now that is funny.

actually, it is :D

i was hoping weissen would see it!

I sent an email yesterday to my Senator Diane Feinstein regarding US troops being ordered to ride in supply vehicles operated by civilians working for a subsidiary of Halliburton...apparently the troops are not happy about protecting untrained civilians and risking their lives to protect Haliburton's profits.

Response: (bold is my emphais)

Dear Mr. -------------: (they got the "Mr." right anyhow :) )

Thank you for contacting me with your concerns regarding the
Bush Administration=s proposal to permit limited imports of
endangered wild animals as hunting trophies and commercial products.
I appreciate hearing your views on this important issue.

I share your concerns about the potential damage this new
policy could have on the world=s endangered species populations.
Officials at the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service (FWS) claim that the
proposed changes are intended to provide incentives for poor countries
to expand established conservation programs with profits from the sale
of live animals and commercial products made from these animals.

Currently, the FWS is in the process of reviewing comments it
received during the public comment period, which closed on October
17. After reviewing these comments, the agency will decide whether to
move forward with the implementation of the proposed changes.
Please know I will continue to monitor this issue closely, and should
the FWS decide to move forward with these changes, I will do
everything possible to ensure the proper oversight mechanisms are
included in any new permit program to ensure it is enhancing these
endangered animals= chances for survival.

Again, thank you for writing me. I value your opinion and I
hope you will continue to keep in touch on issues important to you. If
you have any questions or need assistance, please feel free to contact
my Washington, D.C. staff at (202) 224-3841.

Sincerely yours,

Dianne Feinstein
United States Senator

http://feinstein.senate.gov


Thanks for making it easy for your constituents to get involved Senator Feinstein

So I called instead...not sure that that will have any impact either...but I tried.

OP-ED CONTRIBUTOR
The Latest Poll
By LEE KALCHEIM

Published: September 7, 2004


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40 percent of parents who dislike 30 percent of their children prefer George W. Bush.


•


60 percent of households that fly flags think America can do no wrong 26 percent of the time.


•


70 percent of women who think Mr. Bush is more likeable than their husbands prefer John Kerry.


•


52 percent of people with wall-to-wall carpeting dislike Mr. Bush's plan for redecorating Iraq.


•


98 percent of people who are hearing-impaired like 50 percent of what they hear from Mr. Bush.


•


100 percent of Spanish-American War veterans are dead.


•


98 percent of World War I veterans can't remember the name of either candidate. Both prefer Coolidge.


•


43 percent of women think Mr. Bush has more presidential hair. 26 percent think John Edwards has more vice presidential hair. 47 percent think Mr. Edwards has more presidential hair and 26 percent think Mr. Kerry has more vice presidential hair. 92 percent think Dick Cheney has no hair. 73 percent think Mr. Bush's hair is irrelevant. 54 percent think Mr. Bush is irrelevant.


•


76 percent of women think Teresa Heinz Kerry colors her hair. 53 percent of those women would prefer a different color. 42 percent would prefer a different first lady.

One-half of all Jewish mothers like one-half of Mr. Kerry.


•


63 percent of single women over 50 think John Kerry is too tall for his own good. 71 percent of divorced women say George Bush would be an ideal ex-husband.


•


Before the Republican convention, 86 percent of the population thought Zell Miller was a professional golfer. After the convention, 92 percent of the population would not like to be in his foursome.


•


50 percent of the electorate think that polls are misleading, inaccurate and inconclusive. The other 50 percent agree 30 percent of the time with 40 percent of the results.


Lee Kalcheim is a writer for television and theater

Some random excerpts from the lecture of my Constitutional Law professor:

On random things:
"Any questions on, like, whatever I'm talking about?"
"It's a liberal arts college. It's where they, like, beat you up."
"This is, like, Herculean. You know what that is? You know, like, Hercules stuff."

On the Revolutionary War:
"Whatever the 18th century equivalent of 'chill, big guy' was."

On Hitler:
"Bless his poor, corrupt, Satanic heart."

On Nixon:
"Chill! Leave me alone! I'm too cool to be touched!"

On the founders:
"The large, heavy-men-with-beards period in our history."

On apportionment:
"How many people are in Rhode Island? Like, twelve. How many people are in California? I don't know, like, a billion."

On Due Process:
"You can't deny non-blue-eyed-people - or THIS CHAIR - life, liberty, etc."

On the Commerce Clause:
"Congress will run like this like a bat out of hell. I just closed with a mixed metaphor, 'cause bats don't run, do they? Oh, well."

Hypothetical:
"Okay, so, I want to lower the drinking age because it would be easier to put my 5-year-old to bed if he were stewed. How can I accomplish that?"

On the Final:
Student: "How long is the exam?"
Professor: "Seventeen hours. We will start at dawn."

awesome!

Hippie Lawyers...gah!

OK, this made me laugh last Saturday, so apologies for screwing up the thread:
Went over to one of our local camera shops to buy film to use on vacation and in the midst of the city making preparations for Hurricane Frances, they had a handwritten sign in their window that said, "We sell waterproof cameras."
I told the guy at the counter, it's amazing the things you can advertise in times of stress!

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators so far during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. _____Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."

2. _____Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."

3. _____Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."

4. _____Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."

5. _____Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."

6. _____Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."

7. _____At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."

8. _____Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

9. _____Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"
_

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

HEGEL!

Yogi Berra was the softball commentator?

BOGUS Mr Pants.

Julian Dicks played in England in the early 90's and has never represented his country, and none of the UK countries were entered in the Olympics. Other than hearing 4 others before, quite a remarkable piece of literature.

well done dinz! :)

This made me laugh today.