This Is The Thread Where We Have An Announcement To Make...
 

I understand this is about three months overdue, in fact, I may have already put this out there, but it excites me to no end. I got my dream job. I'm the director of youth ministries for a Presbyterian church. I get to lead teenagers in the way they should go.

Pray for them. Ha!

Ha!! Good for you!! Have fun and keep on dancing!

which way should they go?

:confused:

The "right" way...dumbass.:rolleyes::p

I would like to announce that I am happy for beckstra. :)

Let's say I'm a gay teenager. I hold hands with my same-sex peer when we go off to do outreach work at the soup kitchen. Sometimes we stand with an arm looped around one another's waists. We can't get enough of one another!

Elder Belcher observes this and advises the senior minister to tell you to "get these kids under control." He duly does. What do you do?

There used to be this bird at work who would get pregnant "because the guy will love you more when the baby arrives". She also used to pass out prescription drugs in the staffroom. We would joke that she missed her calling as a high school counsellor. Beckstra will do a better job, I'm sure.

Congratulations, Beckstra! How has it been going for you? Have you been doing this for three months now?

Well, first question: I have my first gay teenager. He either doesn't know it yet, or if he does, he hasn't come forward with anything. If he does, I'll love him and squeeze him and keep him for my very own (just as I did with my best guy friend in high school). If the elders felt the need to complain (I think the Presbyterians are beginning to lean the same way as the Episcopalians these days), I would assure them that I have everything under control, and that I was put to the duty of leading the kids for a reason.

Second question: The kids I'm watching over go to the school with the highest teen pregnancy rate in the state(!). Half of my kids are having sex (before me even, boo). We'll be having the sex talk in the next month and a half. There's a stash of condoms in the bottom of my file cabinet. They don't know that yet, but there is. I called around to the school. They have a parenting class and a daycare and still aren't passing out or making prophylactics available. I've talked to the senior pastor. We agree that the right needs aren't being met. *sigh*

Last question: I love it. It's my dream job. I'm not just blowing smoke out my ass either.

Clearly not.

I'd like to announce that I second beryl's announcement.

Congrats, Beckstra :)

live to work, congrats!

That must truly suck, lol.

just remember teenagers are insane and you'll do okay.

^we'd all do well to remember that everyone is insane. :)

congrats beck! :) well done!

Right on Beckstra.:cool:

Pray for them? Pray for you!

glad you're happy!

I just gotta do it.

SQUEEEEEEEEE WEEEEEE FREEEEEES!

Congrats Beckstra!!!

:)


Aye! :D Maybe grown-ups just feel saner cos they think about / analyse their insane state more often ;)

this is nonsense. if it were true, the word would lose it's meaning.
it's like saying everyone is special.
you might say that everyone has an element of insanity in them,
but that is something different.

^^ it's just another way of saying reality is a socially-negotiated construct.

everybody IS speshal! but pearly is speshaler than speshal though :D

I would like to announce that my lungs are full of jellyfish. I think that's pretty speshal.

Sounds painful.

In more heartening news, I find out next Wed if I get to keep my job (had a 90 day probation period)...if that goes well, I can move into my first apartment. Iiiieeee!!!

Luck to you Beck!!

I would like to congratulate Becks and also announce that I'm not dead. At least as far as I know...

I'd like to extend my congratulations to daver on the occasion of his not being dead.

I'd like to give my thanks to H-fox for his congratulations to me and also say that I hope he's in the same condition considering his avatar is a decapitated head in a box.

I'd like to announce that Wednesday is the new Tuesday!

I'd like to announce that I think I have a tapeworm.

I'd like to announce that tapeworms have been found to suppress allergic response.

I'd like to announce that I was telling someone that ^ just the other day.

As much as I'd prefer to avoid parasitic infections, I can't help but wonder if that knowledge would have resulted in my being able to tolerate bright lights, had I known about it last Friday.

I would like to announce that I am now officially old as I have been informed by my doctor that I have high blood pressure. (could it be all the meth and crack?)

^You can lower it just by breathing slowly for a few minutes a day. You don't need any of the devices that are sold for it...just take a slow, deep breath, counting, hold the breath for the same count, and then exhale for the same count plus one.

Stick with me, here -- read it through, there's a connection.

The Kings
A D Hope

The lion in deserts royally takes his prey;
Gaunt crags cast back the hunting eagle's scream.
The King of Parasites, delicate, white and blind,
Ruling his world of fable even as they,
Dreams out his greedy and imperious dream
Immortal in the bellies of mankind.

In a rich bath of pre-digested soup,
Warm in the pulsing bowel, safely shut
From the bright ambient horror of sun and air,
is slender segments ripening loop by loop,
Broods the voluptuous monarch of the gut,
The Tapeworm, the prodigious Solitaire.

Alone among the royal beasts of prey
He takes no partner, no imperial mate
Seeks his embrace and bears his clamorous brood;
Within himself, in soft and passionate play,
Two sexes in their vigour celebrate
The raptures of helminthine solitude.

From the barbed crown that hooks him to his host,
The limble ribbon, fecund, flat and wet
Sways as the stream's delicious juices move;
And as the ripe joints rupture and are lost,
Quivers in the prolonged, delirious jet
And spasm of unremitting acts of love.

And Nature no less prodigal in birth
In savage profusion spreads his royal sway:
Herds are his nurseries till the mouths of men
At public feasts, or the domestic hearth,
Or by the hands of children at their play,
Transmit his line to human flesh again.

The former times, as emblems of an age,
Graved the gier-eagle's pride, the lion's great heart,
Leviathan sporting in the perilous sea;
Pictured on History's, or the Muse's page,
All knew the King, the Hero, set apart
To stand up stiff against calamity,

Breed courage amid a broken nation's groans,
Cherish the will in men about to die,
To chasten with just rule a barbarous tribe
And guard, at last the earth that kept his bones.
And still the Muse, who does not flatter or lie,
Finds for our age a symbol to describe.

The secret life of Technocratic Man,
Abject desire, base fear that shapes his law,
His idols of the cave, the mart, the sty -
No lion at bay for a beleaguered clan,
No eagle with the serpent in his claw,
Nor dragon soter with his searing eye,

But the great, greedy, parasitic worm,
Sucking the life of nations from within
Blind and degenerate, snug in excrement.
`Behold your dream!' she says. `View here the form
And mirror of Time, the Shape you trusted in
While your world crumbled and my heavens were rent.'

i'd like to announce that i've been officially diagnosed with ADD.



and i also would like to announce that 'm really curious if beck's had a good 90-day conversation!

oooh, frieda's good at sums!
but can she also subtarct?

:)

pffft...Frieda surely you are too old to be diagnosed with AD....oh look, butterflys.

^ :D yeah exactly

it's a miracle i made it this far if you ask me-- i've always wondered why it was so easy for other people to just lead their lives, remember stuff, not being late all the time or in a hurry, have a healthy social life and not having their house full of junk scattered all over the floor. or study or something. and now i'm getting someone to teach me some tricks to manage my life! :)

carp...it sounds like i have AD&D too :o