Talk:Fabuloso Friday 2/Fabuloso Chess/Anti-intellectualism

From zefrank

May I suggest the possiblity that sport racers don't play chess? I think that we should just pull out a kick-ass powermove on Ze's King, and steal his queen and rooks. Ohhhhh Yeah

(Seriously, who expects a collarborative chess game to go well? It's nice that Ze's building up the social movement thingamabob, but what the hell?)

Contents 1 Power Moves 2 Hard Charging Moves 3 LOA Chess 4 Ingenious comic twists...

Power Moves

• bring some red pieces and move 'em in from the side
• Swipe board with hand. Run away crying.
• There's no algebraic notation for throwing the board in frustration
• GO FABULOSOS!
• I'm only playing if it's STRIP chess.
• Get up to pee and accidentally topple board.

• Better yet, pee on the board!

• Crush the King with a giant duckie.
• KING lightning bolts Ze's QUEEN zap! -adam
• Nuke the board -seth
• Everyone jumps the queen!!!!1 -squeedo
• Make a chess sandwich. Fold the board.
• Umbrella stand to queen's artichoke 5.
• Distract Ze with a giant baby and steal all of his pawns
• spin 360 degrees and castle
• make Ze blink (gasp) and remove his king at that precise moment
• We do not recognize the right to royalty of Ze's king and therefore our king shall not play chess with a mere pawn that is trying to pass himself pass as a king. Checkmate.
• Smash Ze's king with an hammer and a sickle. Communism beats Royalty.
• Harry Potter joins the Fabulosos
• offer draw
• Spin the board 90 degrees and just start punching
• Eat a buritto, move the pieces when he goes to open the window
• Win.
• Get any one of your pieces to the other end of the board and yell, "KING ME!"
• Replace pieces with checkers.
• Ask a ninja
• Do...something
• State that this game is now being played by DUCKIE rules which, we all know, allows the team with the largest amount of duckies to win...US against ZE? We WIN....quack!
• (Tur)Durkin Opening: 1.Na3 [1] - Ann 18:06, 24 June 2006 (PDT) (Moved here from the geek corner by Disso 01:49, 25 June 2006 (PDT))
• wave a letter from citibank in front of ze's face that states we've just been approved for a $100k worth of credit and have to go pick it up, now.
• don't suck.
• Each time you take one of Ze's pieces, place in your mouth and spit it at him as hard as possible.
• I don't like the spitting part, but it would be a little creepy if every time ze took one of your guyz, you'd grabbed it first, then put it in your mouth, licked it thoroughly then handed it back to him and said, "Here!" (or the other way round).
• turn it into "travel chess" by covering the board and pieces with sticky-licious chocolate syrup--ze's moves must be "on the move"

Hard Charging Moves

• Complain that neither the board, pieces, or game itself have been approved by any international chess organization (as the LOA is clearly a universal entity), then refuse to play on the grounds that it will negatively affect your chess rating. - thebreadline
• Let's lose on purpose as quickly as possible. -thejackhook
• Grab all his pawns while he's not looking and hide them, and when he asks where they are, tell him if any of our pieces are threatened, we are allowed to do whatever we want under the new 'Patriot Move'.
• The game of chess suggests that awesomeness can be confined to mere three dimensional time-space and such a condition will inadvertently hinder my complex strategy. Further, the petroleum based plastic pieces contribute to global warming and big oil, who, in a recent government contract, currently gained ownership of every third male child named Bob. – ZeRyan
• Screw it. Tell the LOA we do not give a darn & forget it. Not that I'm a hard charger.
• Pick up the board (careful not to move any of the pieces. Find a Delta customer service rep and insert the board (pieces and all) into any available orifice! Then we all win!
• Neither confirm nor deny any such moves whatsoever. -angry
• Claim that Ze's king is Fidel Castro, and as such you cannot play with him.

LOA Chess

While it could get fairly meta, i think we should first establish what the actual board pieces are and how they should move. Yes, you may scoff at this suggestion by saying that Chess is a standardized game but that sounds like a hard charger argument that should not affect LOA Chess. As a start i would think that the following pieces should be changed:

• King = President

• Queen = Vice President

This seems to more accurately represent the current power in the world. Other possible pieces are:

• King Side Bishop = First Lady

• King Side Knight = The Blair

I think the White Pawns should be renamed collectively as the Fear Troops with their primary role being the spreading of terror.

In order to provide some verisimiltude, it would be good if we could have some pieces that were able to change sides subject to need: The Saddam and The Osama spring to mind. Zube

Ingenious comic twists...

Actually the power moves are quite ingenious too... The section titles are all quite arbitrary :)

• Bring in a Duckie Pawn which is invincible, and can go anywhere in the field (as suggested by CeruleanNinja in the discussion....)
• d4 Pawn Phase shift (see image)
• Bring in PacMan
• e8 to Underneath the Living Room Chair, or alternately, d7 to Cat's Litterbox.
• with every move duplicate the game in progress, and continue the growing number of games independent of one another...unless you're not up to it ze.