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-   -   Post something that made you laugh today. (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=4329)

melissa 10-08-2004 07:41 PM

Found on Craig's List:

I'll trade you - my cat for your cat - Straight up!!!

My cat - strengths - male - neutered - floppy like - black - long hair - pretty eyes - soft fur - gentle

weaknesses - psycho - whines alot - brings in mice and lets them go after he gets tired of them (in other words can't finish!!! so I'm standing there with a book yelling "Finish it Finish it Finish it and he runs the other way and the mouse is jumping up my leg saying "SAVE ME SAVE ME SAVE ME" so I HAD to DO it with my favorite book nonetheless!!!) - sheds a ton in spring/summer - collects burrs - eats alot - scares easily - neurotic - demanding - shallow -

Your cat - strengths - super mouser - smart - cute - cuddly - attentive
weaknesses - might need attention once in a while

I believe cats should be rotated between owners once a year just to keep them confused and unsettled. A settled cat is a ploting cat whose only intentions are to devise a strategy to take over their owners house.

Lets deal!!!

Smartypants 10-10-2004 05:06 PM

Bush's Debate Notes:


Willow Sylph 10-10-2004 06:28 PM

That's good, Smarty. :D

melissa 10-11-2004 07:07 PM

Passed around work today:

Neither Symantec, Norton, nor McAfee have solutions as yet!!!

The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

The John Kerry Virus - Reverses every position in your computer, each time you turn it on.

TheClintonVirus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.

The Bob Dole (a.k.a. Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

The Michael Jackson Virus - Attacks only minor files.

TheArnoldSchwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves... but will be back!

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 150 GB.

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy . then discards it through Windows.

Aphrodite 10-11-2004 07:47 PM

Loved that!

I sent it to some friends.

melissa 10-11-2004 07:51 PM

It made us laugh, here at work...

sparticle 10-11-2004 07:57 PM

Aud's new avatar.

melissa 10-12-2004 04:36 PM

I walked by the company's secretary on my way to the bathroom and she said "Are you registered to vote?"

I heard "Are you here to search Phil?"

The owner of the company is named Phil.

I'm not sure how I heard her wrong...

agentsmith 10-12-2004 05:52 PM

PICKING UP

12 SURE-FREE PICK-UP LINES (WITH NO GUARANTEEÖ)

1. I wish you were a door, so I could bang you all day long.
2. Nice legs. What time do they open?
3. Do you work for the post office? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
4. You have 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Iím a bird watcher and Iím looking for a big breasted bed thrasher, have you seen one?
6. Iím fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
7. Iíd really like to see how you look when Iím naked.
8. You must be the limp doctor, because Iíve got a stiffy.
9. You, me, whipped cream and handcuffs. Any questions?
10. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
11. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
12. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Letís get you out of those wet clothes.

priceyfatprude 10-12-2004 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by agentsmith
PICKING UP

12 SURE-FREE PICK-UP LINES (WITH NO GUARANTEEÖ)

1. I wish you were a door, so I could bang you all day long.
2. Nice legs. What time do they open?
3. Do you work for the post office? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
4. You have 206 bones in your body, want one more?
5. Iím a bird watcher and Iím looking for a big breasted bed thrasher, have you seen one?
6. Iím fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
7. Iíd really like to see how you look when Iím naked.
8. You must be the limp doctor, because Iíve got a stiffy.
9. You, me, whipped cream and handcuffs. Any questions?
10. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.
11. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
12. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Letís get you out of those wet clothes.

Your daddy must've been an astronaut, because your butt is out of this world.

Those are Windex pants, I can see myself in them.

melissa 10-13-2004 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by agentsmith
PICKING UP

12 SURE-FREE PICK-UP LINES (WITH NO GUARANTEEÖ)

12. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Letís get you out of those wet clothes.

This is one of my favorites!!

Here's another one:

"Come here often or do you wait till you get home?"

Avalon 10-13-2004 12:44 AM

I bet you're tired cause you been running through my mind all day.

Avalon 10-13-2004 12:45 AM

From a website I visit: (Shut up, Dinz!:p)


Frequently Unanswered Questions

What kind of assholes are you guys?
Do my cats really hate me?
If my cat farts and I am not around, does it still smell?
Isn't your email address assholes@mycathatesyou.com?
I want to send you a picture of my pvssy, but it gets stuck to the scanner. What am I doing wrong?
Are people really as funny as the captions make them out to be, or are you guys creative geniuses?

nycwriters 10-13-2004 01:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by agentsmith
PICKING UP

12 SURE-FREE PICK-UP LINES (WITH NO GUARANTEEÖ)

7. Iíd really like to see how you look when Iím naked.

To which I would say in a crowded bar, without batting an eyelash:

"Ok, strip."

Frieda 10-14-2004 06:34 PM

http://www2.goyk.com/files0902aa/videos/whatisup.WMV


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