I'm in a bit of a randy mood
Pardon me if my staring seems lewd
But it's time I confessed
You're mentally undressed
cept for that part of you stuck in your snood

If I had a snood, would I know?

If I had a snood, would I know?
Would it smell bad, or worse, would it glow?

If I had a snood, would I know?
Would it smell bad, or worse, would it glow?
Would it sting like a lash?
Would it give me a rash?

If I had a snood, would I know?
Would it smell bad, or worse, would it glow?
Would it sting like a lash?
Would it give me a rash?
Or would it just swing to and fro?

From shadows, I watch her undress

From shadows, I watch her undress
She knows I am there, nonetheless,

BEEDEE BEEDEEDEE DEE. We innerup this fine lil pome for a nimpordin bull tin.
 

Okay, Semi-Alone-Type Limericists... I need your help. I've writ a corker, but cannot parse a conclusory line (What's that you say? "Punch"? Well, okaaay... *THwhACK!*). Please help me choose the best of the following:

There was an unfortunate lass
Who was born with her boobs on her ass
She wore her brassiere
On the back of her rear

A.) To the wonder of all she would pass

B.) When she shimmied, men passed out en masse

C.) (Double-fastened, in case she got gas)

4.) Marcus Bales makes great things out of glass


Whaddya s'pose?

Love and rhubarb,
DDD


BEDEE BEDEEE. We now corntinya with the limericiousness in progress...

From shadows, I watch her undress
She knows I am there, nonetheless,
As I ogle her body

I vote for C




From shadows, I watch her undress
She knows I am there, nonetheless,
As I ogle her body
And sip my hot toddy

From shadows, I watch her undress
She knows I am there, nonetheless,
As I ogle her body
And sip my hot toddy
I'm guessing she's telling me "yes"

There was an unfortunate lass
Who was born with her boobs on her ass
She wore her brassiere
On the back of her rear --
What a ratio of jiggle to mass!

V. nice, M.B.! I'll tag that one Number E).

Remember, the number to call to vote this one through is 888-YAY-BALES... or you can text message "Seacrest Out (but not of the closet)" to the number 9

number 9


number 9



number 9...

There once was a lass with a notion
That love could be found in a potion

There once was a lass with a notion
That love could be found in a potion
I bought her a drink
And what do you think --

There once was a lass with a notion
That love could be found in a potion
I bought her a drink
And what do you think --
She was overcome with emotion