the show: 08-03-06

From zefrank

Transcript

Good morning Sports Racers. It's Thursday, August 3rd.

What's going on? What's up? Talk to me. I feel like we haven't spent enough time together recently. So it's Something-From-the-Comments Day. S-s-s-something from the Comments.

First Comment: Sugar Tits Song

Cleo writes, "Ze, why isn't there a Sugar Tits song? Every breakfast cereal needs a catchy tune."

Cleo, of course there's a Sugar Tits song. Any Sports Racer could sing it to you. I'm sure some Sports Racer out there somewhere will be kind enough to upload it to the Gallery. Mmm? Mmm?

But more importantly, I don't think a lot of people out there know your theme song.

(Song)

Cleo took a walk in the neighborhood park

Met up with Bear just after dark

Bear said, "Cleo, where you going with the hula hoop?"

Cleo said "Bear, where you going with the gun?"

So little, little Duckie put them both in the freezer

And little, little Cleo's nose started to run

Said who likes the little, little duckies in the pond?

I do, I do, I do, a-chicka quack quack

Who likes the little, little duckies in the pond?

I do, I do, I do, a-chicka quack quack

Cleo took a pony ride just the other day

The pony stopped short, started eating some hay

Cleo had some bubble gum, the pony really wanted some

Little, little Duckie just started to say

Who likes the little, little duckies in the pond?

I do, I do, I do, a-chicka quack quack

Who likes the little, little duckies in the pond?

I do, I do, I do, a-chicka quack

Remember, Cleo, if people get pissed off that you're playing your song instead of talking about the news, just tell them to screw off under your breath. That's what I do.

Second Comment: Tony Snow's Crystal Ball

Dil Dil H writes, "Ze, is this the beginning of World War Three?" You know, it's funny. White House Press Secretary Tony Snow was just asked a similar question yesterday. When asked whether he thought the current war would widen to Iran, Syria, and others, Tony Snow said, "I'm not going to predict; I don't have the crystal ball." Nah--Not a crystal ball, the Crystal Ball. The White House appears to have lost its crystal ball! Not having the crystal ball makes it hard to predict what's going to happen in Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Lebanon, Israel, Syria, and North Korea. But Tony did have some assurances: Snow said that the US and others were joining together in a commitment to find quote "peaceful methods for dealing with very vexing and difficult causes of these problems." Peaceful methods for dealing, or PMDs, are proving to be difficult to find. The administration, however, stands by its resolve to find them by any means neccessary.