There once was a gal from Nantucket
Who could think of more rhymes than just "bucket."
She could think on her feet
and thought it was sweet
to say "Nantucket, Nantucket, O Forget it."

I made me a real nice pot holder
and my oven mitt makes me feel bolder
to put my hands on the heat
and fetch out the meat
but now my balls feel a bit colder.

I think that I'll take me a sock
and trim it to use on my jock
no reason my willy
should remain chilly
if warm rags are in my cloth stock.

I do like starting these off
It gives me license to thicken the plot

I do like starting these off
It gives me license to thicken the plot
and bring the innuendo
to a rousing crescendo

I do like starting these off
It gives me license to thicken the plot
and bring the innuendo
to a rousing crescendo
Or just give it to them straight like Pol Pot

Pol Pots Pot Holder got Hot

Pol Pots Pot Holder got Hot
He stuck it where it should go...not!

Pol Pots Pot Holder got Hot
He stuck it where it should go...not!
And he can no longer moon
Because he stuck the spoon

Pol Pots Pot Holder got Hot
He stuck it where it should go...not!
And he can no longer moon
Because he stuck the spoon
in the biggest hole Pol Pot's got

I've heard it said you're republican

I've heard it said you're republican
I'd like to stuff you in a trash can
Cuz its election year
this country I hold dear
Don't make me kick you in the ass man.

I'm confused by the left and the right

I'm confused by the left and the right
as well by the day and the night.
Is up really down?
Is George smart or a clown?

I'm confused by the left and the right
as well by the day and the night.
Is up really down?
Is George smart or a clown?
Or just a whopping big piece of shite.

I decided to go for a wander
Hoping my absence might make you fonder