Fabuloso Friday 2

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M-m-m-meaningless guidelines


"Next Friday is gonna be another Fabuloso Friday. Except this time it'll be a little easier. You write segments no more than 15 seconds long. Next Thursday we'll all vote for our favorite segments. I'll perform the top one minute's worth of segments in 'From the Fabulosos.' Just a couple of things: no nudity, no props unless they're essential, and if you want to remove an idea that somebody else worked on, don't delete it. Move it to the magic dumpster. Just copy, click on the magic dumpster link and paste it. Good luck Fabulosos." -zefrank


How Do You Work This Thing?

Add your 15 second segment below:

  • Create a new section below by clicking here
  • Make sure you give a good name to your segment

Help with someone else's segment:

  • Leave a comment or suggestion
  • Respectfully edit someone else's work
  • Do not delete lines, simply strike it through and write your own. (<strike>like this</strike>)
  • Please do not delete sections. Simply copy and paste unwanteds into the 'Magic Dumpster' (above)

Brainstorm:


Contents


Intro

moved here

Fabuloso Friday is like...

moved here

Fabuloso Friday Sponsor

(to go near the beginning).

Ze: This week's bite-sized Fabuloso Friday is sponsored by shitty mini-food that you get at 'posh' parties.

[Medium close up]

Ze: It's designed so you don't feel so bad about gorging your face.

[Extreme close up of Ze with his mouth full of food.]

Ze: (Talking like a woman and spitting food) I just LOVE these hors d'oeuvres!!!

Karl Rove WTF?

Cut to [1]

Normal voice:

"Karl Rove..."

CU, whispering

"asshole!"

Back to photo

Normal Voice:

"shown here not undermining the security of the US by divulging classified information to a reporter for the sole purpose of undermining opponents to the war in Iraq, has been informed that special counsel Patrick Fitzgerald will not pursue charges against him in the ongoing Plame leak investigation."

CU, whispering

"Leaking is bad... and it sounds dirty!"

Cut to [2]

CU, excited

"Awesome! I wonder which treasonous crony Bush will pardon instead!"

Cut to [3]

"Karl, welcome to the League of Awesomeness. Your Sports Racer name will be... Leaky Beak!"

Knowledge

Rescuscitated from last week's Knowledge (Top votes)

Version Graymon Ze: Good Morning, Sports Racers, it's Fabuloso Friday June 9th, Knowledge will be back on monday when people who don't suck write the show. [big cheesy grin]

Version original Ze: Good Morning, Sports Racers, it's Friday, Friday, Friday, Fabuloso. Knowledge is making me hungry so let's whip up some brain batter and pour it on the searing griddle of truth.

Version Team Wombat Ze: Good Morning, Sports Racers, It's Fabuloso Friday June 9th. Knowledge got stuck in a wiki, and no one knows how to get it out.

Version German Takeover Ze: Gutenmorgen, Sportwettbewerbteilnehmer, es ist Fabuloso Freitag. Wissen ist von Tchermans übernommen worden.

Version Tyranosaurus Ze: Good Morning, Sports Racers, it's Fabuloso Friday June 9th, Knowledge will be back on monday when people who don't suck write the show. [BEAT; big cheesy grin] [condescendingly, nodding] Me.

(I am sorry, but Knowledge is a great section... short enough for fifteen seconds! :D CeruleanNinja 15:00, 16 June 2006 (PDT))

Version Pancakes Ze: Greetings, Sports Racers! Knowledge was fixing pancakes today. Let's go scrape the truth off the ceiling!

Version DruNk Ze: Good morning Sports Racers, since last friday's episode didn't mix well with alcohol, it's time again for knowledge to open of the padora's box of wiki and take a backseat to the democratic process.

Version SO Ze: Good morning Sports Raper... Good morning Spurts Ray... Good morning Sports Racers, Knowledge's SO thought all of these were stupid, and reacted with an icy, withering stare.

Version Cheese Ze: Good morning Sports Racers, Knowledge milked the Cow of Awesomeness and brings the Cheese of Truth.

Reading All the Comments

Ze, read the first word of each comment from one episode for 15 seconds. Or perhaps the first 2 words of each comment.

  • and if we planned it well enough we could leave a cryptic message in the first word of each comment
  • This should start with 'S-s-s-something from each comment' or something like that.
  • Or... 'S-s-s-something from the coments-s-s-s'? :) CeruleanNinja

Rude words

moved here due to popularity
Updated CeruleanNinja 15:14, 18 June 2006 (PDT)

Ze Limericks

moved here due to popularity

Peanut butter

Ze covers himself entirely in peanut butter

Duckies

Ze says duckies as fast as he can and as many times as he can in 15 seconds.

  • Or he could say "oushed" as many times as he can in 15 seconds, except it's not funny. At least saying duckies doesn't try to be funny, it's more real, it just exists, that is, duckies are there, in the moment, there... --Gelbi 17:50, 15 June 2006 (PDT)
  • You know what? Trying to say "toy boat" over and over quickly is the best tounge twister in the world. Try it. It doesn't sound hard, but say "toy boat" over and over very very fast and I guarentee (if you're saying it fast enough) you'll mess up. Maybe not as fun as 'duckies', but he could say it until he messed up and THEN say duckies. Or not  : )

I just want more duckies. I miss them.

Glacier Stone

Ze should talk for a little bit, involving intense curse words which are over dubbed with "t.v. style" overdubs. ( example: yippie ki yay mother falcon) and every so often a laugh track should come on, and Ze will have to wait for the laughing to stop to continue so that the audience hears where they are supposed to laugh but cannot understand the joke because of the crap overdubs.

How to gamble

Wearing a hotel issued white bathrobe, Ze sits on the bed and does an amusing commentary about the "how to gamble" instructional video that plays all the time on hotel TVs.

Ze in b&w

Four secs - Silent Ze in lined and scratchy B&W: white powder face, eyeliner, lip rouge, he blinks his eyes very fast like Fay Ray or Lillian Gish, Valentino smiles gives the (hubba hubba) eyebrows. Flim slips to colour has a surprised Marcel Marceau expression.

  • Soundtrack for black and white should be melodrammatic piano music, no?
  • yes, nice touch. but it should be just a splash of tinkly piano music. Something like this[4] ignore film.

Ceci n'est pas une ze

Does any part of the news with a flowing white flour sack over his face with the caption “Ceci n'est pas une Ze”

  • Oh yeah??? And this is not a comment... --Gelbi 18:33, 15 June 2006 (PDT)

Kitty licken' good

Ze's cat licks food off his face. ze licks food off of cats face?

Cramps my style

Ze acknowledges that the no nudity clause has stiffled my creativity

  • Yes, yes... this should be acknowledged! --Gelbi 17:21, 15 June 2006 (PDT)
  • not any more ;)

Safe distance

This is a planned event - ze waits for a big loud motorcycle to drive by in the hood, makes an annoyed and angry face as the guy passes, at just the right (safe) distance ze yells “Hey Asshole!” If the guy hears him and stops, ze expresses a look of panic and runs for cover or does his power move. If the guy doesn't hear him, ze checks/shakes his ears with his little finger and mumbles “asshole.”

Wiki

Ze discusses the upsides and downsides of wikis and how many people and edits it took to make the Fabulosobits he's showing. Of course, this count would have to be done at the very last minute, at some point between the closing of the voting and the actual show production.

Buyah!

I liked the milk/dog/tinkle bit he did on one of last weeks shows. I know he said no props less essential, buuuuuuuuut I think it would be a perfect regular piece for Fabulosos Fridays; since physical comedy is so limited in this venue, a little “harmless” fun at ze's expense would fulfill the need so many seem to have for dressing him up. So I propose that during Fabuloso Fridays different sounds are used to startle ze while he is eating. To get the ball rolling here's one idea:

  • Wearing a NY Yankees cap ze is startled by the loud sound of a bull horn while eating cracker jacks and/or a hot dog full of horse radish and ketchup. Startled by the sound the cracker jacks fly and/or the hot dog squirts out of the bun. His response with a mouth full of food yelling, “Heeeeeeeeeey batter, batter, batter!”

Giant pink bunny

'And Finally' section, Ze discusses the curious case of the 'Giant Pink Bunny', that's appeared on an Italian mountain side. Read about it here Ze sez: 'It would be fine and dandy, except, disturbingly, the knitted giant is sprawled out road-kill style. ' Schamaun. CeruleanNinja

Internal monologue: Poop

'Internal Monologue Ze'. Medium close shot of Ze musing about the complex issues of the world, which we hear in Voice Over only. Struggling to put these intricate thoughts into a sentence we'd understand, he simply says 'Poop' instead. CeruleanNinja

  • How about a theory snippet from Political Science, something relevant to the current 'mess'? Is there even a theory to rationalise present governments?
  • Everybody's favourite: Chaos Theory, Fractals?...
All I could even remotely dive into are Derrida and Foucault, although can't see how they could possibly be relevant to the moment?... CeruleanNinja 12:40, 17 June 2006 (PDT)
  • Jumping off that idea: flash through 15 seconds of this weeks significant news through pictures/headlines that were important, but ze was unable to cover. Through each new picture/headline ze says "poop!" Taking it one step further by showing judgment of the picture/headline with various sounds of approval or disapproval. "poop!" for approval, a buzzer sound for disapproval or cat calls, "meow" sweet kitty for good, angry stepped on kitty for bad, how ever you would spell that sound.
Intriguing idea, could be a cool way of showing thought process behind commentary?...CeruleanNinja 12:40, 17 June 2006 (PDT)

Random acts of duckie

Ze rides by some street at his current location on a bicycle - preferably red. Doing so, he throws duckies at each houses doorstop. After filming this, he somehow manages to convince a resident of that street to let himself (in a different outfit) be filmed opening a door, picking up the ducky, looking at it wide-eyed, and retreating back inside. So here's what we'd see:

  • Ze bike-riding and ducky-throwing
  • A close-up of a door - Ze2 opens it, looks down, picks up the ducky, looks at it all 'yay'-like, and goes back in.
  • This would probably be best as an intro.
    • Why? Break conventions! Fifteen seconds of random duckies sounds great to me.
      • In hindsight, yes.
  • Ze (with romantic music in the background) frolicing with a duckie.
    • WIN

S-s-s-something from the wiki (#1?)

Ze makes fun of an inappropriate script suggestion. "Hey, this is Fabuloso Friday, not Tharcathtic Barthelona Thurthday." (mutters "Athhole!")

S-s-s-something from the wiki (alternate)

A random fabuloso wrote this! (or something else equally meta?)

A moment for ze

in response to the increasing demand placed on ze that he be 'always on' and entertaining - a trend that I sense is taking it's toll on our favorite dancing monkey - I propose we give ze 15 seconds to relax. Just relax. crack a crispy stella. flip through a magazine. do it for ze.

  • very nice, I love it. seems like the tyke has had a rough week.
  • Great idea, take it easy, have some coffee... not to make a starbucks product placement, just to relax! --Gelbi 15:36, 15 June 2006 (PDT)
  • This is the best idea yet. Especially since Ze has done so much to entertain us and let us relax (only recently with The Show, but with the rest of his site for yeeeears)
  • I like the base concept behind this one, too. Unfortunately it doesn't make for great video. Here's a thought: give Ze 15 seconds to do anything he wants with a promise of no reprisals from the audience. No snarky comments, in fact we promise to never mention it ever, anywhere ... no matter what. (Of course we fail, but that can be entertainment and a mythology unto itself.) muyfabulosotalk 21:09, 15 June 2006 (PDT)
  • Haha, very nice. This should be the first 15 seconds of the show, followed by "are the new viewers gone yet?"
  • Absolutely! Don't forget to sip the starbucks.
  • I'd like to add a new section for "are the new viewers gone yet?" as part of the 15 seconds.

(so I'm gonna copy moving this, but won't delete it from here. I'll leave that up to the original contributor).

Ze gets a tattoo

To show his dedication and commitment to Sportsracers everywhere, I think 15 seconds of his Friday show should show Ze getting a tattoo of a ducky [or something else related to the show] on a body part-o-his choice. He can challenge other Sportsracers to do the same, and send him pictures. Come on, let's take this 'up a notch' baby.

[muy fabuloso! I like it... I dare him!] Retrieved from "http://www.zefrank.com/wiki/index.php/Fabuloso_Friday_2"

  • honestly, I'd be just as happy with a henna or sharpie 'tatoo'. It would be cool to see him put a duckie on his body part of choice and showing it off for us.
  • HEY! How about we design it? Seconding the 'henna' motion (it's safer). Hey, peeps submit your tattoo suggestions. Also, the mini-script could deal with 'I had one too many and woke up with this'. :D CeruleanNinja 13:32, 16 June 2006 (PDT)

Old school

ze should take at least 15 seconds to slow down his speech and allow himself to blink. Do at least one news article like this.

  • good idea, he could start off reading a news article in a high very fast (cartoon) voice then over the 15 seconds slow it all down to a low crawl.

Clevur Woidz

[Ze in repose.]

MEDIUM

Ze: Here's some advice, Sports Racers...

MEDIUM CLOSE

Ze: Learn a new word each day, so that, in time you can communicate by saying things like:...

CLOSE SHOT

[3/4 face at frame left]

Ze: I wish I could defenestrate this exsufflicate script, penned entirely by anonymuncles, depicting me as a balatron.

[3/4 face at frame right]

Ze: Assholes!

'Alternative 2:'

Ze: [whispers] Look them up, I dare ya.

'Alternative 3:'

MEDIUM CLOSE

Ze: ...And continue being a cosmokrator. (ruler of the world)

Make up your own! CeruleanNinja 13:24, 16 June 2006 (PDT)

Rude Clevur Woidz

(This is a cousin-version to ‘Punctuation Substitution’)

[Ze is cranky at someone off-screen. He leans into shot conspirationally.]

MEDIUM

Ze: Here's some advice!

MEDIUM CLOSE

Ze: Expand your vocabulary by gathering rare or antiquated words that mean rude things. So that, you can vent at irritating narks by saying things like...

CLOSE SHOT [Sweet as pie.]

Ze: Wow, a vaniloquent sciolist like yourself should definitely run for senate.

EXTREME CU [Secretly sarcastic.]

Ze: And, perhaps you too will be engaging in sciamachy with the rest of the smatchets. [Image of George Dubya and his pals]

MEDIUM CLOSE

Ze: Assholes! ("assholes" in Latin?)

CeruleanNinja 13:23, 17 June 2006 (PDT)

The Ken Burns Effect?

Ze should most definitely begin the show with a variation on the "Ze Frank Effect" (with a tree that looks like a crotch and TONS of lightning) ending with a Sports Racer logo. Possibly some cheesy "breaking news" style music.

Ze and his kitty

I like the cat idea but I think that we can take that a bit further. This may have to be shortened depending upon the time spent on each picture

Ze: (Close up, with frusteration) My kitty has been a real hard charger for attention lately. (Normal zoom, Excited now) So I decided to make my kitty happy by giving it a DOUCHE.

(CUT TO, Cat in Tub)

Ze: Then I dried my kitty off.

(CUT TO, Towel Cat)

Ze: (Normal zoom) But I didn’t end stop there, my kitty was wrinkled so I needed to iron it.

(CUT TO, Cat Iron)

Ze: (Close up, softly) Now my kitty was ready for some banana.

(Close up, Ze can hardly contain his laughter)

(CUT TO, Cat Bananas )

Ze: That made my kitty very happy. (Close up of Ze, licking hand cleaning himself, whilst purring feverously)

Ideas by: SportsRacers
Written by: PlazmaFox 13:16, 15 June 2006 (PDT)

  • Good work, nice pics! It's a bit vulgar though, and I wonder if it would be more subtle with the word CAT used instead of PUSSY? --Gelbi 15:28, 15 June 2006 (PDT)
  • I agree with Gelbi. Besides, vulgarity doesn't work well when someone tells you to say it. What makes it funny, IMO, is when it is spontaneous, otherwise it sounds lewd and unintelligent then it just seems to fall flat.
  • Thirded, use 'cat' or 'kitty' instead. :) Awesomely cute cat pictures! CeruleanNinja 02:25, 16 June 2006 (PDT)
  • Updated 12:46, 16 June 2006 (PDT) : PlazmaFox

Winding up - winding down

film - skeleton short sketch, ze has to make these common tasks interesting or funny.

winding up - 12 secs. in the life of zefrank - waking up, yawing, unbuttoning the top button of his jamies, brush teeth, flush toilet, eating breakfast, drinking coffee, typing on the computer, eating lunch, putting his coat or cap on walking out the door.

-winding down 12 secs. in the life of zefrank - walking in the door taking off his coat or hanging up his cap, eating dinner, typing on the computer, drinking coffee, flush toilet, brush teeth, buttoning the top button of his jammies, yawning, falling asleep.

  • He can film these tasks in regular speed then tie them together and fast forward.
  • Chop them up into three short frames for each task. "Here is how my day went."
  • Move some tasks fast, some slow.
  • Take one task, like eating a sandwich, film the whole process in regular speed then zip through it in 15 seconds.
  • Same as above, but setting the film at regular speed while he picks something caught in his teeth with his tongue, once sucessfull speed the film up again. How ever he would like to approach this idea, as long as it is a common task and is completed in 15 seconds.
  • Same idea only in panic mode for any number of scenarios.

ARE THE NEW VIEWERS GONE YET?

Talk to me, just me

I would like ze to spend 15 to 30 seconds just talking to me. Really. He can give me a tour of the web page and what it has to offer. (draft)(points left) "Hello, and welcome to The Show. I hope you enjoy your stay. Look around... see there are the google ads, click those." (points right) “Over there are the meaningless products, buy some of those.” (points down) “If you look below, there are a bunch of comments which I often read on the show. Read those, if you dare!” (points left down)“This week there's a link to the earth sandwich, eat that.” (points up) "Up there are the archives, watch all of those while you wear the t-shit, eat the sandwich and click on the google ads.” (whisper) “Are the new viewers gone yet?”

  • could have a scroll at the bottom for the hearing impaired. This could say something entirly different, perhaps what he's really thinking....
  • shoot, i had the same idea, but you beat me to it (tour of the page, pointing around). i thought it would be for new viewers, but now that the page has changed, old viewers (like me: one-and-a-half weeks!) could use a tour too. can we leave it up to ze what to say? he's way funnier. but maybe that's not in the spirit of fabuloso friday 2.

A moment for ze

in response to the increasing demand placed on ze that he be 'always on' and entertaining - a trend that I sense is taking it's toll on our favorite dancing monkey - I propose we give ze 15 seconds to relax. Just relax. crack a crispy stella. flip through a magazine. do it for ze.

  • very nice, I love it. seems like the tyke has had a rough week.
  • Great idea, take it easy, have some coffee... not to make a starbucks product placement, just to relax! --Gelbi 15:36, 15 June 2006 (PDT)
  • This is the best idea yet. Especially since Ze has done so much to entertain us and let us relax (only recently with The Show, but with the rest of his site for yeeeears)
  • I like the base concept behind this one, too. Unfortunately it doesn't make for great video. Here's a thought: give Ze 15 seconds to do anything he wants with a promise of no reprisals from the audience. No snarky comments, in fact we promise to never mention it ever, anywhere ... no matter what. (Of course we fail, but that can be entertainment and a mythology unto itself.) muyfabulosotalk 21:09, 15 June 2006 (PDT)
  • Haha, very nice. This should be the first 15 seconds of the show, followed by "are the new viewers gone yet?"
  • Absolutely! Don't forget to sip the starbucks.
  • Suggestion: Stream a series of 3 statements at the bottom of the screen, each lasting 5 seconds:
1. "This moment brought to you by the Friday Fabulosos"
2. "This was all they could afford (assholes)"
3. "Are the new viewers gone yet?"
(Or some sort of variation on these lines...)

Internet Neutrality

Time for me to tell all of you to do something about Internet Neutrality, or you sportsracers might not see me for much longer! If telecommunication companies get their way, I might have to start paying them to put my show on the web, and if I don't have enough money, I'll be long gone! Go check out www.savetheinternet.com for more information! And tell your friends, because this is incredibly important and eveyone needs to know!

  • this is important but really boring and you are a bad person for suggesting it
  • Come up with something better, then, because if you want sites like this to still exist in a couple years something needs to get done now. ThinkBig
  • excellent comment, excellent and true
  • Yes, pushing political agendas should at least be funny. Or pretend to be funny. Or something. "Some big companies want to charge other, smaller companies two or three times for the use of The Internet. [Different Angle] Or as I like to say, La Internet Grande! [Normal view] A lot of you don't like paying at all for the Internet. [Closeup, whispering a la "are the new viewers gone yet?"] Are you out of your parent's basement yet? [Normal view] So the League of Awesomeness wants you to go out and [fingerquote] "Neutralize" the Internet. [Shot of Ze looking manic, threatening to cut an ethernet cable with a pair of scissors.]" - From boring PSA to Exciting Mandate from the League of Awesomeness! Thenomain
  • In the future you will need a literacy license to drive on the information super highway. You will have to pass a driver's test which will be comprised of all the shit you shoulda learned in High School English Class. Failing that you will be remanded to dial-up Hell, slow downloads (ooooo), and no firewalls. Bet you'll learn English now dumbshit! Ze could explain this concept vvveeerrryyy sslloowwllyy and then whip out his English for Dummies course available for S and H only!

omg

CRAZY DANCE PARTY

THEN READ CHUCK NORRIS JOKES WITH YOUR NAME INSTEAD. ex:

"Ze beat terri schiavo in a starring contest"

  • Don't wanna sound like a spelling hard charger, but do you mean "staring" contest? (GS)
  • Terri Schiavo reference isn't on, she was unwell and her demise was most unpleasant. To make fun of her is cruel. CeruleanNinja
Agreed.

Ze Shooter

This would work best if it is the first segment.

Ze does as many shots of liquor he can in 15 seconds counting out loud for each one.

Do it as the last segment, and Ze does the whole show while drinking and puts the clips in reverse order, so he gets soberer and soberer.
 :D While this is an interesting idea, I shall dare to say that after Friday the 16th Show, this has positively, absolutely and conclusively been done. Nothing could possibly eclipse this uniquely inebriated moment. CeruleanNinja 08:57, 16 June 2006 (PDT)

The Show: Reverse ze-ology

Could we write a snippet that is almost as witty and intelligent as Ze's usual news commentary, but defending bush's policy or something like intelligent design or scientology?? This is a challange to all hard chargers out there... I doubt anyone will respond, but let's see...

a non-hardcharger will give it a shot:

"This week our president, George W. Bush [5] seen here showing the democrats who's boss, had to once again defend America's honor against the tyrannous liberal left. He made point to discuss the beauty of nature as he named a small archipelago off the coast of Hawaii a national monument. In response Al Gore, seen here contributing to global warming [6] said, "AAAARRRRRRRGHGHHGHHHH I SHOULD BE PRESIDENT."

Asshole." - kylejbritt.com

COMMENTS:

  • i think the Al gore line is what's missing here... anyone care to propose different Al Gore lines?
  • I like it.
  • I'm not sold on this one.. there's something missing
  • Very good try, not quite from the heart, but it's not bad... Maybe a better Gore line would be useful, but I wonder how Ze would interpret "AAAAAAAAAAARRGHGHGH" :) --Gelbi 09:32, 18 June 2006 (PDT)

Bird Flu Dance

Ze, since many of us first got to know you back when you posted clips of hilarious dance moves (like, I dunno, a hunnert innernet years ago?), I think a Dance Party reprise is long overdue. I don't think it is bad form to dip back into the Well of Goodness that is the Ze Frank Compendium.

Create one new dance every few weeks, or a surprise one every now and then, and have people submit their dances, just as they did with their power moves(TM?).

For this week, I nominate the Bird Flu Dance. Go to YouTube, learn a few of the basic Bird Flu Dance moves, and then perform the following:

[Ze close up:]

"Avian influenza is an infection that occurs naturally among wild birds, who carry the viruses in their intestines, but usually do not get sick from them. However, when the wild and freaky birds mix with weak, domesticated birds, bad things can happen [Voice:off:"Like what Ze?"], uh, like massive bird death, or repeated requests for the Funky Chicken at your nephew's Bar Mitzvah...."

[fast zoom out, Ze busts into Bird Flu Dance, Ze dances for about 10 seconds, Ze finishes writhing on the floor, camera pans in to Ze's face, which is lying flat on the carpet]

"No one can predict when a bird flu pandemic might occur...but at least you'll never have to do the Funky Chicken again...Seriously Sports Racers, it's wedding season, learn the damn dance, you'll be a hero, you have the Ze Frank Guarantee." [End]

While I certainly appreciate your wacktard sense of humor, I think your talents as a physical comedian have gone neglected for too long.

Some more suggestions for later on:

  • World Cup Dance (cuz literally everyone is doing it these days)
  • Face Dance: dance consisting of only Ze facial expressions, culled from your Compendium)
  • Commemorative Earth Sandwich Dance (cuz like, its a first man, and you could simulate being the bread making sweet love to the earth)

Other people's comments:

  • Excellent! --Gelbi 18:18, 15 June 2006 (PDT)

Hawaiian fire

He wears a hawaiian shirt for the first half minute or so, then at random (during this 15 second clip) he performs a seated power move that changes his hawaiian shirt to a normal shirt, and transports a burning hawaiian shirt in the background of where he is sitting. It could remain there seen later as charred remains. 68.6.101.96 21:16, 15 June 2006 (PDT)

Ze haiku

moved here due to popularity

Fundamental Fundamentalist Crazies

Ze quotes Jerry Falwell then analizes the quote. Jerry Falwell is funny as hell cause he is such a little twit already. This would work for Pat Robertson, the double speaking Hillary Rod-your-ham Clinton or any other political/religious hardcharger; left or right.

Movie Reviews..rented or theatre

15 second movie reviews. This could easily be a winner

  • Awesome idea! How about reviewing Nacho Libre, which is released this Friday (in teh USofA). Jack Black. In a cape. Doesn't it scream Power Move to you? Schamaun, peoples! :D CeruleanNinja 00:33, 16 June 2006 (PDT)

I dig it. But let's do non-new releases. Movies that are GOOD and have stood the test of time. Like Rear Window, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, Or something equally bad ass.

Poop

Poop, poop, poop, poop.

  • YES!

The RIAA

The RIAA is now issuing Cease-and-Desist orders to children who post videos of themselves dancing to music on YouTube (http://suicidegirls.com/news/geek/16727/). <insert Ze's commentary here> ASSHOLES! (of course)

Confusing Ads

[Ze confused and cranky.]

MEDIUM [high angle]

Ze: Advertising is confusing.

MEDIUM CLOSE

Ze: They shout at you using overblown promises like...

EXTREME CU [Hyper hard-charger.]

Ze: "All your wildest dreams WILL come true!"

MEDIUM CLOSE

Ze: Which usually translates to crappy travel vouchers to places I don’t even wanna visit.

LONG SHOT [Ze dressed in his travel-garb. Shorts and cap and all.]

Ze: Ten dollars off to Washington? Dang!

CeruleanNinja 04:24, 16 June 2006 (PDT)

Sloganism

CLOSE UP

Ze: Holy contradictorific slogans!

MEDIUM

Ze: Upon the release of their new car, Peugeot declared that...

EXTREME CU [Serious hard-charger.]

Ze: "Playtime is over."

MEDIUM

Ze: To which Renault replied with...

EXTREME CU

Ze: "Grow up? What for?"

MEDIUM CLOSE [A series of shots, one for each 'instruction'.]

Ze: So, is it… go, or stay? Sit or get up?

Ze: Sit? Get Up? Or is it just plain Suck and Blo... CUT

Alternative punchline suggestions? CeruleanNinja 13:12, 16 June 2006 (PDT)

Taking it to the street

Ze approaches people on the street of his choice and gets replies to the question: "What's something you like that's gay?"

We see/hear Ze ask the question, then get a tightly cut series of "Essence of replies" from different people.

  • hey, I really like this idea, as long as he doesn't get punched.

Ze explains the best way to set up a MySpace page

Ze talks us quickly through was information simply has to go on a myspace page, and what he hopes to achieve by doing so. Preferrably in a valley girl accent, and hopefully involving actually setting up a myspace page. -des-

Ze tracker! Tracking Power Moves Around the Globe!

With all his travelling, how about a Ze Tracker like the Santa Trackers local news outlets do at Christmas? He could get talking heads from Norad on saying all the reasons that they won't spend our tax dollars on humoring the request, so instead Ze could make his own out of some low-rent comp graphics, a cardboard silhouette of his face and a swizzel-stick he brought from the airplane.

Bring back "Tired Friday" show

This segment ONLY applies if Ze has not brought back the mysterious missing "Tired Friday" show from 6/16/06. If he doesn't, and if everybody votes for this segment, then he *HAS* to bring it back.

1. [spend 14 seconds in front of the computer restoring "Tired Friday"]

2. Ze: [fake-mad face, looking at camera] There! Are you satisfied?

3. [Ze leaves "Tired Friday" enabled in the archives for the forseeable future]

(I moved step 4 to the magic dumpster --Sford 18:29, 16 June 2006 (PDT))

Play Chess with Ze

(requires a chessboard)

A set-up chessboard is set between Ze and the camera. Ze is playing white.

Ze: Let's play a game of chess!

Ze moves a white pawn forward.

Ze: Your move!

Ze smiles expectantly at the camera for the remaining time.

Kazz 14:40, 17 June 2006 (PDT)

  • Lol, simple but cute. :) CeruleanNinja 15:28, 18 June 2006 (PDT)

Play Chess with Ze... Reprise

(This could be the other half of a sandwich?...)

Ze: S-s-s-something from the meta-email!

[reads]

Ze: PinkGoosie writes: 'Chess sucks, Ze. We should totally play Snakes & Ladders or Crosses & Naughts, instead.'

[Ze casts a disappointed look at the camera, and shakes his head in dismay.]

CeruleanNinja 15:59, 17 June 2006 (PDT)

Green Ze

This might truly be an outdated idea, but how about having a lil' Environmental awareness segment? [7] Japan says 'let's regulate commercial whaling', the environmentalists see this 'leading to an expansion of hunting'. There's the issue of 'scientific whaling', which, it's been said, is a loophole to be exploited. ...WHICH leads us neatly to the section entitled Movie Reviews..rented or theatre, in which Ze reviews Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home. PERFECT! :D *big cheesy grin* CeruleanNinja 15:52, 17 June 2006 (PDT)

Ze press conference

Alright, a bit like the brainstorming, except a press conference or interview with Bobo twins style journalists. So we either hear some mumbling or just silence and then Ze goes "The questions was" or "so, how do I deal with my recent success...

So, please go ahead and write possible questions and answers here... or maybe we can leave the answers to Ze:

  • Babies instinctively respond by staring at people who smile at them. Why do you call them assholes?
  • What is the purpose of forming an earth sandwitch, wouldn't sending the food to starving children be a better use of the Earth's sandwitch resources?
  • What is the nutritional value of an Earth sandwich?

Teenage Justice

So, it looks like the Supreme Court in its infinite wisdom has granted police all the powers of teenagers. This last Friday the Supreme Court struck down the law which requires the police to knock on your door before entering. No more, Knock, Knock, it's the police, open the door. They will simply be able to walk in. Now how is that so different from what teenagers do now? My teens NEVER knock. They just walk in, look around for whatever isn't glued down, in terms of food or cash, grab and leave. So now in addition to the teenagers waltzing through the house at random we will now have local law enforcement doing the same. My advice....have plenty of doughnuts and coffee on hand 'cause just like the teenagers, once the cops are full, they'll leave.

In the show teenagers and police can come and go and each visitor removes something from the set until it is a bare set leaving Ze sitting in his chair on a bare set. His final line is...."and this is Democracy in Action!" Or in the absence of enough actors things could just disappear.

Dirty Space News! (Kinda)

[close up]

Ze: [with lewd grin] Dirty Space News!

[medium close up]

Ze: [professional detachment] On Monday, Uranus went retrograde, making it appear to move backwards along its orbit. This will continue until November but really doesn't matter to anyone except astrologists and geocentrists. when the Democrats retake the house and things start moving forward again.

Ze: [looking off camera, puzzled expression] How is that dirty? [beat]. Oh. Ooohhhhhhhh.

[close up]

Ze: [looking into camera] You people are sick.

[extreme close up]

Ze: [giggles] Uranus. Heh. [angry] Bobo Twins!

COMMENTS:

  • There is nothing dirty about Uranus (I hope) and it's so overused (now that's dirty). So this needs a twist! --Gelbi 09:18, 18 June 2006 (PDT)
  • I fixed up the Uranus news, I think. I also don't think "Oh" or "You people are sick" have any place in it if my line is used so I went ahead and italicized all that. Because I am smart. Kazz 14:47, 18 June 2006 (PDT)
  • This is looking nice, although we do seem to need a linking line between How is that dirty and Bobo Twins!. Any suggestions? CeruleanNinja 15:25, 18 June 2006 (PDT)

Nothing

out of nowhere, closeup on ze's cheek. ze: (quickly) my skin is made of super duper small legos blocks.

later in the shows zoom back up on his cheeck

ze: LEGOS!!

15 SECONDS (give or take a few)

1, one thousand 2, one thousand 3, one thousand 4, one thousand 5, one thousand 6, one thousand 7, one thousand 8, one thousand 9, one thousand 10, one thousand 11, one thousand 12, one thousand 13, one thousand 14, one thousand 15, one thousand . Are The New Viewers Gone yet?

Video Game

Splice 3 sec random shots here and there of ze playing a video game. Camera is behind his shoulder you can only see part of the computer screen. Dragged out could also be are the new viewes gone yet?

  • Killing the bad guys - "die die die"
  • End of Game losing - "Ahhhh! Man! shit!"
  • Plays atheist and makes the guy keep walking off the edge - "giggles."
  • Watch him plays solitaire -"clicking mouse."

S-s-s-something for the Newbies

[Delivered rapid-fire, interspersed with screenshots of comments page]

With all of the recent exposure new viewers are showing up every day. Eager, fresh-faced future Sports Racers thirsty for knowledge and vying for a position in the League of Awesomeness. They don’t have Power Moves yet, they don’t yet know how to identify a Hard Charger. They may or may not have an opinion about duckies.

What they do have, however, are a lot of questions and a lot of suggestions. “Hey Ze, don’t you like Republicans?” “Hey Ze, I don’t like the songs.” “Hey Ze, what’s the deal with giant babies?’”

So here’s a tip for the newly initiated: sit back, give it a week, and all will become clear. Asking “What’s that mean?” after watching one episode is like coming in halfway through a season of 24 and asking “Why’s the older brother form Lost Boys threatening that lady from Designing Women?”

ze carrraaazy media

  • ze holding up the NYT article snickers and giggles at the camera like a crazed madman.
  • while talking about other issues the resent ze media keeps sneaking into the show super imposed and floating.
  • you can see the google video and NYT playing in the back ground while he's talking about another topic.
  • flashes to a news story and the NYT article while he's talking about Bush
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