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-   -   Post something that made you laugh today. (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=4329)

rmr 11-24-2004 03:24 PM

someone just asked me if i was over-worked and i said "yes, and crabby".....he then said "that's the nicest way anyone has ever told me to fvck off"

Smartypants 11-24-2004 05:09 PM

Re: Proud to be British!

Originally posted by chuckie egg
Be very proud to be British Because...

Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have 'call waiting' so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain ... do they steal self-deprectation lists from the United States... :p

chuckie egg 11-24-2004 05:26 PM

Re: Re: Proud to be British!

Originally posted by Smartypants
Only in Britain ... do they steal self-deprectation lists from the United States... :p
probably! hehe! :D

madasacutsnake 11-26-2004 11:03 PM

My old Dad is getting forgetful but he stilll likes to play with cars. A couple of months ago he lost his mobile phone. Email today:

I found my lost mobile phone under a Riley wheel.

zenbabe 11-26-2004 11:13 PM


Smartypants 11-27-2004 11:12 PM

The entire "It's a Donkey" thread has made me guffaw loudly for two days running.

Also, this came in my email:

The _Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and _high risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea _lecthim (pronounced "gonna re-elect him"). Many _victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, and _in spite of having taken measures to _protect themselves from this especially _virulent disease.

Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with _Gonorrhea _lecthim include, _but are not limited to: Anti-social _personality disorder traits; delusions _of grandeur with a distinct Messianic _flavor; chronic mangling of the English _language; extreme cognitive dissonance; _inability to incorporate new _information; pronounced xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; _exceptional cowardice masked by acts of _misplaced bravado; ignorance of _geography and history; tendencies toward _creating evangelical theocracies; and a _strong propensity for categorical, _all-or-nothing behavior.

xfox 11-28-2004 05:40 PM

The above makes me laugh.

And, a farmer was selling watermellons one fine summer day at $3 each. A little girl wanted to buy one but only had thirty cents. The farmer looked around and spotted a small one and offered to sell it for her cash. She said "Fine, I'll be back in 3 months to pick it up."

rmr 11-29-2004 02:20 AM

OK, TEnenbaum fans.....
Ive been watching the criterion special edition dvd of tenenbaums twice a day, and ive finally figured something outt......
shocking, i know.
your thoughts

yeah seriously dude hate to bust your bubble, but your ridiculously stupid
my three year old sister knows that royal wasnt dying..and shes deaf and blind.
it wasnt a mystery, this is not like vanilla sky or memento..theres nothing to figure out here genius. wow go watch spiderman or something, with a couple hints...you might figure out what spidermans real identity is.....ill give you a clue, its peter...p...

so Royal wasn't dying??? i so confoosed

i seriously cannot stop laughing.........

Frieda 11-29-2004 08:45 AM

jesus rims!! :rolleyes:

rmr 11-29-2004 12:05 PM

^^^ i'm still cracking up about this

btw i didn't write it if that's what you're thinking

i think it was supposed to be a joke and people were getting soooooo mad..........hahahahaha

chuckie egg 11-29-2004 12:31 PM

... the bruise on my arse (ass) from my drunken fall on saturday

Aphrodite 11-29-2004 12:59 PM

The bruise on my ass is from falling out the door at the gas station last night.
I was dressed in my new black pants and cardigan and looked very chic.
The fall must have lasted 30 seconds. I didn't know there was a step so my foot dropped an extra three inches and I stumbled. I caught my other foot on firm cement and went to step forward, only to discover there was a shovel and other snow tools which I caught with my toe. I fell backward with tools clattering all around me and hit a door jamb with my butt. This spun me around and I ended up staggering forward and hit the other side of the door jamb. Very noisy and very undignified. I was laughing hysterically for the first time in days. The owner and my friend came rushing out to find me standing there in front of the door laughing, holding my butt, with shovels and a rake and window cleaner supplies all around me.
I think I'll use a different gas station for a while ;)

priceyfatprude 11-30-2004 12:23 AM


"So my wife of fifteen years (next thusday) and I were having a kind of lull in our relationship. Still can't put a finger on what caused it, just a really weird time. We weren't talking and it just sucked for like three weeks. Neither of us were sleeping and things were really strained. Something had to give! I burned a totally legal* copy of "Can't smile without you" on to a CD, snuck to my wife's work, loaded it in her CD player in her car and adjusted the volume to the proper setting.

It worked. That simple yet extremely gay gesture got us talking and ****ing again. w00t. Thanks Barry Manilow.

*as per the copyright laws of Anarctica and Mars, possibly others."

trisherina 11-30-2004 04:35 AM


Originally posted by Miss Malevolent
I swear, it's like people need to have visions of some chick smashing geckos between her toes whilst they jack off with tacks and crisco in their hands.

What happened to normal sex?

I'm thinking in the future people will think that the missionary position was a myth.

I miss the divine Miss M.

Large Marge 11-30-2004 05:58 AM

Sorry, but I must interject.

The missionary position IS boring.

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