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-   -   ★ our subtle torments in hell ★ (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=15061)

Marcus Bales 11-21-2009 09:59 AM

in hell you've just won the dictionary game -- for the hundred thousandth time in a row

lukkucairi 11-21-2009 05:43 PM

in hell, you are always suffering a vague sense of guilt for not engaging in the dictionary game more often

Marcus Bales 11-22-2009 09:57 AM

In hell you wish you were schtroumpfed -- but you never are.

lukkucairi 11-24-2009 02:17 AM

in hell, you've run out of patience and toilet paper at the same time

Marcus Bales 11-24-2009 02:19 AM

In hell you pity the one who has no toilet paper -- until you meet the one who has no hands.

Jack Flanders 11-24-2009 02:57 AM

in Hell there IS NO PITY, DUMB ASS - THAT'S WHY YOU ARE THERE!

Marcus Bales 11-24-2009 09:43 PM

In hell there is no pity -- and that's the pity of it.

Coffee 11-25-2009 12:20 AM

Their is no spel chek in hel

Marcus Bales 11-25-2009 03:48 PM

or gramer chex neither

funkytuba 11-26-2009 02:13 AM

In hell the pomegranate is all pith except for one small bitter pip.

Jack Flanders 11-26-2009 03:46 AM

In hell, the can-opener is missing and you really want some cranberry sauce.

lukkucairi 11-26-2009 08:16 AM

in hell, you're always lying awake at 4am wondering if you overbrined the turkey...

YsaPur EsChomuw 12-05-2009 07:27 PM

in hell you can't stop

Marcus Bales 12-08-2009 08:32 PM

In hell it all just sort of holds together.

lukkucairi 12-08-2009 09:50 PM

in hell it's all a bit sticky around the edges.

Marcus Bales 12-08-2009 10:57 PM

In hell you know you could have prevented it all if you'd just said something.

lukkucairi 12-09-2009 10:52 AM

in hell, you're always saying what you see coming and people never heed you anyway.

Marcus Bales 12-09-2009 12:00 PM

In hell you're 0 for 3 with the winning run on 3rd and you strike out.

lukkucairi 12-11-2009 06:05 AM

in hell, you finally just go ahead and admit that you hate her, and it doesn't make you feel any better at all.

Marcus Bales 12-11-2009 09:51 AM

In hell the subway doors close just as your eyes meet at last and you realize she's still on the platform.

lukkucairi 12-12-2009 09:59 PM

in hell, you put up with way too much.

funkytuba 12-13-2009 02:42 AM

in hell, the game's on, the beer is flowing, the place is rocking but your team lost in last week's playoff round and your fantasy league coordinator forgot to pay the fees

Marcus Bales 12-13-2009 08:34 AM

In hell you realize that you are your fantasy league's coordinator.

lukkucairi 12-13-2009 11:14 AM

in hell, it's 38F and raining.

Frieda 12-13-2009 12:48 PM

in hell, it's 38F, raining, and dark for at least 17 hours a day.

Marcus Bales 12-13-2009 04:27 PM

in hell it's 38F, raining, dark for 17 hours a day, you spouse just left you, the repo man has just taken your car, the bank has notified you your eviction date is tomorrow, and you just watched your dog get killed by a car.

YsaPur EsChomuw 12-13-2009 05:34 PM

in hell, you get to experience what other people write about hell.

lukkucairi 12-15-2009 02:51 AM

oh hell, oh hell, oh hell!

in hell, you have nothing to do but think about the hell you're in

Odbe 04-07-2010 06:22 AM

http://xkcd.com/724/

lukkucairi 04-27-2010 11:41 AM

in hell, your body initiates a biochemical chain reaction which sets off your amygdala, your adrenal glands, and the assorted other anatomical bits and pieces that create the classic stress reaction. your brain associates your physical discomfort with a particular memory or chain of memories of events in which you felt similar physical discomfort, and these memories in turn strengthen the current stress reaction.

I have found that pranayama helps.

Bman 04-28-2010 01:00 AM

in hell, you have just bitten off a little to much skin around your fingernail, revealing that layer of skin that always hurts, even when you blow on it

Marcus Bales 04-28-2010 07:56 AM

In hell you have that stabbing pain in your knees that can only be relieved by straightening your legs -- and you cannot straighten your legs.

Brynn 04-28-2010 08:43 PM

In hell, your wrenched back is always just now getting better when your nicest neighbor knocks on the door to ask for help moving her brand new couch.

YsaPur EsChomuw 04-28-2010 09:57 PM

In hell you get to wear a new pair of shoes every day.

Those carnivorous, heel-biting, toe-devouring ones, of course.

funkytuba 04-29-2010 01:05 AM

in hell the farts are earsplitting, but deadly

Marcus Bales 04-29-2010 08:32 AM

In hell the office manager doesn't like you, and finds little ways to make your already-damned existence a little more miserable.

Coffee 04-30-2010 12:51 AM

In hell, you are an office manager who, due to EEO, civil rights, and non-harassment laws, is prevented from flogging, demeaning, or torturing the new hire office twit who irritates the fvck outa you, forcing you to find less than satisfying little ways to make his already-damned existence a little more miserable.

Jack Flanders 04-30-2010 01:22 AM

In HELL you get to chose your new car!! And IT'S A TOYOTA!!! (I have owned 2 Toyotas and they were beloved!!)

Jack Flanders 04-30-2010 01:54 AM

In Hell, "the one whom shall not be named will not be there" and then we will dance.

Marcus Bales 04-30-2010 08:41 AM

In hell poets have to read other poets' work at readings, and never their own.


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