Lizzie's frizzies were clearly a mess
Liz, in a tizzy, was forced to confess
She'd tried eggs and honey
But still looked quite funny

Lizzie's frizzies were clearly a mess
Liz, in a tizzy, was forced to confess
She'd tried eggs and honey
But still looked quite funny
Much like John Cleese looks in a dress

In my head all the midgets have bunions

In my head all the midgets have bunions
Thankfully they DO NOT smell of onions

In my head all the midgets have bunions
Thankfully they DO NOT smell of onions
A podiatrist's dream

In my head all the midgets have bunions
Thankfully they DO NOT smell of onions
A podiatrist's dream
Has athletes foot cream

In my head all the midgets have bunions
Thankfully they DO NOT smell of onions
A podiatrist's dream
Has athletes foot cream
That sadly to say smells like grunions.

Tonight I'll be out having fun,

Tonight I'll be out having fun,
Doing things that ought not to be done

Tonight I'll be out having fun,
Doing things that ought not to be done
It's so tempting, you see

Tonight I'll be out having fun,
Doing things that ought not to be done
It's so tempting, you see
To launch out on a spree

Tonight I'll be out having fun,
Doing things that ought not to be done
It's so tempting, you see
To launch out on a spree --
Before the beguine has begun.

If Cinderella missed the ball

If Cinderella missed the ball
The prince would not have come to call

If Cinderella missed the ball
The prince would not have come to call
And the floors would be clean