As the termites devoured the floor
Leaving pristine the carpets of whore

As the termites devoured the floor
Leaving pristine the carpets of whore
The indecent pink

As the termites devoured the floor
Leaving pristine the carpets of whore
The indecent pink
Of the sunset's last wink

As the termites devoured the floor
Leaving pristine the carpets of whore
The indecent pink
Of the sunset's last wink
Tweaked hard at the gore of my core.

This sausage, upon close inspection

This sausage, upon close inspection,
resembles Mantegna's depiction

This sausage, upon close inspection,
resembles Mantegna's depiction
of heartless removal

This sausage, upon close inspection,
resembles Mantegna's depiction
of heartless removal
and stern disapproval

This sausage, upon close inspection,
resembles Mantegna's depiction
of heartless removal
and stern disapproval
of mohels and their weiner dissection

Here's something that doesn't seem right:

Here's something that doesn't seem right:
My trousers are fitting too tight

Here's something that doesn't seem right:
My trousers are fitting too tight
I can't feel my bum

Here's something that doesn't seem right:
My trousers are fitting too tight
I can't feel my bum
I should loosen them some

Here's something that doesn't seem right:
My trousers are fitting too tight
I can't feel my bum
I should loosen them some
They must have shrunk a bit... right?

Oh no! And just look at this shirt!

Oh no! And just look at this shirt!
It's wrinkled and covered with dirt

Oh no! And just look at this shirt!
It's wrinkled and covered with dirt
I wash and I press

Oh no! And just look at this shirt!
It's wrinkled and covered with dirt
I wash and I press
But alas, when I dress

Oh no! And just look at this shirt!
It's wrinkled and covered with dirt
I wash and I press
But alas, when I dress
It looks like I'm seriously hurt.

I wish that some sort of success

I wish that some sort of success
Would come to those ones who possess

I wish that some sort of success
Would come to those ones who possess
No talent or brains

I wish that some sort of success
Would come to those ones who possess
No talent or brains
Yet accumulate gains

I wish that some sort of success
Would come to those ones who possess
No talent or brains
Yet accumulate gains
It's my only hope, then, I guess

Or else I could pray to the gods

Or else I could pray to the gods
To help me, and other such sods

Or else I could pray to the gods
To help me, and other such sods,
To live with my lot

Or else I could pray to the gods
To help me, and other such sods,
To live with my lot
bereft of good plot

Or else I could pray to the gods
To help me, and other such sods,
To live with my lot
bereft of good plot
All day singing of rockers and mods.

I wish that some sort of success
Would come to those ones who possess
No talent or brains
Yet accumulate gains
It's my only hope, then, I guess

Or else I could pray to the gods
To help me, and other such sods,
To live with my lot
bereft of good plot
All day singing of rockers and mods.

"Hey babe, let me show you my engine"

I wish that some sort of success
Would come to those ones who possess
No talent or brains
Yet accumulate gains
It's my only hope, then, I guess

Or else I could pray to the gods
To help me, and other such sods,
To live with my lot
bereft of good plot
All day singing of rockers and mods.

"Hey babe, let me show you my engine,
Pour you first whiskey and then gin

I wish that some sort of success
Would come to those ones who possess
No talent or brains
Yet accumulate gains
It's my only hope, then, I guess

Or else I could pray to the gods
To help me, and other such sods,
To live with my lot
bereft of good plot
All day singing of rockers and mods.

"Hey babe, let me show you my engine,
Pour you first whiskey and then gin
Then we'll both turn the key

I wish that some sort of success
Would come to those ones who possess
No talent or brains
Yet accumulate gains
It's my only hope, then, I guess

Or else I could pray to the gods
To help me, and other such sods,
To live with my lot
bereft of good plot
All day singing of rockers and mods.

"Hey babe, let me show you my engine,
Pour you first whiskey and then gin
Then we'll both turn the key
With a tense "One, Two, Three!"

I wish that some sort of success
Would come to those ones who possess
No talent or brains
Yet accumulate gains
It's my only hope, then, I guess

Or else I could pray to the gods
To help me, and other such sods,
To live with my lot
bereft of good plot
All day singing of rockers and mods.

"Hey babe, let me show you my engine,
Pour you first whiskey and then gin
Then we'll both turn the key
With a tense "One, Two, Three!"
And I'll give you my utmost attention.

She shuffled her way through the mall

She shuffled her way through the mall
with dreads, hip-huggers, and all

She shuffled her way through the mall
with dreads, hip-huggers, and all
Soon that little concave'll
Grow into a navel

She shuffled her way through the mall
with dreads, hip-huggers, and all
Soon that little concave'll
Grow into a navel
Then her outfit will make the boys crawl.

New Orleans is in for some rain

New Orleans is in for some rain
Tho' right now they are feeling no pain