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trisherina 09-04-2004 04:26 AM

RatMan was trying to clean up his hard drive and was playing random media files. One came on... an a capella version of New Orleans is Sinking, a song by Canajun rock band The Tragically Hip.

"Who is that?" RM asked irritably.

I listened for a couple bars. "I think it's Hank Hill."

We both realized at the same time: It was HIM. It was a track from a time when RM had a friend over to play guitar and sax and sing, and dick around with Cakewalk.

Does this make me Peggy Hill?

ally 09-05-2004 07:06 AM


Aphrodite 09-06-2004 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Hyakujo's Fox

I'll be Princess Di, and you be Prince Charles.

rapscalious rob 09-06-2004 07:53 PM

moel has really been cracking me up. That guy is hilarious!

Frieda 09-07-2004 12:08 PM

commercial

sorry.. had to post, maybe weissen gets a good laugh out of this too :D

masterofNone 09-07-2004 12:34 PM

is that two old ladies talking like thugs? in dutch?

Spicy Jack 09-07-2004 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Frieda
commercial

sorry.. had to post, maybe weissen gets a good laugh out of this too :D

HHAHAHAHAHHAAAA ..:( ...i don't get it.

i like the ity bity car though. i could carry it around in my pocket.

dani 09-07-2004 02:35 PM

http://www.angryalien.com/0804/jawsbunnies.asp

this made me laugh today. i love these bunny cartoons!

Clytie 09-07-2004 02:44 PM

*laughs* fun stuff MobyDick

Frieda 09-07-2004 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by masterofNone
is that two old ladies talking like thugs? in dutch?
yes!

i´ll try to translate

"so check this, i´m sitting in my wagon, 50 Cent pumping out of my speakers, you know, chill..

so i boost that car phat fast, right?

comes the scooter with his fake badge stopping me, so the copper says to me that i can´t speed here and that i have to pass him doekoe (cash)!

i say, hey, act difficult, I´M NOT YOUR BITCH!"

Spicy Jack 09-07-2004 03:25 PM

now that is funny.

Frieda 09-07-2004 03:32 PM

actually, it is :D

i was hoping weissen would see it!

Coffee 09-07-2004 03:59 PM

I sent an email yesterday to my Senator Diane Feinstein regarding US troops being ordered to ride in supply vehicles operated by civilians working for a subsidiary of Halliburton...apparently the troops are not happy about protecting untrained civilians and risking their lives to protect Haliburton's profits.

Response: (bold is my emphais)

Dear Mr. -------------: (they got the "Mr." right anyhow :) )

Thank you for contacting me with your concerns regarding the
Bush Administration=s proposal to permit limited imports of
endangered wild animals as hunting trophies and commercial products.
I appreciate hearing your views on this important issue.

I share your concerns about the potential damage this new
policy could have on the world=s endangered species populations.
Officials at the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (FWS) claim that the
proposed changes are intended to provide incentives for poor countries
to expand established conservation programs with profits from the sale
of live animals and commercial products made from these animals.

Currently, the FWS is in the process of reviewing comments it
received during the public comment period, which closed on October
17. After reviewing these comments, the agency will decide whether to
move forward with the implementation of the proposed changes.
Please know I will continue to monitor this issue closely, and should
the FWS decide to move forward with these changes, I will do
everything possible to ensure the proper oversight mechanisms are
included in any new permit program to ensure it is enhancing these
endangered animals= chances for survival.

Again, thank you for writing me. I value your opinion and I
hope you will continue to keep in touch on issues important to you
. If
you have any questions or need assistance, please feel free to contact
my Washington, D.C. staff at (202) 224-3841.

Sincerely yours,

Dianne Feinstein
United States Senator

http://feinstein.senate.gov


Thanks for making it easy for your constituents to get involved Senator Feinstein

So I called instead...not sure that that will have any impact either...but I tried.

topcat 09-08-2004 04:21 AM

OP-ED CONTRIBUTOR
The Latest Poll
By LEE KALCHEIM

Published: September 7, 2004


ARTICLE TOOLS


E-Mail This Article
Printer-Friendly Format
Most E-Mailed Articles








READERS' OPINIONS


Forum: Join a Discussion on Op-Ed Contributors






TIMES NEWS TRACKER



Topics
Alerts

Presidential Elections (US)




Kerry, John F




Bush, George W











40 percent of parents who dislike 30 percent of their children prefer George W. Bush.





60 percent of households that fly flags think America can do no wrong 26 percent of the time.





70 percent of women who think Mr. Bush is more likeable than their husbands prefer John Kerry.





52 percent of people with wall-to-wall carpeting dislike Mr. Bush's plan for redecorating Iraq.





98 percent of people who are hearing-impaired like 50 percent of what they hear from Mr. Bush.





100 percent of Spanish-American War veterans are dead.





98 percent of World War I veterans can't remember the name of either candidate. Both prefer Coolidge.





43 percent of women think Mr. Bush has more presidential hair. 26 percent think John Edwards has more vice presidential hair. 47 percent think Mr. Edwards has more presidential hair and 26 percent think Mr. Kerry has more vice presidential hair. 92 percent think Dick Cheney has no hair. 73 percent think Mr. Bush's hair is irrelevant. 54 percent think Mr. Bush is irrelevant.





76 percent of women think Teresa Heinz Kerry colors her hair. 53 percent of those women would prefer a different color. 42 percent would prefer a different first lady.

One-half of all Jewish mothers like one-half of Mr. Kerry.





63 percent of single women over 50 think John Kerry is too tall for his own good. 71 percent of divorced women say George Bush would be an ideal ex-husband.





Before the Republican convention, 86 percent of the population thought Zell Miller was a professional golfer. After the convention, 92 percent of the population would not like to be in his foursome.





50 percent of the electorate think that polls are misleading, inaccurate and inconclusive. The other 50 percent agree 30 percent of the time with 40 percent of the results.


Lee Kalcheim is a writer for television and theater

Gatsby 09-08-2004 02:52 PM

Some random excerpts from the lecture of my Constitutional Law professor:

On random things:
"Any questions on, like, whatever I'm talking about?"
"It's a liberal arts college. It's where they, like, beat you up."
"This is, like, Herculean. You know what that is? You know, like, Hercules stuff."

On the Revolutionary War:
"Whatever the 18th century equivalent of 'chill, big guy' was."

On Hitler:
"Bless his poor, corrupt, Satanic heart."

On Nixon:
"Chill! Leave me alone! I'm too cool to be touched!"

On the founders:
"The large, heavy-men-with-beards period in our history."

On apportionment:
"How many people are in Rhode Island? Like, twelve. How many people are in California? I don't know, like, a billion."

On Due Process:
"You can't deny non-blue-eyed-people - or THIS CHAIR - life, liberty, etc."

On the Commerce Clause:
"Congress will run like this like a bat out of hell. I just closed with a mixed metaphor, 'cause bats don't run, do they? Oh, well."

Hypothetical:
"Okay, so, I want to lower the drinking age because it would be easier to put my 5-year-old to bed if he were stewed. How can I accomplish that?"

On the Final:
Student: "How long is the exam?"
Professor: "Seventeen hours. We will start at dawn."

Spicy Jack 09-08-2004 03:07 PM

awesome!

daverbee 09-08-2004 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GatsbyGirl
Some random excerpts from the lecture of my Constitutional Law professor:

On random things:
"Any questions on, like, whatever I'm talking about?"
"It's a liberal arts college. It's where they, like, beat you up."
"This is, like, Herculean. You know what that is? You know, like, Hercules stuff."

On the Revolutionary War:
"Whatever the 18th century equivalent of 'chill, big guy' was."

On Hitler:
"Bless his poor, corrupt, Satanic heart."

On Nixon:
"Chill! Leave me alone! I'm too cool to be touched!"

On the founders:
"The large, heavy-men-with-beards period in our history."

On apportionment:
"How many people are in Rhode Island? Like, twelve. How many people are in California? I don't know, like, a billion."

On Due Process:
"You can't deny non-blue-eyed-people - or THIS CHAIR - life, liberty, etc."

On the Commerce Clause:
"Congress will run like this like a bat out of hell. I just closed with a mixed metaphor, 'cause bats don't run, do they? Oh, well."

Hypothetical:
"Okay, so, I want to lower the drinking age because it would be easier to put my 5-year-old to bed if he were stewed. How can I accomplish that?"

On the Final:
Student: "How long is the exam?"
Professor: "Seventeen hours. We will start at dawn."

Hippie Lawyers...gah!

daverbee 09-08-2004 03:46 PM

OK, this made me laugh last Saturday, so apologies for screwing up the thread:
Went over to one of our local camera shops to buy film to use on vacation and in the midst of the city making preparations for Hurricane Frances, they had a handwritten sign in their window that said, "We sell waterproof cameras."
I told the guy at the counter, it's amazing the things you can advertise in times of stress!

Smartypants 09-08-2004 05:14 PM

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators so far during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. _____Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. _____Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. _____Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

4. _____Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

5. _____Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

6. _____Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. _____At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. _____Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

9. _____Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"
_

nycwriters 09-08-2004 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Smartypants
5. _____Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

HEGEL!

daverbee 09-08-2004 05:19 PM

Yogi Berra was the softball commentator?

dinzdale 09-08-2004 05:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Smartypants

8. _____Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

BOGUS Mr Pants.

Julian Dicks played in England in the early 90's and has never represented his country, and none of the UK countries were entered in the Olympics. Other than hearing 4 others before, quite a remarkable piece of literature.

Frieda 09-08-2004 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dinzdale
BOGUS Mr Pants.

Julian Dicks played in England in the early 90's and has never represented his country, and none of the UK countries were entered in the Olympics. Other than hearing 4 others before, quite a remarkable piece of literature.

well done dinz! :)

priceyfatprude 09-08-2004 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by trisherina
RatMan was trying to clean up his hard drive and was playing random media files. One came on... an a capella version of New Orleans is Sinking, a song by Canajun rock band The Tragically Hip.

"Who is that?" RM asked irritably.

I listened for a couple bars. "I think it's Hank Hill."

We both realized at the same time: It was HIM. It was a track from a time when RM had a friend over to play guitar and sax and sing, and dick around with Cakewalk.

Does this make me Peggy Hill?

This made me laugh today.

joppa.gal 09-08-2004 06:57 PM

Quote:

Another wedding I went to, a guy that was so big he actually had breasts, was wearing a see though shirt tons of gold chains, and his chest was slathered in baby powder. The girl he was with had on a mini blue jean skirt and flip flops.
Awful Guests

Smartypants 09-08-2004 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dinzdale
BOGUS Mr Pants.

Julian Dicks played in England in the early 90's and has never represented his country, and none of the UK countries were entered in the Olympics. Other than hearing 4 others before, quite a remarkable piece of literature.

Mr Dicks, erm, Dinz:

1) My assumption is that the announcer had meant that the talents of the eleven players on the field were reminiscent of Mr. Dicks'.

2) The name of this thread is "Post something that made you laugh today," not "Post something of proven veracity and back it up with references to authenticate any facts cited within your message."

:p

Smarty "Bogus" Pants ;)

dinzdale 09-08-2004 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Smartypants
"Julian Dicks is everywhere..."
...is a quote from John Motson of the BBC during a Chelsea versus Tottenham Hotspur match from 1992, and obviously Mr Dicks appears to be present on the field.

Your lack of attention to the truth, and your poor due dilligence DID make me laugh today.

As do your ridiculous cycling shorts.

rgds
Dibble

Smartypants 09-08-2004 07:16 PM

LOL!!

Now that's TWO times I've laughed today!

Zaftig 09-08-2004 10:22 PM


red 09-09-2004 01:55 AM

Family Guy

Gatsby 09-10-2004 04:01 AM

Told to me in a bar an hour ago:

Why do ducks have flat feet?

To stomp out forest fires!

Why do elephants have flat feet?

To stomp out burning ducks!

***********************************************

At the time, it was funny enough to put the entire table in hiccups. Appy-polly-loggies, all.

Gatsby 09-10-2004 04:02 AM

Also, this:

http://www.squizzle.com/movieview.asp?id=991

GLEN! Glen, glen, GLEN!

Hermione 09-10-2004 04:03 AM

"[T]he illiteracy level of our children are appalling."—Washington, D.C., Jan. 23, 2004 (Pres. Bush)

Audreyvgs 09-10-2004 11:43 AM

This Morning's Email to the Bink's Teacher
 
This email was entitled OOps:


Dear Mrs. A,


this morning Nicolas forgot his composition homework book.... I realized it, ran got shoes on and walked it to the neighbors house where he waits for the bus. He came halfway towards me as i was standing by my fence over there in my jammies, with a button missing somewhere, I didn't want to go any further as Bink's friend's dad was standing at the street, and the jammies are too short anyway.
He was about 50 feet away, I yelled for him to come and get the book...
he rolled his whole backpack thing towards me, I yelled, "leave it there!"
and he slows down, still coming towards me, I called, "just come get the book!"
I was holding it up, he stops about halfway, says, "you come here, I'll miss the bus!"

i yell, come get it, he yells you come here, I said, leave the backpack there, he said i can't.

Mind you he's 25 feet away....


So, if you asked him what happened to his book, and he tells you his mother threw it,
I guess I did.

oops.

Bink's mom

Clytie 09-10-2004 11:55 AM

ahahahhaaaa *giggles* that was great aud!

Audreyvgs 09-10-2004 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by GatsbyGirl



Hypothetical:
"Okay, so, I want to lower the drinking age because it would be easier to put my 5-year-old to bed if he were stewed. How can I accomplish that?"




Benadryl. :D

trisherina 09-12-2004 05:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by priceyfatprude
big piles of limp linguine who can't move & fall right to sleep if it's done properly

trisherina 09-12-2004 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aphrodite
No Way!
After all this time, you are a MAN?

Quote:

Originally posted by Hyakujo's Fox
Yes Way!
And even before that!


priceyfatprude 09-13-2004 12:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sparticle:
My hubby once asked me -- "If it was between the Indians winning the World Series and our wedding day, and you had to choose one...."

Before I could think it was out of my mouth: "1948 lineup or current-day?"


Clytie 09-13-2004 12:16 PM



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