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-   -   ★ our subtle torments in hell ★ (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=15061)

YsaPur EsChomuw 05-08-2008 08:32 AM


Originally Posted by Marcus Bales (Post 386332)
In hell you don't get breakfast, continental or otherwise.

In the very rare case when you do get breakfast it's some maggot infested Asian speciality, the very sight of which makes you vomit.

Coffee 05-09-2008 01:12 AM

In hell you eat crap, and you crap sub sandwiches.

Frieda 05-09-2008 06:34 AM

in hell, your wisdom teeth grow back after they've been removed. then they have to be taken out again.

YsaPur EsChomuw 05-09-2008 11:34 AM

But once you decide to cut your hair, it never grows back. You're doomed to look like an idiot for the rest of your life in hell.

Marcus Bales 05-10-2008 10:32 AM

In hell you see things just the way they really are.

YsaPur EsChomuw 05-10-2008 12:27 PM

In hell, you get fat by breathing. If you hold your breath you get even fatter.

Marcus Bales 05-10-2008 02:29 PM

In hell you can't find any work.

YsaPur EsChomuw 05-11-2008 07:25 AM

In hell, there's no change. Things and people stay the same forever. There's no hope of getting a decent sandwich.

Odbe 05-11-2008 06:26 PM

In hell, you always burn your tongue while drinking soup/hot drinks, no matter how careful you are.

Hyakujo's Fox 05-11-2008 09:28 PM

In hell you wake up feeling more tired than when you did when you went to bed.

treekisser 05-14-2008 01:02 PM

In hell, your sink is always full of someone else's dirty dishes.

YsaPur EsChomuw 05-14-2008 03:19 PM


Originally Posted by treekisser (Post 386687)
In hell, your sink is always full of someone else's dirty dishes.

Yesss! And all your clean underwear miraculously disappears in the morning when you're in a hurry to get to work in time.

Anna 05-19-2008 12:14 AM

in hell, someone is always watching

Hyakujo's Fox 05-19-2008 12:57 AM

Just to remind you that, in Hell, you are scheduled to attend your mandatory Escalating Events compliance training.

lukkucairi 05-19-2008 04:39 AM


Originally Posted by Anna (Post 386971)
in hell, someone is always watching

in hell, you can never get attention when you need it.

lukkucairi 05-19-2008 06:22 AM

in hell, your flight is always being delayed by yet another half hour.


treekisser 05-19-2008 10:19 AM

Every time you turn on your TV set in hell, your face appears in all or the commercials for constipation, hair loss, erectile dysfunction, deodorant, and identity theft.

Coffee 05-19-2008 02:51 PM

^^and u don't get royalties.

YsaPur EsChomuw 05-19-2008 04:09 PM

^What you get, though, is lots of people, pointing their finger at you in the street, laughing. A sour kind of fame.

brightpearl 05-19-2008 05:58 PM

in hell, we always have s little bit of gum on the sole of one shoe, so that when we take a step, there is always a tiny sticking sensation

Bman 05-20-2008 12:12 PM

In hell you can play video games, but there are no save points and no memory cards

treekisser 05-20-2008 04:30 PM

...and only a weak, one inch display.

brightpearl 06-17-2008 11:07 PM

In hell, there is only one Oreo left in the package, and it's broken, so that countless chocolate crumbs have become embedded in the creme filling, defiling it irrevocably.

brightpearl 06-17-2008 11:09 PM

In hell there are no kittens, and all the puppies are hairless Yorkshire Terriers.

brightpearl 06-17-2008 11:09 PM

In hell, all perfumes must be personally approved by Paris Hilton.

Odbe 06-18-2008 06:21 AM

in hel evryting u hav 2 reed iz ritten bi 12yrolds on msn

Odbe 06-18-2008 06:22 AM

^ Wait, that's not a subtle torment.

Frieda 06-18-2008 06:43 AM

in hell, the pharmacy always gives you the wrong medication

YsaPur EsChomuw 06-18-2008 08:04 AM

^ And no wonder, because in hell there're no prescriptions. Instead, you've got to mime your problems in the pharmacy and they guess. Because you're not allowed to speak, it's quite difficult to get the right meds for e.g. constipation or diarrhea.

treekisser 06-24-2008 10:55 AM

No need. In hell, there is no remedy for diarrhea or constipation. Collectively, they constitute the national sport.

trisherina 06-25-2008 01:41 AM

In Hell, you never know what's going to happen.

Marcus Bales 06-25-2008 01:45 AM

In Hell, you know exactly what's going to happen -- and then it happens exactly that way

YsaPur EsChomuw 06-25-2008 01:01 PM

In hell there is no chocolate.

treekisser 06-25-2008 03:16 PM

...only devil's food.

Hyakujo's Fox 06-26-2008 08:24 AM

in hell there's always something good on tv

lukkucairi 06-26-2008 09:25 AM

in hell, there is no tea.

Coffee 06-28-2008 10:04 PM

In hell you can't remember your name
'Cause there is one there to give you mo' pain

treekisser 07-01-2008 06:12 PM

In hell, someone else is always using the only bathroom.

YsaPur EsChomuw 07-01-2008 09:15 PM

In hell, people have names like: It, And, Has, Or, To, etc., so any time they overhear a conversation, they shudder several times, because they think they're being called upon to answer for something terrible they had done, even though they have no idea what it is.

brightpearl 07-01-2008 09:36 PM

In hell, we always have little popcorn kernel skins stuck between our teeth.

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