the show: 10-25-06

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the show: 10-24-06 | watch this show | the show: 10-26-06
digital life

list of all transcripts | list of incomplete transcripts


Transcript

American guy riding an escalator in Hong Kong

Ze (singing): Um, one of these kids is not like the other.

(American guy riding an escalator, smiles): Hello.

Ze (singing): Um, one of these kids is doing his own thing.

American Guy: Live from the Hong Kong subway, good afternoon, Sports Racers. It's the show.

Ze: You're, like, different.

(looking down): Check it out! A bling ducky.

Senior State Department diplomat Alberto Fernandez, seen here saying (sung in an operatic voice) LAAAAAYYYY!, apologized on Sunday for remarks he made on the Al Jazeera Network. Speaking about how history will judge the war in Iraq he said "(opera voice) LAAAAAYYYY! There is an big possibility for extreme criticism and because, undoubtedly, there was arrogance and stupidity from the United States in Iraq."

Fernandez's apology came a day after he defended his statements to CNN saying "(opera voice) LAAAAAYYYY! Nothing I've said hasn't been said before by senior officials."

However, senior Bush administration officials said "I can only assume his remarks must have been mistranslated." Having been properly translated, the State Department version of the interview now reads "BAAAAAH! Everything's fine."

In the New York Senate race, Republican challenger John Spencer, seen here at the worst taxi stand, ever, was overheard by a reporter disparaging Mrs. Clinton's looks. Mr. Spencer allegedly said "You ever see a picture of her back then? Hoo! I don't know why Bill married her."

Ze (unsure look): I don't know. I think she kinda looked hot.

Slick Ze: I would've done her math homework. Know what I mean? (confused face).

Slick Ze: I would've cleared her cafeteria tray. Know... (laughs, confused face).

Questioning Ze: I would've watched her lava lamp? Why can't I do this?

Ze: Anyways, kids, the point is don't marry anyone unless they're really hot!

Questioning Ze: Cracked her DRM? No, too current...

Ze: Still upset about being edged out of the sexiest man alive competition by Matthew Mcconaughey, Spencer allegedly attributed Clinton's current looks to millions of dollars worth of plastic surgery.

Holy crap! She must be bionic!

Angry Ze: I don't want no stinkin' robots in Congress.

Slick Ze: I would've had sex with her. No, too obvious!

Ze: In a recent CNBC interview, President Bush was asked if he had ever Googled anyone.

President Bush Ze (typing): Where is Bin Ladin?

Porn! This technology crap doesn't work!

Ze: The President responded "Occasionally, one of the things I've used on the Google is to pull up maps."

Scary Ze: The Google!

Trust the Google!

Ze: The President continued saying "I've forgot the name of the program but you get the satellite and you can..."

...Just zoom in on something, press a button, and it blows up! What? Oh, sorry, wrong program.

"...like I kinda like to look at the ranch on Google. It reminds me of where I wanna be sometimes."

What? Lookin' down from space? Or chillin' at the ranch? Either way, I'm with ya.

The President revealed more of his digital life explaining why he does not email. "You know there's no telling what somebody's email may... It would show up as, you know a part of a story and I wouldn't be able to say 'Well, I didn't read the email.'"

Yeah, I hear that. It's nice to keep that option open. You never know when it'll come in handy.

(Picture of Dennis Hastert(?)): Egaywah Han Solo. Hahaha.

Ze: The President is exploring a similar ban on phone calls and in-person conversations with his senior military advisors.

Sharpen her pencils?



This show's sponsors - Gimme some candy

Image:theshow-sponsor-4-0.gif    visit cambrianhouse.com & lose your brain crack!

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    RockInducedLabor.com supports Ze's music babies

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    you rock, ze

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Put this $50 towards a DVCPRO 50 Ze! Or some KD.

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    how long is left of my 15 minutes of fame?

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    Fun for the whole family! Love R&D&M

Image:theshow-sponsor-3-0.gif    If Ze doesn't stay, Ray will come flay-Glitterfire

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Little duckie! Little duckie! Little duckie!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-6.gif    crazies gave me credit! cadydidwhat?! vive le ze!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    For mentioning strongbad (simonvc)

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    duckies > ads. thanks ze

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Wish I could afford what it's worth

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    i love knowledge

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-1.gif    CelebrityCowboy.com is ZeFrank's friend.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    duckie is as duckie gives

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    Bike 2 work! champaigncountybikes dot org

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-2.gif    great show - thank you

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-6.gif    Oh lala un diamand rose

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    hard-ish charging my way into brooklyn. go ze.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    the duckies must flow!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-2.gif    This had better be the best $5 I ever spent.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    <3's to Ze!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-7.gif    Everyone loves the green ones. -Miss Jecka-

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Quack......quack.......quack......quack........qua

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-8.gif    Hola Ze, from San Antonio, TX.

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    Quackiety quack quack quack... don't talk back.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    All hail the conductor of colaborative creativity

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-5.gif    Ze! Love you man! Nikki! Love you more! 2 years! Z

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    people thirst for quality news interpretation

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Kevin- Bearabbit says hi from Seattle!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Detoxify Your Body with the Detox Patch

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-7.gif    You can't spell Crapface without PFA - Google it

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Have a sandwich, Ze!

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Probably the most clever comment yet.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Keep it up!

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-3.gif    imaiM- ?sgniht eseht daer ydobyna seoD  !SELUR eZ

Image:theshow-sponsor-1-6.gif    ...

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    I don't need/want credit.

Image:theshow-sponsor-2-0.gif    Thanks for thinking so I don't have to, Zefrank!


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