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-   -   Go-it-Semi-Alone Limericks with Help from my Friends (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=5876)

dddrum 09-13-2005 05:43 PM

As Lear may have said to Cordelia
"Why don't you just make like Ophelia?"
To the nunnery you'll get
Or be thoroughly wet
Them's the cards that the Fates's gonna deal ya.

Marcus Bales 09-13-2005 08:32 PM

As the witches macawed to Macbeth

Hyakujo's Fox 09-14-2005 11:04 PM

As the witches macawed to Macbeth
"You're on the way to a dusty death!"

Marcus Bales 09-14-2005 11:10 PM

As the witches macawed to Macbeth
"You're on the way to a dusty death!"
The playwright reported
Macbeth merely snorted
And told them to not waste their breath.

Marcus Bales 09-14-2005 11:18 PM

No trouble with Paulas or Monicas
Because he was Titus Andronicus

dddrum 09-17-2005 07:20 PM

No trouble with Paulas or Monicas
Because he was Titus Andronicus
Tho none understood why
He knew the value of pie

Hyakujo's Fox 09-18-2005 10:43 AM

No trouble with Paulas or Monicas
Because he was Titus Andronicus
Tho none understood why
He knew the value of pie
Which he sang as he tried to colonic us

Hyakujo's Fox 09-18-2005 10:45 AM

These days it's become quite the fashion
To throw oneself in with a passion

dddrum 09-18-2005 12:37 PM

These days it's become quite the fashion
To throw oneself in with a passion
A Hollywood dish who's
Abreast of the issues
Is a sure cause celebre-ity cash-in

dddrum 09-18-2005 12:45 PM

A salesman came up to my door

Audreyvgs 09-21-2005 11:00 AM

A salesman came up to my door
He looked like a Fuller Brush store

trisherina 09-21-2005 02:07 PM

A salesman came up to my door
He looked like a Fuller Brush store
As he fumbled his wares

Hyakujo's Fox 09-22-2005 12:51 AM

A salesman came up to my door
He looked like a Fuller Brush store
As he fumbled his wares
Midway up the stairs

funkytuba 09-22-2005 02:54 AM

A salesman came up to my door
He looked like a Fuller Brush store
As he fumbled his wares
Midway up the stairs
I saw who it was: Al Gore

dddrum 09-22-2005 11:10 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew

Marcus Bales 09-25-2005 09:45 AM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new

trisherina 09-26-2005 09:28 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava

Marcus Bales 09-26-2005 11:24 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love

trisherina 09-27-2005 02:06 AM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry

Marcus Bales 09-27-2005 10:13 AM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild

Hyakujo's Fox 09-27-2005 12:12 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled

trisherina 09-27-2005 01:27 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

dddrum 09-27-2005 11:09 PM

A Delivery From Robert W.'s Poetry Service:
 
A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed

Marcus Bales 09-27-2005 11:55 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed

Hyakujo's Fox 09-28-2005 11:29 AM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed
Her downfall they plotted
With shoelaces knotted
Her coffeepot dropped as she screamed

dddrum 09-28-2005 01:26 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed
Her downfall they plotted
With shoelaces knotted
Her coffeepot dropped as she screamed

She screamed, "That's the very last straw!"

Marcus Bales 09-30-2005 11:50 AM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed
Her downfall they plotted
With shoelaces knotted
Her coffeepot dropped as she screamed

She screamed, "That's the very last straw!
You girls are so goddamned burgeois!"

Marcus Bales 10-20-2005 08:34 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed
Her downfall they plotted
With shoelaces knotted
Her coffeepot dropped as she screamed

She screamed, "That's the very last straw!
You girls are so goddamned burgeois!
You wouldn't know class

glasshouse 10-21-2005 06:40 AM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed
Her downfall they plotted
With shoelaces knotted
Her coffeepot dropped as she screamed

She screamed, "That's the very last straw!
You girls are so goddamned burgeois!
You wouldn't know class
If it bit your dumb ass

Marcus Bales 10-21-2005 12:48 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed
Her downfall they plotted
With shoelaces knotted
Her coffeepot dropped as she screamed

She screamed, "That's the very last straw!
You girls are so goddamned burgeois!
You wouldn't know class
If it bit your dumb ass --
Why, you'd think that it bit your Dumas!"

Marcus Bales 10-21-2005 09:13 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed
Her downfall they plotted
With shoelaces knotted
Her coffeepot dropped as she screamed

She screamed, "That's the very last straw!
You girls are so goddamned burgeois!
You wouldn't know class
If it bit your dumb ass --
Why, you'd think that it bit your Dumas!"

You'd think she'd have learned that by now

Marcus Bales 10-24-2005 09:22 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed
Her downfall they plotted
With shoelaces knotted
Her coffeepot dropped as she screamed

She screamed, "That's the very last straw!
You girls are so goddamned burgeois!
You wouldn't know class
If it bit your dumb ass --
Why, you'd think that it bit your Dumas!"

You'd think she'd have learned that by now
You cannot insult a dumb cow

Hyakujo's Fox 10-25-2005 11:27 AM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed
Her downfall they plotted
With shoelaces knotted
Her coffeepot dropped as she screamed

She screamed, "That's the very last straw!
You girls are so goddamned burgeois!
You wouldn't know class
If it bit your dumb ass --
Why, you'd think that it bit your Dumas!"

You'd think she'd have learned that by now
You cannot insult a dumb cow
Of great French literature
Their learning is minature

trisherina 10-25-2005 12:18 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed
Her downfall they plotted
With shoelaces knotted
Her coffeepot dropped as she screamed

She screamed, "That's the very last straw!
You girls are so goddamned burgeois!
You wouldn't know class
If it bit your dumb ass --
Why, you'd think that it bit your Dumas!"

You'd think she'd have learned that by now
You cannot insult a dumb cow
Of great French literature
Their learning is minature
For that is the fate of a frau.

Marcus Bales 10-25-2005 02:01 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed
Her downfall they plotted
With shoelaces knotted
Her coffeepot dropped as she screamed

She screamed, "That's the very last straw!
You girls are so goddamned burgeois!
You wouldn't know class
If it bit your dumb ass --
Why, you'd think that it bit your Dumas!"

You'd think she'd have learned that by now
You cannot insult a dumb cow
Of great French literature
Their learning is minature
For that is the fate of a frau.

And the fate of a fraus is to be

trisherina 10-25-2005 04:21 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed
Her downfall they plotted
With shoelaces knotted
Her coffeepot dropped as she screamed

She screamed, "That's the very last straw!
You girls are so goddamned burgeois!
You wouldn't know class
If it bit your dumb ass --
Why, you'd think that it bit your Dumas!"

You'd think she'd have learned that by now
You cannot insult a dumb cow
Of great French literature
Their learning is minature
For that is the fate of a frau.

And the fate of a fraus is to be
All zaftig and bouncy and free

Marcus Bales 10-25-2005 05:51 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed
Her downfall they plotted
With shoelaces knotted
Her coffeepot dropped as she screamed

She screamed, "That's the very last straw!
You girls are so goddamned burgeois!
You wouldn't know class
If it bit your dumb ass --
Why, you'd think that it bit your Dumas!"

You'd think she'd have learned that by now
You cannot insult a dumb cow
Of great French literature
Their learning is minature
For that is the fate of a frau.

And the fate of a fraus is to be
All zaftig and bouncy and free
Not thin down her thighs
Serving burgers and fries

Audreyvgs 10-28-2005 11:18 AM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed
Her downfall they plotted
With shoelaces knotted
Her coffeepot dropped as she screamed

She screamed, "That's the very last straw!
You girls are so goddamned burgeois!
You wouldn't know class
If it bit your dumb ass --
Why, you'd think that it bit your Dumas!"

You'd think she'd have learned that by now
You cannot insult a dumb cow
Of great French literature
Their learning is minature
For that is the fate of a frau.

And the fate of a fraus is to be
All zaftig and bouncy and free
Not thin down her thighs
Serving burgers and fries
a twist of fait accomplis

dddrum 10-29-2005 04:52 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed
Her downfall they plotted
With shoelaces knotted
Her coffeepot dropped as she screamed

She screamed, "That's the very last straw!
You girls are so goddamned burgeois!
You wouldn't know class
If it bit your dumb ass --
Why, you'd think that it bit your Dumas!"

You'd think she'd have learned that by now
You cannot insult a dumb cow
Of great French literature
Their learning is minature
For that is the fate of a frau.

And the fate of a fraus is to be
All zaftig and bouncy and free
Not thin down her thighs
Serving burgers and fries
a twist of fait accomplis

To accomplish her ultimate goal

Hyakujo's Fox 11-02-2005 11:40 PM

A waitress named Cress Mulligrew
Loved the truckers whose rigs were brand new
She'd pour them their java
Kept hot as the lava
Of love that they knew was taboo.

Taboo because Cress was in love
With the author who penned "Lonesome Dove."
It was Larry McMurtry
Who made her heart hurt-ry
So she pouted like Catherine Deneuve.

Her pout drove the truckers all wild
And her tits left several beguiled
The size of her tips
Matched the jut of her nips
And left less-endowed servers riled.

These riled up, malicious gals schemed
While Cress, lost in love, merely dreamed
Her downfall they plotted
With shoelaces knotted
Her coffeepot dropped as she screamed

She screamed, "That's the very last straw!
You girls are so goddamned burgeois!
You wouldn't know class
If it bit your dumb ass --
Why, you'd think that it bit your Dumas!"

You'd think she'd have learned that by now
You cannot insult a dumb cow
Of great French literature
Their learning is minature
For that is the fate of a frau.

And the fate of a fraus is to be
All zaftig and bouncy and free
Not thin down her thighs
Serving burgers and fries
a twist of fait accomplis

To accomplish her ultimate goal
She dug her way out through a hole
Then she headed out west
Where the sun shines the best
Married Larry, now this story is whole.


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