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-   -   ★ our subtle torments in hell ★ (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=15061)

zero 04-24-2008 03:40 PM

two words: no sugar

YsaPur EsChomuw 04-24-2008 04:00 PM

No sugar, eh?

In hell to have sex you have to fill in a form, have it signed by seven city officials, get a stamp of approval from the mayor with a number on it, then you go to a waiting room with a counter*. You wait for ages for your number (no pun intended), but when it finally appears the counter always jumps by one more digit.

*confusingly set to binary numbers

treekisser 04-25-2008 01:15 PM

In hell, you can have sex anytime you want with whoever you want, but no one ever pays any attention to you no matter what.

Brynn 04-30-2008 02:22 AM

In hell, the bus you need to catch is always leaving when you're half a block away.

lukkucairi 04-30-2008 02:32 AM

in hell, you have constant annoying crusty boogers, and you're made to wear mittens so you can't pick your nose.

Brynn 04-30-2008 02:38 AM

In hell, everyone's just a little deaf and you have to repeat everything you say at least twice to make yourself understood.

brightpearl 04-30-2008 12:43 PM

In hell we always have a hangnail on our index fingers.

Coffee 04-30-2008 02:07 PM

In hell it is possible to regulate any industry's prices except for the industry that the president of hell has a financial interest in.

treekisser 04-30-2008 02:58 PM

In hell, the only bathroom is always occupied whenever you need to use it.

brightpearl 04-30-2008 03:07 PM

In hell, our shampoo and our pancake syrup are indistinguishable.

Marcus Bales 04-30-2008 03:28 PM

In hell you can never find the staple-eater except when you're looking for the stapler, and if you've just seen the stapler you're looking for, all you can find is the staple-eater.

Especially when you're in a hurry.

lukkucairi 04-30-2008 05:48 PM

in hell, you have to cold call.

brightpearl 04-30-2008 11:17 PM

In hell, all the cats are Siamese.

treekisser 05-01-2008 09:31 AM

In hell, Muzak is piped in everywhere nonstop.

zero 05-01-2008 10:55 AM

hell:it's a bulletin board

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