so meta.

You'd think that for the holidays it'd have the decency to stop... no, just like the world series of poker, news just keeps on going.

The New Scientist reports the discovery that moths that drink the tears of sleeping birds.

Silly poets around the world were heard saying, "Dang I wish I thought of that".

Have you heard? Have you heard? Moths drink the tears of sleeping birds...

[laughing] silly poets.

How do they get the birds to cry while they're sleeping?

"You flew the wrong way"

"Sure your mom regurgitated for ya, but you were always last, weren't ya? You got the little grubs."

It appears that the moth is sticking it's... ah.. proboscis into the eye of the bird.

Really?

Get your mind out of the gutter Spencer. [snort] It's drinking its tears.

Enough with the moth!

oh sadness sucking moth where were you in '93 when Ellen left me in Ronconkima.

Enough.

Check this transition out.

Speaking of birds that have something to cry about, The Washington Post reports that the bush administration is planning on taking the Bald Eagle off the endangered species list by February 16th.

It just came to me, I was like eagles are birds. Ya know--tears. Pow. Other people might not have put the work in. Ya know, I take it seriously.

The declassification is a result of a federal lawsuit filed by a Minnesota property owner. Edmund Contansky discovered a nest on some property that he planned on developing. But quickly found that federal regulations prohibited building within 330 feet of said nest. After having been classified as endangered in 1963 the bald eagle has "rebounded" to over 7000 nesting pairs, and even major environmental groups support the declassification.

After all, it guarantees that they'll have a job to do in another couple of years.

Contansky pointed out that eagles don't pay taxes but that he does. The eagle pointed out it posed for the IRS logo. The eagle on Contansky's property has been seen practicing taking craps on moving targets.

To fill the gap the administration plans on adding an animal to the endangered species list...das polar bear. The ice that the bears walk on seems to be disappearing due to a warming trend. Some say a global (pronounced snarkily for emphasis) warming trend. The proposal puts the U.S. government on record saying that global warming may cause the extinction of a species.

Just gonna throw it out there...you might wanna start thinkin' about PEOPLE!

SPORTS RACER ALERT!

Running Fool needs your help! Here's what he needs:

(1) Lodging in Syracuse tonight.

(2) A ride between Syracuse and Buffalo tomorrow.

And

(3) A ride between Guelph, Ontario and Woodstock, Ontario on Friday morning.

That one's only 45 minutes. If ya wanna be awesome check the link in the sidebar.

(Cheesey ad for a soap manufacturer follows Ze's rant. Let's hope he got a few bling duckies outta the deal.)



This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Shane loves Jess. Here's to Future Life (TM)!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-1.gif    Thanks for the inspiration!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-3.gif    Thanks from Portland Oregon, you go!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-1.gif    This counts as a home office deduction, right?

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-8.gif    Now Dove is thinking so Ze doesn't have to.


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