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-   -   Post something that made you laugh today. (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=4329)

Audreyvgs 05-13-2004 11:09 AM

Last night Nico and I went armadillo-chasin. He heard it outside the bedroom window and called me and we snuck out with a flashlight.....it wasn't even runnin away (they're fast) and while it was avoiding the flashlight beam, it was eatin! They dig wicked holes and nobody likes em, but this one was bigger than a football, and Nico chased it over to me, and the thing was concentrating on the flashlight so hard that it walked right between my legs! It was so cute!!! Tiny bunny ears stickin up on the top of his head.... I, of course, reached down and touched it. They jump. All it did was walk a little quicker. We tried to get it into a cage to show the Bink before we let it go, but it outsmarted us, and when Nico tried to grab its tail, the thing had some sort of horsepower, cause it just pulled away and ran into some bushes. We followed it around in the bushes for like 10 minutes and it never freaked. We were laughin the whole time, and surprised we didn't wake up the whole neighborhood.



Originally published on the random thread, but who'd see it?

Clytie 05-17-2004 10:50 PM

Alright so I was sitting in church yesterday and the guy said ''You can lead a horse to water but you cant make him ______'' and he told us to say it outloud. So 99% of the congregation said ''drink'' but this one lady behind me said ''dance''
lol:D

masterofNone 05-17-2004 10:55 PM

"lesbian seagull"

sparticle 05-18-2004 01:39 AM

As I was trudging around the Cleveland Zoo, enjoying the entertainment both human and animal, I heard one beleaguered father say to the other:

"Man, you watchin' the kids AGAIN? You been babysittin' like a mothahfvckah!"

funkytuba 05-18-2004 03:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sparticle
As I was trudging around the Cleveland Zoo, enjoying the entertainment both human and animal, I heard one beleaguered father say to the other:

"Man, you watchin' the kids AGAIN? You been babysittin' like a mothahfvckah!"

this made me laugh right now... oh the irony... or is it some kind of baby-daddy thing?

sparticle 05-18-2004 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by funkytuba
this made me laugh right now... oh the irony... or is it some kind of baby-daddy thing?
I think it was both that made it so funny. I mean, it was the Macho 'Hood School Of Babysitting and these guys were keepin' it real, and ain't no mothafvckah better laugh, either. I had to look away because I didn't want them to think I was laughing at them, but it was hysterical. It reminded me of the time many years ago when my husband and one of his buddies started a big macho bragfest about who had changed the shittiest diaper. LMAO!

Willow Sylph 05-18-2004 04:19 PM

I'm still laughing over this....
Quote:

Originally posted by dinzdale
Oh and a badly filled taco looks appetizing ????

fodder 05-18-2004 04:19 PM


Willow Sylph 05-18-2004 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by masterofNone
"lesbian seagull"
"..come fly with me.... caw! caw! caw!"

btw, MoN - I LOVE that song (pointing at your quote line)

red 05-19-2004 02:27 AM

"I married you for better or worse, but not for nooners"

red 05-19-2004 02:40 AM

"You can just put two in and make a chocolate cake."

priceyfatprude 05-19-2004 03:00 AM

My youngest GBF telling me he's seen my brother on gay.com

Spicy Jack 05-19-2004 03:49 AM

HA..that's how we found one of our friends...well, we always knew, but the farker would never admit it...therefore we were evil about the whole things...as real loving, caring, friends would be. He denied it to our face so many times until we chased him down the block yelling obsenities. Love. It is a beautiful thing.

drshok 05-19-2004 08:05 AM

kettle drums
 
Question
What are kettle drums called?
Answer
Kettle drums.

weissenflatz 05-19-2004 08:08 AM

Re: kettle drums
 
Quote:

Originally posted by drshok
Question
What are kettle drums called?
Answer
Kettle drums.

You have a strange sense of humor....

Audreyvgs 05-19-2004 11:22 AM


Wanna know what he did?

red 05-19-2004 11:24 AM

yes! yes!

Audreyvgs 05-19-2004 11:29 AM

Well, first he told me that it was because he was talkin about those tomatoes in the sack, that hang on the back of cars...



But that was a lie. He didn't get caught for that. I don't think she caught that part of the lunch conversation....

red 05-19-2004 11:31 AM

hey look! I didn't know vegatables could be balls!

Audreyvgs 05-19-2004 11:37 AM

He was just trying to divert my attention to the fact that he'd shown the boys at his table his Scooby-do Underwear.

Avalon 05-19-2004 11:40 AM

bless Bink's heart. He was just proud, that's all..and creative ;)

Now his mom has gone and shown everyone his underoos:p

masterofNone 05-19-2004 11:43 AM

there's a good 20 years of therapy.

Audreyvgs 05-19-2004 11:43 AM

But the real problem started then...
 
The other boys at the table decided to drop trou as well....but they weren't wearing any underwear.



Fortunately, Bink didn't expose himself, he'd had that lesson earlier at a different school.....luckily he remembered it. But he was charged as an instigator, and I guess all 3 got the same note home.



It was really hard not to laugh. The note had been so ominous tho, I immediately tracked the teacher down, found her and she was laughing as well. Bink was outside, apoplectic. He finally came in, red as one of those "tomatoes" worried that his world was crumbling. She made him tell me the story, and after the 5th try, he finally got it straight.

But i still don't think he actually knows what he did.

Audreyvgs 05-19-2004 11:45 AM

I think about that therapy thing everytime he sees me naked.

not that i'm prudish about it, Im casual. He's nekkid like 50% of the time, outside with the hose, on the dirtpile. I got tired of changin his clothes 9x a day.

mightytiki 05-19-2004 01:30 PM

Man Leaves Motel Room Slathered in Petroleum Jelly

BINGHAMTON, N.Y. (May 17) - Roger Chamberlain may have thought he managed to slide by police when he switched motels. But when he was allegedly found a short while later glimmering from head to toe in petroleum jelly, authorities believed they had their man.

Chamberlain, 44, of McClean, Va., is accused of coating nearly every available surface in his room at the Motel 6 near Binghamton with the unctuous substance.

Then, after checking out, a cleaning crew discovered the gooey mess - one that included mattresses, bedding, a television set, furniture, carpeting and towels all slathered with petroleum jelly.

Damage to the room and its contents was estimated at more than $1,000, and once police arrived, they found 14 empty petroleum jelly containers and numerous pornographic magazines in the trash can, according to WNBF radio in Binghamton.

A short time later, a sheriff's deputy found Chamberlain in a room at another motel, his body smeared entirely in the greasy stuff, authorities said.

Chamberlain was charged with felony criminal mischief and ordered held in Broome County Jail.

Meanwhile, back at the Motel 6, the manager said Chamberlain's old room remains unusable.


05-17-04 1808EDT

Magpie 05-19-2004 03:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by imdrsmooth
P.S.
That's a lint roller.

:D

Magpie 05-19-2004 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mightytiki
Man Leaves Motel Room Slathered in Petroleum Jelly
HA! Most of my family called me last night to jokingly ask if this was my ex-husband...

When we seperated I had all the tax info (his receipts) in my possession so sorted/prepared his bags of expense receipts from the previous year for the accountant. Interesting what I found! One category...

Valseline purchase receipts totaling $63.00

I don't even want to know :eek:

funkytuba 05-19-2004 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Magpie
HA! Most of my family called me last night to jokingly ask if this was my ex-husband...

When we seperated I had all the tax info (his receipts) in my possession so sorted/prepared his bags of expense receipts from the previous year for the accountant. Interesting what I found! One category...

Valseline purchase receipts totaling $63.00

I don't even want to know :eek:

Were they deducted as a "business expense"?

Gatsby 05-22-2004 07:48 PM

Okay, sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself:

My house is old, and there is a big heater vent in the floor (about 3 feet x 4 feet, covered with a metal vent). So, I took the vent off and removed the filter to clean it out, which left the vent exposed (a hole about 4 feet deep). I went outside, rinsed the filter out, watered the plants, etc., and when I came back in I grabbed the mail.

As I walked back in the front door, I'm looking at the mail, reading it, and I walk directly into the hole. *Poof* No more Gatsby, she's stepped off the edge of the hardwood floor into the dark abyss of the heating duct, she's disappeared into the floor.

Now I have a big cut on the bottom of my foot and I had to totally change clothes because it was so dusty down there.

Ouch! But I could hardly lift myself out of the hole because I was laughing so hard at myself. I'm still chuckling.

masterofNone 05-22-2004 07:52 PM

that sounds like a scene out of a stephen king novel... except then there would have been large carnivorous rats down there to break your fall.

madasacutsnake 05-22-2004 08:43 PM

My bunny has learned to use the cat flap. Feisty little rat.

Quote:

Now I have a big cut on the bottom of my foot and I had to totally change clothes because it was so dusty down there.
Ouch indeed.

madasacutsnake 05-22-2004 08:50 PM

I wish he really did fall 16 miles

masterofNone 05-22-2004 08:54 PM

"running the country is easy as riding a bike. any fool who can walk and chew pretzles at the same time could do it."
gwb

Smartypants 05-22-2004 08:56 PM

OK, MoN, you made me laugh today with that one!! LOL!! :D

Clytie 05-23-2004 05:07 AM

my brother trying to do impressions of newscasters while driving...he cant do an accent and drive...went right through a stop sign while trying to mimic Brokaw
:D

Magpie 05-23-2004 07:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by funkytuba
Were they deducted as a "business expense"?
What exactly do you file that under?!

entertainment
medical
professional supplies (w/$63 of Vaseline you'd better be a pro)
hobby
baggage fee

Maybe figure it as a depreciation or loss on deposit? :D

nycwriters 05-24-2004 07:04 PM

Quote from a story about encouraging more women to become cabbies in NYC:

“Everybody likes that I’m a woman driver,” Atehortua, 50, of the Bronx said. “Some tourists like to take my picture and film me. They say, ‘Oh, my God. A woman driver.’”


I just laughed SO hard when I read that.

Then I offered to be a hack for a day for a story. I could hear my boss screeching from across the room.

More laughter ... hahahahahahahaha .....

Spicy Jack 05-24-2004 07:07 PM

"THE TEN COMMANDMENTS"

...the mucsical

No joke. Heard about it on the radio. Laughed pretty hard.

sparticle 05-24-2004 09:08 PM

Somebody sent me an Un-Birthday Card that wished me a happy un-birthday full of wonder and excitement and that all my wishes will come true on this, my special day

I thought it was so wonderful that I sat down and roared with laughter.

Mel-the-Fabulous-Flamepoint Siamese Cat thinks that cards, people who laugh and Un-Birthdays suck, especially when he is trying to sleep. He manages to get only eighteen or twenty hours' sleep a day, for God's sake, and he'd appreciate it if inconsiderate chuckleheads like me would tone it down.

masterofNone 05-24-2004 09:14 PM



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