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-   -   This is the thread where we talk about our feelings. (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=11448)

auntie aubrey 04-28-2008 11:28 AM

I feel humiliated. The goddamned doctor treated me like I'm stupid and made me cry.

Marcus Bales 04-28-2008 03:17 PM

I feel angry that Aubrey feels humiliated. I also feel pretty hungry, though, so I'm going to wait til after lunch to put on my cape and leap over a few tall buildings on my way to sitting down to reason sweetly with Aubrey's doctor.

Odbe 04-29-2008 05:50 AM

I feel for Aubrey too :( I really hate bad doctors. I feel like they have a duty to be good to their patients and make them feel comfortable, but of course that doesn't always happen.
Aubrey, he's only one person. The rest of the world knows he's the stupid one.

On a more self centred note, I have once again found myself in the position of motivating, organising and managing a group of people, fighting against limited time and large distances to create something wonderful. I always tell people I don't like leadership roles, but now, I just can't shake the overwhelming feeling of I belong here.

Stephi_B 04-29-2008 07:52 AM


Originally Posted by auntie aubrey (Post 385452)
I feel humiliated. The goddamned doctor treated me like I'm stupid and made me cry.

:mad: !!

Avalon 04-29-2008 11:24 AM


Originally Posted by auntie aubrey (Post 385452)
I feel humiliated. The goddamned doctor treated me like I'm stupid and made me cry.

Hon, you need to find a new dr. .

/mini rant/

You are a smart, well educated woman and deserve to be treated as such.
I have no idea what he said, but even within the confines of 'treatment', he had no right to be condescending. If you are not comfortable with your dr., you are less likely to be honest about your health. You need to be able to trust your dr...after all..he isn't just treating you these days...he is treating 3 people.

Right now, you need a dr. who has your entire best interests at heart...mentally and physically. If this dr, isn't doing that..time to trade up to one who will...and don't be afraid to keep looking until you find one you are happy with.

Go forth and find a new dr...or tell this one where to get off.

/rant over/

auntie aubrey 04-29-2008 01:37 PM

she's part of the OBGYN practice that i go to. they don't place you with a single doctor, they rotate you through all of the doctors because on the day you go into labor you'll get whichever doctor is on call. i've liked everyone there except her.

so yesterday when i left my appointment i casually said to the receptionist, "so i'm rotating, right? who will i be seeing next?" she said, "oh, you're rotating? okay let me see who's available." she placed me with someone else, someone i'll hopefully enjoy more.

after she made me cry (and i don't mean little cry. i mean shuddering gasping embarassing cry) i went back out to the waiting room and there was another girl out there crying into her cell phone and i heard her say the same doctor's name. so it's not just me.

i'm usually hard as nails. but, you know. preggers. sometimes there are inexplicable crying jags.

brightpearl 04-29-2008 01:55 PM

^Um, that one sounds explicable to me -- that dr. dumped her crappy attitude on you and the woman before you. I only wish that was the first time I'd heard someone say the OB humiliated them to the point of tears. It always makes me want to thow things. Explosive things.

Holey moley, even if you had been doing something completely harebrained, how would it help to treat you so? File under ineffective and harmful.

Well, maybe she was just having a bad day. Everybody does. But I still think you should mention what happened to your own doctor. If she does such things a lot and the other partners hear about it, they'll have to address it with her, and that will do all the patients after you some good.

lukkucairi 04-29-2008 02:18 PM

humph :mad:

find out when her rotation is and have a talk with your twins about timing issues :o

that's totally out of line - I know the preggers emotional roller coaster (not personally but have been there with friends) - that's a real "WTF?" - an OB should know better

agree with pearly - mention it to your doc.

brightpearl 04-29-2008 02:22 PM

^Yeah, I really think that's important. It's good to be really calm about it, don't treat it like a sue-able offense, and be sure to start the conversation by complimenting your dr., say how happy you've been with the others, and that way it can still be a pleasant conversation even though you're offering negative feedback. If you begin by saying how much you like everything in general, they probably won't take your criticism personally, and you won't have to worry that your care will be affected. You can also wait until after you deliver to mention it. But I do hope you mention it when you feel comfortable doing so.

auntie aubrey 04-29-2008 03:24 PM

because she might come up on delivery rotation i won't be filing any complaints until afterwards. but i have committed to refusing any further tests or treatments from her without a second opinion from someone else in the practice.

she had me running ragged with blood test after blood test after urine test after 24-hour urine collection because my blood pressure was 124/84. normal, for those who don't know, is 120/80 and it can fluctuate more than that on a normal day. you don't qualify as mildly elevated until 140/90.

she took my blood pressure 7 TIMES and pumped me for information about whether i had preexisting hypertension as though i were lying about it. in spite of the fact that my bp has been 120/80 on record with that practice for as long as i've been going there. i won't lie, i'm a heavy gal. but it's like she decided you can't be heavy and healthy so she was doing everything she could to prove that hypothesis and it made her mad that she couldn't prove that i had high blood pressure.

finally she informed me that i'd misunderstood the instructions on my 24-hour peepee collection (something she insisted i do, to prove i had high blood pressure and the looming specter of kidney failure) and i'd screwed up the whole test. then informed me that she has other patients do it all the time and none of THOSE women screwed it up, it was just me.

and that's when i started bawling like a scolded toddler.

i hate that woman.

this is so much more than is necessary in this thread. sorry about that.

brightpearl 04-29-2008 03:47 PM

*brightpearl fumes ominously*

That's hideous bedside manner and poor practice. Second opinions, yes yes.

YsaPur EsChomuw 04-29-2008 04:02 PM

^^ That doc has been totally deformed by the job. Maybe looking at her that way will help you ease up on hating her - because that's not good for you.

It's a disgusting deformity, really. She reminds me of one of the teachers I had who always tried to prove you didn't know anything and kept asking further questions until got you totally mised up.

I'm sorry you've had that experience. :(

trisherina 04-30-2008 01:22 AM

Get her the book Big Fat Lies by Glenn Gaesser. Read up about it on, you know, that big book ordering place that starts with an A.

Stephi_B 04-30-2008 07:44 AM

I feel like whenever I'm in Georgia (and after visiting Auntie and La Auntie Familia :)) I'd really want to kick that "doctor" bitch's ass!!!! ... and measure her bp and take her peepee at regular intervals during the procedure *evil grin*

Until then... stay as cool as possible whenever rotation runs bad for you, that with the second opinion is a good idea. Is it possible that someone (family, friends) could come with you to each examination and insist on being present in the examination room(s) if it's her? To give you strength and as a witness for her mobbing of pregnant women who actually are her patients and should be cared for as good as possible, particularly if they happen to be pregnant with twins (and pregnant for the first time, or?) *growling*
Another tip: When you should be on the verge of tears, imagine her taking a crap (or something similar that works for you), don't give her the satisfaction to see you cry and shake if you can help it! Let it out afterwards.

PS: I'm far from a twiggy figure myself and I have LOW bp, usually 107/66 or something...

Frieda 04-30-2008 08:10 AM

i'm really sorry you have to deal with such a bitch for a doctor, auntie.. sounds like she's been inspired by dr. House. :(

it sounds familiar to me-- i've had the same experience with physical therapists-- haven't found a single one that doesn't act like you described. i've had 4 so far. what i do, because i don't allow anybody to shit me on the head anymore, i ask questions until they no longer have answers. then i tell them they suck big hairy balls because they are incompetent and ignorant and leave the fwking practice.

i've had physical therapists tell me there's no edema in my ankle (you couldn't see the ankle bones anymore, it was that swollen), that CRPS is in my head (yeah that's probably why my foot is blue), that CRPS doesn't really hurt but i think it will hurt so it hurts (it's Complex Regional PAIN Syndrome, duh, it hurts like hell) and more of that bullshit. they just don't know what they're talking about. which is the reason, but no excuse for treating anyone like that.

my advice is to leave the practice and/or make sure she apologizes to your face for her behavior. there's no reason in the world why she should be treating you like that, you deserve better! :)

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