the show: 12-15-06
←Older revision | Newer revision→
Music: I don't want a lot for Christmas...
Girl: Good morning SportsRacers. This is Zefrank from Victoria, BC ... Wait... I don't look like Ze.
Ze: Maybe not but we'll always have our big, up close, slightly distorted, non-blinking faces in common.
Ze whispering: So I was on myspace today and I have 2200 Friends. But I started to think about all the people out there with very few friends; people who might be feeling lonely. So, we have to adopt someone. Lets find someone on myspace who we don't know, and who doesn't know us, but who needs some friends. Fabulosos, fire up the wiki to nominate people and next Thursday lets surprise someone by all becoming their friends in one day. Its the SportsRacer Holiday myspace Adoption Program.
(Ride the Fire Eagle Danger Day animation)
Ze in silly voice: Honey, did you know was such a thing as a white dolphin? ... Oh, never mind.
Ze: CNN reports that china's white dolphin has been declared functionally extinct. The few if any that remain will not be able to breed quickly enough to avoid extinction. After living it up to nearly 20 million years, the white dolphin succumbed to over fishing and boats which interfered with their sonar.
Humans, after events this week said, "lets call it even."
Two less extinct dolphins got sick this week at a Chinese aquarium after swallowing some plastic. Attempts to rescue the dolphins with surgical instruments failed so Chinese authorities summoned the world's tallest man, Bao Xishun, a herdsman from inner Mongolia. Bao used his incredibly long arms to retrieve the plastic.
Mr. Xishun is reportedly not returning phone calls from the Federation for Constipated Elephants.
The Postmaster General announced that notable Americans need only be dead for five years instead of ten before they can be commemorated on a postage stamp. Reportedly, the policy change came after it was discovered that Carl Rove had already submitted a sketch for the Michael Moore stamp.
UK's "The Metro" reports that in Germany, a fifteen year old boy discovered a stack of nudiepics.
(cut to an example of said nudiepics)
Said boy did what every fifteen year old boy would do with said pics. The pics however turned out to be the work of famous photographer Sigmar Polk and the model... the boy's foster mother.... ooh.
The pictures were originally valued at over seventy thousand dollars but had been uhh... damaged a bit after being discovered. Despite extensive restoration efforts, now there's a niche:
- [Ze as a Restoration expert] Trust me, I've worked with plenty of masturbatory artists: Julian Schnabel, Jackson Pollock.
the images only fetched about sixteen-thousand dollars at auction.
The foster mother who's "keeping it real" decided to sue... the foster agency.
It's all about copying on the web these days. Yahoo Jeremy Zawadnoy discovered this (referring to pic on screen) Google promotions page which looks (cuts to an identical page from Yahoo) identical to a promotions page that Yahoo had released earlier.
In all fairness, web designers are expensive and Google's running a little short on cash these days.
Meanwhile, Stephen Colbert ripped into the band the Decemberists for challenging their audience to animate a green screen background for their new music video. Colbert playfully said, "Green screen, where have I heard that before?" referring to when his audience was challenged to remix green screen footage of Colbert himself pretend fighting with a lightsaber.
Pretend fighting with a lightsaber, where have I heard that before? Colbert's project was of course ehh... borrowed from fan community surrounding Ghyslain Raza or the Star Wars Kid.
Reportedly, Colbert's next project will be entitled "The Puma Puma Song."
Finally, the "New York Times" reports the death of nearly five thousand, two hundred ducks in Idaho. Reportedly, these ducks had learned how to read and committed mass suicide after finding out that they were being referred to repeatedly as "lame."
Wonk, wonk, wonk.
RunningFool marches onward, currently in Salt Like City.
Hey, have a good weekend.
Thanks Pilot and everyone else that gave me presents. Hehe.