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madasacutsnake 07-15-2004 01:29 AM

I AM THE MIGHTY SOCK SLAYER. I SHALL NOT BE MOCKED.



I was too slow getting the camera so this you are just going to have to take my word for:



chocodile 07-15-2004 04:07 AM

Someone I know is enamored, dare I say, twitterpated?

chocodile 07-15-2004 04:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lapietra

Don't take this the wrong way, but you've got the biggest ***** I've ever seen.

Magpie 07-15-2004 04:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lapietra

OMG Look at his TOES! They are hysterical! :D

Audreyvgs 07-15-2004 05:02 AM

I got mad when I found Pike sleeping face down in my clean laundry basket on my black clothes, this one would probably leave a half pound of hair!

Smartypants 07-15-2004 05:36 AM

The Association of Southern Schools is pursuing taxpayer dollars through Washington by designating Southern slang, or "y'allbonics," as language to be taught in all Southern schools. The following are excerpts from the Y'allbonics English dictionary:


HEIDI - (noun) - Greeting

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The state north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The state west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage: "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't heard from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage: "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage: "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago." _

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."



FAT - (noun), (verb) - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage: "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage: Just set that bare rat cheer.

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed... must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage: "He cain't breathe...give 'im some ARE!"


BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."


JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage: "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?" _

HAZE - a contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n haze laf."

SEED - (verb) - past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage: ain't never seed New York City... view?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert

Audreyvgs 07-15-2004 03:27 PM

Y'all makin fun-o-me?

O. I forgot. I'm from Chicago. You must be makin fun of Beale.

Magpie 07-15-2004 04:06 PM

heh :D

Willow Sylph 07-15-2004 04:40 PM

After work yesterday I was venting to one of my friends about a
thorn-in-my-side co-worker. She came to my house a couple hours later with a handmade voodoo doll of my co-worker. I got a good laugh outta that :D

priceyfatprude 07-15-2004 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by rmr
you say tomato and i say dirty sanchez :)
LOL

Avalon 07-16-2004 02:13 PM

a friend just called me; the school just called her.

Seems her 6 year old's class was having show and tell today. Her daughter chose to take a stuffed animal that her Aunt, my friend's sister, had given to her. When her teacher asked her who had given her such a fine gift, the 6 year old answered:
My Aunt Penis gave it to me! I guess the teacher asked her to please repeat the name and it was still her Aunt Penis. So, the teacher called my friend for clarification. Her sister, the aunt in question, is nick named Peanut.
Wish I coulda been there for the look on the teacher's face!!:p

sparticle 07-16-2004 02:36 PM

I was walking on the park trail today, and a woman's voice behind me said, "Passing to your left...on bikes...there's another behind me....he's slower because he's OLDER!"

A second or two later, after she had passed, came her very red-faced, visibly annoyed husband/partner. LOL

sparticle 07-16-2004 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Magpie
heh :D
Hey! No fair! I had dental work done since then! :D :D :D

fodder 07-16-2004 04:52 PM


sparticle 07-16-2004 05:22 PM



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