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-   -   Post something that made you laugh today. (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=4329)

brightpearl 09-29-2010 08:19 PM

I dunno, I feel jejune as sh*t all the time.

Bman 09-30-2010 12:46 AM

trisherina 10-24-2010 02:58 AM

Bonjour! Je m’appelle Souris. J’ai 13 ans. Voici mon chien Katie. Elle est 11 ans. Mon chien a des disquettes oreilles et quatre pattes. Elle est intelligente, loyale, et timide. Katie aime en cours d’exécution. Elle a besoin alimentaire, l’eau, et attention.

Klynne 11-02-2010 01:45 AM

My friend had a death in her family today. Her grandmother died at 97 years old, so it was not unexpected, but still, she was very close to her. I told her that I would pray for her, but not in the uppity way that some people tell you "I will pray for you" if they think you are going to hell. She laughed and said, "Yep, I have dealt with that before" She told me, that when she was newly employed for one company, and was meeting the whole staff, a woman approached her and asked her if she had found Jesus. She asked "Is Jesus really missing, he was just here a minute ago" . Well, besides that woman, the rest of the staff laughed. She never made friends with that woman.

lukkucairi 11-04-2010 08:32 AM

Man Wearing Breathalyzer Costume Arrested for DUI

brightpearl 11-05-2010 03:38 PM

Hee hee hee.
This is the kind of story I love. A real, print magazine called Cook's Source totally lifted a blog article without the author's knowledge or consent. They admitted it, but when she asked for a donation to her alma mater in return, they sent a really nasty reply, basically saying she should be thankful for their help, because they edited her piece so well. So she blogged about it, of course.

Just reading an email of such hubris is entertaining in itself, but what's really funny is the resulting comments on Cook's Source facebook page.

They nearly made me shoot tea out my nose.

Ah, justice.

Frieda 11-10-2010 06:37 PM

overheard while in the hospital, a male gay nurse with a dandy voice taking care of a huge surinam lady in a room across the hall--

so ma'm, shall we give you a little cleanup here? after that you can take a rest. i can't take a rest just yet, i still have to wait till midnight. and then i have to walk my doggie! oh i love my doggie. i love my doggie more than my husband. do you have any pets? oh chickens? to eat..?

oh i guess you had to be there :rolleyes:

trisherina 11-11-2010 04:32 AM


MoJoRiSin 11-17-2010 01:56 AM

(chuckle mind you, chuckle)
"Generally speaking, if a
Human being never shows
anger, then I think some-
thing's wrong.
He's not right in the brain."
~The Dalai Lama

lukkucairi 11-21-2010 10:40 AM

Bman 11-21-2010 12:24 PM

Bird bath and beyond.

Marcus Bales 11-22-2010 12:47 AM

Bed Bugs and Beyond

lukkucairi 12-02-2010 03:55 PM


Originally Posted by Brynn (Post 426237)
Him: They are making cars now with engine components that can be grown. Which means super-light engines that can run on biodiesel."

Me: That's good news. Except of course if someone crashes at a high speed with another green engine, both drivers will be crunched up and crumpled like a piece of tin foil.

Him: I suppose it's possible.

Me: According to Mythbusters, even a bug hitting a motorcyclist at a certain speed in a certain vulnerable area of the throat can kill you.

Him: If you happen to be hit by a certain rare African beetle that is four inches in diameter at that exact area in the throat while riding a motorcycle, yes, it could happen. (Pauses as he thoughtfully sips his coffee). By the way, if anyone ever comes at you to hurt you, hit them right here. (He taps the hollow of his throat).

Me: Yes. Puncture them. With my keys in my fist.

Him: Or anything. Your fingers.

Me: My thumb.

Him: Yes.

Me: Then they won't be able to breathe. But do I really want to kill someone just because they want my purse?

Him: (He shrugs) They wouldn't die. They would have a lot of trouble breathing. Might need an emergency tracheotomy though.

Me: I don't think I could hit them there that hard. But if I did, then I would have to call 911 for him. He'd be lying on the ground and I would have to reassure him. (Glancing down over the edge of the breakfast table at an imaginary attacker on the ground) "Just lie quietly. You've been injured. Help is on the way."

Him: Or he might run away in a panic.

Me: Or get really really mad at me. Then I'd be in real trouble.

Him: That's why you have to hit him like you mean it.

Me: Then when he's writhing in pain on the ground, I could lie to him and say "I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hit you that hard. Just relax. You're going to need a professional tracheotomy. You're lucky I'm nice enough to call an ambulance. I probably won't even need to press charges because I've already punished you enough myself, so please don't be mad and obsess over this when you go to prison for something else."

Him: (Stares at me briefly, puts a hand on my shoulder and says kindly) I've got to go to work now. I'm glad we've rehearsed this - in case it ever happens.

well done :D

Brynn 12-08-2010 11:27 PM

YsaPur EsChomuw 12-15-2010 11:12 AM


Originally Posted by lukkucairi (Post 426403)
qiviut -... The winners are awarded custody of the qiviutanga, a ceremonial pig, which they are required to massage daily with coconut oil for the next two years...

yet another game one hates to win...

Frieda 12-16-2010 09:05 AM


MoJoRiSin 12-16-2010 11:18 AM

:D beard beanie :D

Large Marge 12-18-2010 01:10 AM

Gingerbread Crackhouse

lukkucairi 12-23-2010 08:08 PM


Originally Posted by Hyakujo's Fox (Post 426530)
my dick in a box - regarding the funeral of Richard Nixon


MoJoRiSin 01-12-2011 12:55 AM


Brynn 01-28-2011 04:10 AM

Hubble Kaleidoscope

Jack Flanders 01-28-2011 04:50 AM


Originally Posted by lukkucairi (Post 426540)


Frieda 02-06-2011 06:58 AM


Originally Posted by YsaPur EsChomuw (Post 427040)
Too much lunch will kill you :D


brightpearl 02-08-2011 08:25 PM

Evolution Made Us All from Ben Hillman on Vimeo.

12"razormix 02-09-2011 12:15 PM


Originally Posted by zero (Post 427088)

Coffee 02-09-2011 04:21 PM

"Mother Theresa" and "Lamprey Eel" in the same lyric sentence made my day.

ty Pearly :)

brightpearl 02-09-2011 06:59 PM

^That is exactly the part that made me laugh so hard! I have a soft spot for revolting animals. And Mother Teresa of course. :D

brightpearl 02-19-2011 09:28 PM

God, I can so relate.

Twix really are delicious.

Coffee 02-20-2011 02:09 PM

^I am guessing she was initially opposed to the marriage, but the grandchild won over her heart in the end.

brightpearl 03-06-2011 10:53 PM

Brynn 03-07-2011 06:05 PM


Brynn 03-08-2011 06:33 PM

From the Dictionary Game...

Originally Posted by Bman (Post 426976)
"Langobard Oliphant Chuckerbutty"

Coffee 03-16-2011 12:15 PM

"(mio(sic) never proofreads)"

:D I'm sure no one hardly ever notices :p

Brynn 03-22-2011 06:39 PM

Brynn 03-30-2011 10:38 PM

60 Completely unusable stock photos
Some of these need captions.

Brynn 04-01-2011 12:16 AM

I got this random message on FB the other day. This was our exchange:

***** March 29 at 1:42pm
Hi Brynn, Debbie said to ask for your help I think I have a viris cant spell it sorry and I dont know what to do cant tell my husband cause he will be mad at me xx can you help in any way love ***** xxxxx

Brynn March 29 at 4:51pm
You want to talk about it by email?

Brynn March 30 at 5:57pm
*****, are you okay? Have you been to the doctor? Are you talking about HPV/cervical cancer? Why did Debbie tell you to ask me? But the gestation for that can be years, and 70% of all American males already have it. I just shot a medical video about that.

Brynn March 30 at 5:58pm
And the reason I suggested email is because Facebook does not guarantee privacy - in fact, they own all of our correspondence.

***** March 30 at 11:56pm Report
Oh Brynn, you are so lovely, there is nothing wrong with me. It is a problem with the computer, but I think it has gone away now. thankyou for being so caring, when you have never met me, Love ***** xxxxxxxxxx

Brynn March 31 at 1:50pm
LOL! You mean a computer virus!!! LMAO! I thought ...oh, never mind.
Thank you, that made my day. And I'm glad it's just a computer virus.

MoJoRiSin 04-01-2011 08:54 PM

^ :D

hold out for the last sentence : )

MoJoRiSin 04-03-2011 03:17 PM

when i was around twelve or thirteen in 1968 or so
it became very popular to for teens to put posters on their walls
and every mall had a poster store and something many teens were buying to put on their walls were cardboard
raoad signs including "STOP" etc,.....
well what made me chuckle earlier is that i never conciously
thought of buying one and there is a good chance my parents bought it as a joke for me (secondary to my personality at the time) but for Christmas one of my presents was a big yellow
trianglish sign "YIELD" sign
anyway i ask my mother later why did you get me that
and she claimed that she heard me talking in my sleep as
she was passing my room super late at night
"I want a yield sign"
so in relation to my vivid dream of the sea Turtle swimming
behind me when i was six
oh well... you would have to be in my head........
to get it

MOPEDER 04-05-2011 01:42 AM

lukkucairi 04-05-2011 10:26 AM


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