the show: 02-27-07

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[Intro by four people in a restaurant, standing in front of a mirror with a camera] Action. Good afternoon Sports Racers, from Chinatown this is The Show with Ze Frank.

[Ze:] Hi there, Sports Racers. Today I seem to have a bit of a tummy problem.

It appears to be exacting its revenge on me for using it as a garbage disposal.

And I thought we had an agreement.

We leave each other alone.

[Burps] Uhm.

In any case, today is a travel day, and I feel sorry for the persons who have to sit next to me and watch me try and fashion a diaper out of the vomit bag.

Beyond this one, there is one more travel day before the end of The Show, and it's insurmountable.

Perhaps you can help me.

On March 13th I'll hand The Show over to you for a day.

Up until Sunday the 11th I'll be collecting short clips from you.

Your clips can be up to 15 seconds long. And you can submit them by emailing them to

Try to keep them under a couple megabytes.

Remember you'll be speaking to all the other Sports Racers, not just to me.

These shouldn't be advertisements or things that you've made in the past.

They're messages from yous to us. Wisdoms, goodbyes, sillies, whatever. But make it from you. Yes, yes.

I'll string them together and the resulting movie will be as long is it has to be.

It'll be nice to see your faces all in one place. [blinks into the camera]

And there's another bit of housekeeping I'll impart to you between bathroom breaks.

The power move quack attack has begun. Over the past few weeks sports ravers have submitted their power moves to the ORG.

In order to hone them, to train them, they will be pitted against one another. Using chess ranking algorithms and other such magic nerd fairy dust, your votes will determine the 16 power moves that let the most awesome out. And then the final showdown will begin.

Third bit of housekeeping: in case you're wondering, tomorrow I'm going to be delivering a certain something to a certain someone.

Here's a hint.

[Black screen, Ray's voice from the off] You might not be able to sing that out loud, but you can hum it to yourself.

Oh yeah. And now how to make pankeggs.

[Footage of Ze pouring flour, eggs, and milk into a bowl] Pankeggs begin just like regular pancakes. I use a mix, because I was raised by hippies. And Aunt Jemima still has a certain novelty to it.

[Footage of stove with a pan] Put a little oil in the pan, but make sure you add some butter. That's where the flavor is. Coat it, and then pour yourself a nice, big pancake. Now watch it. See those tiny little holes? Those a bonding holes, and they have a purpose. As soon as you see enough bonding holes, pick the pancake up [cracks an egg into the pan] and crack an egg under it. Flip the pancake over so that the bonding holes come in contact with the egg. To properly bind your pankegg, you might have to give it a pat or two. [Pats the pankegg, and some of the egg squirts from under the pancake. Ze in high pitched voice:] Ooops! It's okay if that happens. Wait a couple minutes and then clear off anything that doesn't look like a pankegg. If you did it right, your egg will have fused right into the bonding holes.

[Footage of Ze flaunting the pankegg in his hands, speaking from off] The result: neither a pancake nor an egg, a pankegg.

[Shot of a half pankegg on a plate with egg oozing out] And just look at the oozy, oozy middle.

[Black screen with text: "ST.LOUIS -- HERE I COME."]

This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Thanks for the Thinking. -Broose

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-4.gif    Happy birthday, Hair-Mike!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-1.gif    MAN DUCKS ARE COOL

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-4.gif    Now that's some fruit! Love ya Steve F-A

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