The cats are asleep in the sun
In cat dreams the birds have begun
to shit on the heads
of the mice in their beds

The cats are asleep in the sun
In cat dreams the birds have begun
to shit on the heads
and Sunday-best threads
Of the dogs who have made the cats run.

The cats are asleep in the sun
In cat dreams the birds have begun
to shit on the heads
of the mice in their beds
then crap on the rats as they run

A dentist, midway through his drilling

A dentist, midway through his drilling
Realized there was no need for filling

A dentist, midway through his drilling
Realized there was no need for filling
The chompers were false

A dentist, midway through his drilling
Realized there was no need for filling
The chompers were false
From too many malts

A dentist, midway through his drilling
Realized there was no need for filling
The chompers were false
From too many malts
he packed up and charged half a shilling

The candle had burned to wick's end

The candle had burned to wick's end
And left me alone to pretend

The candle had burned to wick's end
And left me alone to pretend
Its fast-dimming light

The candle had burned to wick's end
And left me alone to pretend
Its fast-dimming light
Was the last bit of sight

The candle had burned to wick's end
And left me alone to pretend
Its fast-dimming light
Was the last bit of sight
My teen-age despair would transcend.

It's cool out but warm in the house

It's cool out but warm in the house
Where all of us -- even the mouse --

It's cool out but warm in the house
Where all of us -- even the mouse --
Have three months to wait

It's cool out but warm in the house
Where all of us -- even the mouse --
Have three months to wait
While fire in the grate

It's cool out but warm in the house
Where all of us -- even the mouse --
Have three months to wait
While fire in the grate
Keeps Santa at home with his spouse.

My left hand unfastens your bra

My left hand unfastens your bra
I kiss you in breath-quickened awe

My left hand unfastens your bra
I kiss you in breath-quickened awe
yet to my surprise

My left hand unfastens your bra
I kiss you in breath-quickened awe
yet to my surprise
Your chest is a guy's

My left hand unfastens your bra
I kiss you in breath-quickened awe
yet to my surprise
Your chest is a guy's
what I felt was not like what i saw

Lying, deception, deceit

Lying, deception, deceit
those Blahniks that sit on my feet

Lying, deception, deceit
those Blahniks that sit on my feet
Say "MADE IN JAPAN"

Lying, deception, deceit
those Blahniks that sit on my feet
Say "MADE IN JAPAN"
And my stunning new tan

Lying, deception, deceit
those Blahniks that sit on my feet
Say "MADE IN JAPAN"
And my stunning new tan
tinted blue, colors running from the heat

I stumbled upon a solution

I stumbled upon a solution
to end all my email pollution

I stumbled upon a solution
to end all my email pollution
I purchased a pen

I stumbled upon a solution
to end all my email pollution
I purchased a pen
some paper, and then

I stumbled upon a solution
to end all my email pollution
I purchased a pen
some paper, and then
wrote a virus entitled 'confucian'

Confucius once famously said

Confucius once famously said
"In the long run, we all will be dead."

Confucius once famously said
"In the long run, we all will be dead."
so you should think twice

Confucius once famously said
"In the long run, we all will be dead."
so you should think twice
about how you treat mice

Confucius once famously said
"In the long run, we all will be dead."
so you should think twice
about how you treat mice
(No FooFooesque bops on the head!) :(

I knew that he knew that I knew

I knew that he knew that I knew
that I know that he knows that I do