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Gay Bob goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Bob, I'm not going to beat around the bush.You have AIDS."
Bob is devastated.
"Doc, what can I do?"
The doctor says "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, 1 head of cabbage, 20 unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grape nuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."
Bob asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"
Doc says, "No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for."
A woman is frustrated with her love life because her husband has a massive crush on Brigitte Bardot. To win back his attentions, she goes to a tattooist to have the letters 'BB' tattooed on her boobs.
The tattooist warns her that age and gravity would probably make this unattractive later in life, and suggests the tattoo on her butt instead. She agrees, and bends over to receive a 'B' on each buttock.
When her husband gets home from work that night, she greets him by turning around, bending over, and lifting her dress to expose the artwork.
"What do you think?" the wife says.
"Uh, who the hell is Bob?" the husband replies.
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