Talk:Fabuloso Friday 2/Fabuloso Chess/Anti-intellectualism

From zefrank

Bring in Bobby Fischer to kick eveyones ass.

Replace Ze's pawns with little marshmallow duckies.

May I suggest the possiblity that sport racers don't play chess? I think that we should just pull out a kick-ass powermove on Ze's King, and steal his queen and rooks. Ohhhhh Yeah

(Seriously, who expects a collarborative chess game to go well? It's nice that Ze's building up the social movement thingamabob, but what the hell?)

Esmaul: Even though you can't play chess, there are people here who can. Leave it to them. Post Script

  I don't know how to play chess, but your suggestion of a powermove to steal
a King is offensive, the whole point of chess is the King is never taken.  I
don't have a sense of humor when it comes to chess insults.

Contents 1 Power Moves 2 Hard Charging Moves 3 LOA Chess 4 Ingenious comic twists...

Power Moves

• I'm rather dissapointed at these so called "power moves" I was expecting videos. My idea- Powermove video that turns chess pieces into checkers.
• Yell "AIR STRIKE!" and smash all of Ze's pieces off the board
• bring some red pieces and move 'em in from the side
• Swipe board with hand. Run away crying.
• There's no algebraic notation for throwing the board in frustration
• GO FABULOSOS!
• I'm only playing if it's STRIP chess.
• Get up to pee and accidentally topple board.

• Better yet, pee on the board!

• Crush the King with a giant duckie.
• KING lightning bolts Ze's QUEEN zap! -adam
• Nuke the board -seth
• Everyone jumps the queen!!!!1 -squeedo
• Make a chess sandwich. Fold the board.
• Umbrella stand to queen's artichoke 5.
• Distract Ze with a giant baby and steal all of his pawns
• spin 360 degrees and castle
• make Ze blink (gasp) and remove his king at that precise moment
• We do not recognize the right to royalty of Ze's king and therefore our king shall not play chess with a mere pawn that is trying to pass himself pass as a king. Checkmate.
• Smash Ze's king with an hammer and a sickle. Communism beats Royalty.
• Harry Potter joins the Fabulosos
• offer draw
• Spin the board 90 degrees and just start punching
• Eat a buritto, move the pieces when he goes to open the window
• Win.
  • sometimes best way to win is to avoid the battle so just take all our pieces and leave... ...and never come back... ...or anywhere else... ...ever (-; keep our "little army" safe at home for change ;-)
• Get any one of your pieces to the other end of the board and yell, "KING ME!"
• Replace pieces with checkers.

• Actually, just supposing we get into a hopeless position, we could replace the board with a board set up for checkers, late in the game, with us clearly winning!

• Ask a ninja
• Do...something
• State that this game is now being played by DUCKIE rules which, we all know, allows the team with the largest amount of duckies to win...US against ZE? We WIN....quack!
• (Tur)Durkin Opening: 1.Na3 [1] - Ann 18:06, 24 June 2006 (PDT) (Moved here from the geek corner by Disso 01:49, 25 June 2006 (PDT))
• Tofurkey opening: Throw 5 pounds of bean curd on the board, shape it into a duckie, and sing Wagner's "Flight of the Valkyries"
• wave a letter from citibank in front of ze's face that states we've just been approved for a $100k worth of credit and have to go pick it up, now.
• don't suck.
• Each time you take one of Ze's pieces, place in your mouth and spit it at him as hard as possible.
• I don't like the spitting part, but it would be a little creepy if every time ze took one of your guyz, you'd grabbed it first, then put it in your mouth, licked it thoroughly then handed it back to him and said, "Here!" (or the other way round).
  • Oh! I see where you're going with this! It's the old "But I already licked it" defence! Well played, sir!
• turn it into "travel chess" by covering the board and pieces with sticky-licious chocolate syrup--ze's moves must be "on the move"
• Make him forfeit on Fabuloso Friday.

Hard Charging Moves

• Complain that neither the board, pieces, or game itself have been approved by any international chess organization (as the LOA is clearly a universal entity), then refuse to play on the grounds that it will negatively affect your chess rating. - thebreadline
• Let's lose on purpose as quickly as possible. -thejackhook
• Grab all his pawns while he's not looking and hide them, and when he asks where they are, tell him if any of our pieces are threatened, we are allowed to do whatever we want under the new 'Patriot Move'.
• The game of chess suggests that awesomeness can be confined to mere three dimensional time-space and such a condition will inadvertently hinder my complex strategy. Further, the petroleum based plastic pieces contribute to global warming and big oil, who, in a recent government contract, currently gained ownership of every third male child named Bob. – ZeRyan
• Screw it. Tell the LOA we do not give a darn & forget it. Not that I'm a hard charger.
• Pick up the board (careful not to move any of the pieces. Find a Delta customer service rep and insert the board (pieces and all) into any available orifice! Then we all win!
• Neither confirm nor deny any such moves whatsoever. -angry
• Claim that Ze's king is Fidel Castro, and as such you cannot play with him.
• Vote on 2 moves, then figure a really bad but plausible move for Ze (between our 2), move twice, and convince him that it's a day later than it really is (replace his newspaper, hack his e-mail date recieved, etc. ) and he must have 'forgotten' that he moved (and funny thing, we can't find the video either)

LOA Chess

While it could get fairly meta, i think we should first establish what the actual board pieces are and how they should move. Yes, you may scoff at this suggestion by saying that Chess is a standardized game but that sounds like a hard charger argument that should not affect LOA Chess. As a start i would think that the following pieces should be changed:

• King = President

• Queen = Vice President

This seems to more accurately represent the current power in the world. Other possible pieces are:

• King Side Bishop = First Lady

• King Side Knight = The Blair

• Queen side bishop = Catholic Priest. automatically takes any piece it's behind due to it's "molest" ability.

• Name some piece Intelligent Designist; he can move wherever he wants that's not in another piece's square, because if you tell him where he can and can't move, you're restricting alternate methods of thinking.

I think the White Pawns should be renamed collectively as the Fear Troops with their primary role being the spreading of terror.

In order to provide some verisimiltude, it would be good if we could have some pieces that were able to change sides subject to need: The Saddam and The Osama spring to mind. Zube

• Surely by electing the King as President the piece would then be able to pass a new law that would veto the right of any other piece to move only the pre-determined number of spaces, thus freeing up the whole board for all pieces on the president's side, and potentially allowing the pieces to occupy neighbouring boards or boards in other chess clubs without the backing of the UN - Disko

• LoL .. damnit Disko .. that makes sense in a creepy sort of way .. but it's too early in the morning for theories that dramatic.  :-) .. ßrigade^rant 09:24, 7 July 2006 (PDT)

Ingenious comic twists...

Actually the power moves are quite ingenious too... The section titles are all quite arbitrary :)

• Bring in a Duckie Pawn which is invincible, and can go anywhere in the field (as suggested by CeruleanNinja in the discussion....)
• d4 Pawn Phase shift (see image)
• Bring in PacMan
• e8 to Underneath the Living Room Chair, or alternately, d7 to Cat's Litterbox.
• with every move duplicate the game in progress, and continue the growing number of games independent of one another...unless you're not up to it ze.
• Alternately, move d7 to some part in the show And thus challenge Ze in true fabuloso style.
• I liked that one Polish move where the black queen ran through the board and took out about a half-dozen pawns before obliterating white's queen.

• Actually .. it's the Elbonian Sportinski Kozimov Hard Charging Opener Blitzkrieg .. suggested by medwards^talk

• Mimic Ze's every move for three turns (if possible, else nearest move that doesnt give him an obvious advantage) and after the three copied moved blame Ze of copying. FROM THE FUTURE.