Fabuloso Friday/Intro/ATNVGY?
From zefrank
←Older revision | Newer revision→
The Intro under the debate is a joke in which Ze speculates that the readers may force him insult himself, followed by him doing so. I have added the original 'poopie-head' version because it is less potentially insulting as it's clearly just an over-the-top gag.
- Yeah, over the top in the stallone [movie] way.
- Betcher ass.
Contents |
Original Original 'Poopie-Head' Version
[Ze returns to looking into the distance momentarily. Then turns back to camera looking slightly panicked.]
Ze: But wait! That means you could theoretically have me say something like "I am a big fat poopie head" for 5 straight minutes!
[CUT]
Ze: Aw, hell, you guys aren't THAT big a bunch of sad, lonely, patheticly sadistic sociopathic bastards..
[BEAT]
[CUT]
ZE: [begrudingly, with eyeroll] I am a big fat poopie head. [5xFAST]
ZE: I am a big fat poopie head [2x, again with cuts as editor finds fitting]
CUT TO WIDE
Ze: [faux-excited] Fabuloso Friday sucks already!
CU
ZE: 'Are the New Viewers gone yet?
Original Douchebag Version
[Ze returns to looking into the distance momentarily. Then turns back to camera with a look of mock-enthusiasm.]
Ze: That means you could have me say something like 'I'm a huge douchebag' for 5 straight minutes!
Ze: I am a huge douchebag.
Ze: I AM a huge douchebag.
Ze: I am a HUGE douchebag.
Ze: I am a huge DOUCHEbag.
Ze: I am a huge doucheBAG.
Ze: [German accent] I am a huge douchebag.
Ze: [English accent] I am a huge douchebag.
Ze: I am a huge douchebag.
Extreme CU
Ze: [whispering, petulant] Fabuloso Friday sucks already!
CU
Ze: In France, the meaning of the word douche is to shower or...
Ze: [Goofy, fast. Giddy.] I am a douchebag.
Ze: ...to wash.
INTIMATE CU
Ze: [He's talking to you. He knows you. You know he knows you.] But you already knew that.
CUT TO ZE, WEARING A BATHROBE, COMING OUT OF THE BATHROOM WITH A HUGE TOWEL ON HIS HEAD
Ze: Before work every morning, I like to take a nice douche.
CU
Ze: [whispering] Are the new viewers gone yet?
CUT BACK TO TOWEL AND BATHROBE ZE
Ze: [on the phone] Listen, can I call you back? I just got out of the douche.
[beat]
Douchebaggery Aside
[Ze returns to looking into the distance momentarily. Then turns back to camera with a look of mock-enthusiasm.]
Ze: That means you could have me say something like 'I'm a huge douchebag' for 5 straight minutes!
Ze: I am a huge d-- [cut off]
Ze: [looking very disapproving, shaking his head]
Extreme CU
Ze: [whispering, petulant] Fabuloso Friday sucks already!
CU
Ze: In France, the meaning of the word douche is to shower or to wash.
INTIMATE CU
Ze: [He's talking to you. He knows you. You know he knows you.] But you already knew that.
CUT TO ZE, WEARING A BATHROBE, COMING OUT OF THE BATHROOM WITH A HUGE TOWEL ON HIS HEAD
Ze: Before work every morning, I like to take a nice douche.
CU
Ze: [whispering] Are the new viewers gone yet?
CUT BACK TO TOWEL AND BATHROBE ZE
Ze: [on the phone] Listen, can I call you back? I just got out of the douche.
[beat]
Douche-lite Version
[Ze returns to looking into the distance momentarily. Then turns back to camera with a look of mock-enthusiasm.]
Ze: Racing is the 'what', and 'fast' is the how. Bienvenue, I am not feeling myself and someone else is doing all the thinking.
EXTREME CU
Ze George Bush ROCKS!!!
Ze: [whispering, petulant] Fabuloso Friday sucks already!
CU
Ze: In France, the meaning of the word douche is to shower or...[pause] Whoa...Deja vu!
Ze: [Goofy, high-pitched, french-accented voice, very fast] I am a douchebag.
Ze: Deja vu, means "already seen" in French, which also called pa-ra-mne-si-a.
INTIMATE CU
Ze: [He's talking to you. He knows you. You know he knows you.] But you already knew that. Don't feel bad if you didn't. (winks)
CUT TO SLIGHTLY ASKEW CLOSE-UP (Blair Witch - style)
Ze: There was a weird guy at the Yo-Yo Emporium... [Quick insert of the classic photograph of Arnold Schwarzenegger with the phrase 'SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE' in HUGE letters]
Ze: He looked like he wanted to tell me something... I am glad he didn't.
CUT TO MEDIUM RANGE
Ze: [whispering] Are the new viewers gone yet?
[beat]
Alternate Version
[Ze returns to looking into the distance and puffs his pipe.]
Extreme CU
Ze: [smiling, naively upbeat]: I sure hope you Sports Racers aren't going to make me do anything silly today!
CUT to wide shot of Ze's apartment with armchair central.
[Highly sped up short clip: Ze does a jolly 'How to Dance Properly' - style jig around his room, whilst an acoustic version of 'Anti-intellectualism' plays]
CUT TO EXTREME CU
Ze: [pouty]: Assholes!
CUT TO CU
[Ze makes blub-blub noises by moving finger over his lips, with an attitude of compelled cheerfulness as if trapped in hell]
CUT TO NEW CU
[Ze pulls sides of mouth back with fingers and wags tongue horizontally back and forth while saying aaaaaaaah]
CUT TO CU OF BACK OF ZE'S HEAD
Ze: [sounding somewhat muffled]: This is going much better than I expected.
CUT TO NEW CU
[Sped up. Ze making corny seductive motions to camera.]
CUT BACK TO EXTREME CU
Ze: [even more pouty]: Assholes!
CUT TO CU
Ze: [downcast]: I think some hardchargers got to the script.
CUT TO ZE, WEARING A BATHROBE, COMING OUT OF THE BATHROOM WITH A HUGE TOWEL ON HIS HEAD
Ze: [chatty, a little feminine] You know, in an earlier version of this, I walked out dressed as Carmen Miranda. It was fabulous!
[Quick insert of the classic photograph of Arnold Schwarzenegger with the phrase 'SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE' in HUGE letters]
CUT TO CU
Ze: [deadpan] They're making me do this.
CUT BACK TO CU OF BACK OF ZE'S HEAD
Ze: [sounding somewhat muffled]: Are the new viewers gone yet?
Alternate Alternate Version
CU of Ze's thumb, with a blue-pen happyface drawn on it.
Ze's thumb moves to indicate speech.
Ze: (in high-pitched falsetto) Welcome to thumbellina's adventures in thumbland. I'm thumbellina and I'll be your host for today's show!
[Beat]
Ze peeks his right eye into the bottom right corner of the frame.
Ze: Are the new viewers gone yet?
Douche without the Definition
Ze: Good Morning Sports Racers! Knowledge got stuck in a wiki and nobody can get it out. That's right...it's 'Fabuloso Friday' where I do the show YOU want me to do!
Ze: But wait! That means you could theoretically have me say something like "I am a huge douchebag" for 5 straight minutes!
Ze: Aw, you guys aren't THAT big a bunch of sad, pathetic, sadistic sociopathic bastards.
[BEAT]
Ze: I am a huge douchebag. I am a huge douchebag. I am a huge douchebag. I am a huge douchebag. I am a huge douchebag.
ZE: Are the old viewers gone yet?