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-   -   Post something that made you laugh today. (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=4329)

zenbabe 04-18-2004 05:58 PM

not a single thing has made me laugh today.

Audreyvgs 04-18-2004 10:59 PM

My friend Stevie (from Maine) said he saw this last week with his own eyes, and at least 5 other people had to have seen it as well.

You know those women who dress all up to go to the grocery store, then leave their cart where other people can hit it, well this one parks right first spot next to the lane in front of the grocery store, and when she comes out she looks around for where to leave the cart, and its just as easy to return it to the store, so she walks over to the walkway, and just shoves it up the ramp, where it stops in front of the doors. She turns around to go back to the car, and stops for a moment to let a car pass, and at that moment the cart comes back down the ramp by itself and smacks her right in the ass.

sparticle 04-19-2004 12:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Audreyvgs
My friend Stevie (from Maine) said he saw this last week with his own eyes, and at least 5 other people had to have seen it as well.

You know those women who dress all up to go to the grocery store, then leave their cart where other people can hit it, well this one parks right first spot next to the lane in front of the grocery store, and when she comes out she looks around for where to leave the cart, and its just as easy to return it to the store, so she walks over to the walkway, and just shoves it up the ramp, where it stops in front of the doors. She turns around to go back to the car, and stops for a moment to let a car pass, and at that moment the cart comes back down the ramp by itself and smacks her right in the ass.

WOOOHOOOO!!!!!!! Where's a video camera when you need one? :D

Smartypants 04-19-2004 09:30 PM

This just appeared in my in-box:

"Dear Abby,

I am a crack dealer in El Paso who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus._ My parents live in a suburb of Westway and one of my sisters, who lives in Canutillo, is married to a transvestite.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana._ They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Juarez.

I have two brothers._ One is currently serving a non-parole life sentence for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994._ My other brother is currently in jail awaiting trial on charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I recently became engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Fabens._ She is still a part-time 'working girl.'

_All things considered. _My problem is this:_ I love my fiancÚ and look forward to bringing her into the family._ I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her._

Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Republican?

Signed,

Worried About My Reputation."

sparticle 04-19-2004 10:54 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHA, Smartypants!


Today's excitement chez Sparticle:

Some chowderhead failed to secure the lid on a paint tin and it tipped onto the shelf edge and dripped slowly into one of the litterboxes.

The biggest cat in the house, Gus, who has six toes on each foot (his hind paws are like elongated catcher's mitts), jumped into the litter box and was horrified to find it full of paint.

Think Jackson Pollack meets Rube Goldberg.

Gus went flying through the house with me chasing him. Thank God the paint was washable acrylic. But he left about 20 huge spots of white behind him. I finally captured him and put him out, where he sat in the grass trying to rub and chew the paint off and making indignant, embarrassed faces.

I'm probably about a fi'tty-cent cab ride from the HaHa Hotel for laughing about all this, but you had to be there. Key-rist, what a sight! :D

Smartypants 04-19-2004 11:05 PM

Spart:

Judging from this and previous stories, I think it's time for you to mount web cams throughout the house!

;)

nycwriters 04-19-2004 11:06 PM

Oh man, I owe Sparticle a beer now. She just made me laugh so hard after a particularly busy and stressful night.

sparticle 04-19-2004 11:06 PM

ROFL! Even if not, it might be the best possible way to prevent anything else happening! The old watched pot syndrome, y'know. ;)

sparticle 04-19-2004 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by nycwriters
Oh man, I owe Sparticle a beer now. She just made me laugh so hard after a particularly busy and stressful night.
Heh heh -- pour it for yourself and enjoy! :)

AllegroNg 04-20-2004 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sparticle
I'm probably about a fi'tty-cent cab ride from the HaHa Hotel for laughing about all this, but you had to be there. Key-rist, what a sight! :D
!!!!!!

lapietra 04-20-2004 04:38 PM

Dinz getting mad at my "cheap noxx attempt". :p

Frieda 04-20-2004 04:50 PM

someone posted a thread called

"I NEED GERMANS"

that, added to my recent germany adventure, is hilarious. can't help it.. :D HAHAHA!!

Audreyvgs 04-21-2004 11:11 PM

an actual real time quote. 5 minutes ago, Bink finishes his bath, dries off and crawls in the big bed.

Nico comes in and says, "Get the Flock out of my bed!" and the Bink says, "But dad, I need some underplants!"

AllegroNg 04-21-2004 11:39 PM

It's funny I swear!

AllegroNg (7:36:09 PM): =-O
ViolinGoddessNo1 (7:36:10 PM): gosh i feel terrible
AllegroNg (7:36:17 PM): sheesh. he needs to aks someone
ViolinGoddessNo1 (7:36:21 PM): ?
ViolinGoddessNo1 (7:36:23 PM): ask who?
ViolinGoddessNo1 (7:36:24 PM): what?
AllegroNg (7:36:26 PM): lol
AllegroNg (7:36:57 PM): nevermiiiind you're sooo not ghetto

Not so much? Mmkay. Here:

Did you hear about the 80-pound guy with the 40-pound testicles?
People say he was half-nuts!

A pirate walks into a bar with a peg leg, a parrot on his shoulder, and a steering wheel on his pants. The bartender says, "hey, you''ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It''s driving me nuts"

Audreyvgs 04-22-2004 01:26 AM

aaaarrrrggh


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