in hell, that cute girl you have a secret crush on is straight (and you're not, obviously)
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In hell everything you say is interpreted to have a negative meaning.
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in hell, you bite your tongue, leaving a bump and a lot of pain, and when it's almost healed you bite what's left of the bump again.
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In hell, you are always at your reward limit.
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Quote:
^ snort to HFox!! |
In hell the bathroom is always 20 yards away around the next corner.
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in hell, your workplace on thursdays is filled with dumb blondes who drive their cars in the mud. next, they complain about the mud stains on their white pants while someone else gets their entire business suit dirty pulling the cars out. they also bring in mcD and meat ball sandwiches and wonder whether to botox now and fill later or fill now and try botox on some other body part. also, your boss is dating one of them so he's riding the department constantly like a horny bull.
sheesh. |
in hell, you've always cut your fingernails just a little bit too short.
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In hell your sperm donor lives with your mother.
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In hell no one ever does judge The Dictionary Game
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in hell, your editor tells you to cut 700 words and gives you a half hour to do it in.
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In hell your daddy tells you he's got a brand new bag.
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In hell that cute girl you have a crush on keeps texting to you that she wants to have lunch, but she never has time for it.
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In hell that geeky guy keeps texting to ask you out to lunch
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In hell, all the nectarines are way past mushy, all the time.
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In hell you have to wake up 3 hours early for work, to go sit around all day on standby.
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In hell you always have another hour to go before the garage is cleaned out
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In hell the feces on your long-haired white cat never quite clears his hindquarters.
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In hell the feces on yoour long-haired white cat that never quite clears his hindquarters always ends up on your mother-in-law's lap after she exclaims over how friendly he was to jump up to be petted.
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in hell, your 18 euro fancy schmancy nailpolish chips within 2 hours.
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In hell you can have all the pain medication you want -- but it doesn't work.
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In hell, your computer will reboot just when you least expect it
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In hell, you will always decide to give the devil one more chance.
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In hell, just when you can really use some sleep, there's a guy with an angle grinder waking you up on irregular intervals.
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In hell you always get assigned the shitty jobs because you aren't a whiner.
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Quote:
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In hell, it takes your supplier at least 12 tries to get the "dd-mm-yyyy hh:mm:ss" format right in a data delivery.
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^and the next week they fvck up another column.
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In hell, the guy sitting at the desk opposite of you breathes heavily through his nose and on every exhale he opens his mouth and he smacks his lips and you can hear his dentures rattle.
the guy sitting next to you drums on the desk with his fingers in an erratic pattern. |
In hell you sit 2 cubicles behind and to the left of the enchanting girl who obsesses over her coworkers irks while she compulsively taps her own delicate dainty foot in her pretty frustration...but she doesn't know you exist because you have no irks. :(
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In hell when the Beatles song Mr. Postman comes on you change the channel
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In hell, you can never get the magic back.
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You can't get the magic back on earth, either. Perhaps in hell, there was never any magic, but everyone tells you there was.
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In hell, people don't know it's just a metaphor.
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In hell, even after you have both decided that you are not right for each other, she keeps texting...and you still want to "hit that".
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In hell ^ that's how all babies get made.
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In hell, there are no weeds or invasive plants...ummm...thinking...oh, thanks then you throw in no mosquitoes. Damn You!!! AND POISON IVY? I HAT YOU!!!!
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In hell, your supplier creates a report that contains all changed records, but leaves out the new records. Because logically, a new record has not been changed yet.
In hell, everyone you work with is either autistic or vulcan, or both. |
In Hell, you always lose Wordscraper to HFoxy...oh wait, I'm there :(
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