ZEFRANK.COM - message board

ZEFRANK.COM - message board (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/index.php)
-   FAST CHAT (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/forumdisplay.php?f=6)
-   -   Post something that made you laugh today. (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=4329)

dinzdale 08-25-2004 08:01 PM

It just smells like it......

rmr 08-25-2004 08:02 PM

don't try to confuse matters :eek:

the cubicle is not even near the toilet . my boss thinks i'm lazy so he moved it far away so i'm forced to walk

zero 08-25-2004 08:11 PM

that's outrageous

you could damn him for sewages

rmr 08-25-2004 08:15 PM


Smartypants 08-26-2004 03:10 PM

Letter to the Editor in today's SF Chronicle:

Editor -- A San Francisco public-health official wants to restrict the prescription of Viagra because it seems to have a destructive effect on some people. Since Sen. Bob Dole is Viagra's most famous user and chief spokesman, we certainly do know one bad effect the drug has; it saps one's integrity.

Mill Valley

nycwriters 08-26-2004 07:45 PM

There's something inherently funny about "old-school" composing room guys (in their late 60s) discussing the fact that they didn't understand what the song "YMCA" was about when it first came out ... and then one guy piping up "I'll bet they knew in the Village though!"

Then they went on to discuss the Weather Girls song "It's raining men."


rmr 08-27-2004 01:44 PM

"Occasionally a performer comes along who questions the very nature of celebrity, who challenges a nation to reconsider what artistic endeavors it previously thought possible, who deconstructs his or her chosen profession only to reinvent it in an entirely new way.

Charo is undoubtedly not one of these artists, but she sure puts on a damn good show!"

Clytie 08-27-2004 03:01 PM

From Employees to Bosses

1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 5:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.

2. If it's really a "rush job," run in and interrupt me every 10
minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps.

3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.

4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books or supplies, don't open the door for me. I need to learn how to perform miracles routinely and opening doors with my teeth is excellent training.

5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. Let me guess.

6. Do your best to keep me late. I like the office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do.

7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. Leaks like that could cost me a promotion.

8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversation.

9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. If fact, save them until the job is almost done.

10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.

11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life.

12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate.

Willow Sylph 08-27-2004 03:12 PM

I can relate to all of those, Clytie. Unfortunately...

Avalon 08-27-2004 10:17 PM


Audreyvgs 08-27-2004 11:57 PM

I must be bitchin and pissin alot about money. When I take Bink to the grocery store with me, and he's whining about not having his 837th hotwheel, I say, listen. Do you want to eat, or do you want to be hungry and play with a car. It's your choice. We don't go to the grocery store with unlimited money, now pick out something sensible to go in your lunchbox, and that's good enough, isn't it? And he usually backs right down and gets excited about havin baloney for lunch tomarrow. And I think, Whew!

SO. Bink lost a tooth yesterday. Yanked it himself, I didn't even know it was time, but he worked and worried it to death til it came out. I warned him that the tooth fairy didn't pay as well for subsequent teeth as she did for those first ones, besides, the people at the Montessori school where he used to go were still mad at me for givin him $5 for those first coupla teeth, and at this moment, I didn't have any cash anyway. I did scrounge for 6 quarters and found a hotwheels in the box that I'd forgotten to give him from vacation (another story)

I make the switch in the middle of the night ok, and this morning he is thrilled to death, holds out the quarters and says, I GOT 6 BUCKS!!!!!!! Seein its like 6 in the morning, I don't correct him. I let him think it, and he is also so in love with the Hotwheels, that he can't even take it out of the package.

He goes to school. I get a call around 11:30, its the teacher.

"Nicolas has lost another tooth." Im really shocked, I didn't even know he had another one loose! She said I wasn't going to believe what she was about to tell me, and she had had quite the laugh. She continued. "I told him, Nicolas!! Stop playing with that tooth, wait til you go home to yank it!" and he said, "I need to do this cause my mom really needs the grocery money!"

I laughed so hard that I think I broke her ears. She continued on, telling me how wonderful he was, and I was still laughin thru the whole conversation.

SO. I have to drive the Bink up to his OLD SCHOOL to meet one of his friends, he's goanna get to sleep on his friends dad's boat tonight, and tomorrow they're goin out shelling. i was talkin to the kid's mom, and unbeknownst to me, his former teacher comes out, and sees him, snags him and takes him into the office.

I notice he was gone, somebody told me where he was, and in the office, there was the head guy, another teacher, Mrs Thomas, and the Bink. Mrs Thomas had slid down the wall, and her eyes were welled up with tears. Everybody in there was tryin not to laugh, they know how sensitive our Mr. Binkleberg is...I asked what he'd said, and all Mrs Thomas could say was,,,,,"Grocery Money!!!!" All the while stifling a large hoot. All I could do is say, "Ohhhhh NOOO, the teacher called me with that one, I never did have the chance to tell him not to ....." and I dragged him out, so that they could have their laugh. THey all looked bout to explode.

I never did get the chance to have a word with him about that. The kid's dad came and swept him away, and I'm still laughin, trying to steal the grocery money for this new damn tooth. I'm a little worried if I leave him go with this Idea, he's goanna come back from the boat ride tomarrow having worked out all his baby teeth, gettin ready for Thanksgiving.

Avalon 08-28-2004 12:00 AM

The Bink is a good kid. The world needs more Binks!:cool:

Audreyvgs 08-28-2004 12:12 AM

Now that he's got 2 teeth missin, he looks kinda like a Halloween Pumpkin. I'll have to post a new pic. hahahaa he is sweet.

Coffee 08-28-2004 12:19 AM

That is just such a classic story book kid story Audrey.
What a super duper lil guy. I sure hope he has all his remaining teeth when he comes back from shelling.
You need to compile some of these into book form.

"The World According To Bink".

Audreyvgs 08-28-2004 12:30 AM

Aw, anybody gots kids, has these same stories...

Glad you guys like him! :D

zenbabe 08-28-2004 12:33 AM

hahahahhahaha!! I love it!!! :D

Smartypants 08-28-2004 12:50 AM


Originally posted by Audreyvgs
Aw, anybody gots kids, has these same stories...
That's only partly true -- they (and those that know them) have the same TYPE of stories, but each is slightly different and because there's so much extra stuff wrapped up in the individual kids that the stories seem completely unique -- and never fail to entertain. This one is a complete hoot and no doubt will become one of those stories that will be told in your family forever! Thanks for the belly laugh. :D :D

priceyfatprude 08-28-2004 03:20 AM


I love the Binkaboo. I really do.

Give him hugs from me. :D

Aphrodite 08-28-2004 11:02 AM


Originally posted by Coffee

"The World According To Bink".

I was thinking more along the lines of "Bink Bueller's Day Off"

Audreyvgs 08-29-2004 01:34 AM

Just as I'd feared, I went to pick him up at the boat, and he'd gotten rid of a 3rd tooth, now he really DOES look like a punkin. Pic tomarrow. He's gotten pink, too...all day in water and fishin. I didn't think he could! He's so lucky to have that no-burn skin. I, on the other hand am pretty ouchy after being outside for 2 hrs. Oh well, I was vitamin D deficient anyway.

madasacutsnake 08-29-2004 01:39 AM

Fabbo story. One day I will bring the Troll Princess over to play with the Bink.

Audreyvgs 08-29-2004 01:48 AM

Cool! He'll fall in love with her accent, and he really talks strange now, all those teeth mithin.

melissa 08-29-2004 01:56 AM

When I was in the teeth-losing stage of my youth, I loved it. I loved the whole process of wiggling the tooth loose and being able to stick my tongue under it and then feeling the new tooth start to grow into place.

Loved it.

priceyfatprude 08-29-2004 08:30 AM

My friend S & her husband have a one year old son.

S & I & our girlfriends get together for dinner once a month.

I guess this last Wednesday before she left, S's husband held the baby & said to him, "Say goodbye to your mother, son. She's leaving for her Beaver Club meeting."

We are thinking of getting hats & t shirts made for our club.

Audreyvgs 08-29-2004 01:21 PM

trisherina 08-30-2004 04:59 AM


Originally posted by lapietra
A lot of them became rock musicians.

Coffee 08-30-2004 10:56 PM


Originally posted by Audreyvgs

I'm thinking they need a motif with a bit more Georgia O'Keeffian look to it for that club...don't you think? ;)

Hyakujo's Fox 08-31-2004 01:51 AM

"I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed interstate commerce."

-- J. Edgar Hoover

lapietra 08-31-2004 03:09 AM


Originally posted by trisherina
Originally posted by lapietra
A lot of them became rock musicians.


I actually added that at the last minute :p Happy you liked it. :)

melissa 08-31-2004 05:20 AM

****This story is not meant to offend anyone. ****

Today I had an interview very far from my house. I actually had an interview at this location a few weeks ago and it is at least 2 busses to get there. So today I thought I'd try a different bus combination to get there. One very long bus ride that goes from the north part of town past the south part to a suburb area that I'm so unfamilar with on one of the ugliest streets in the Portland metro area. I have to transfer onto a second bus that will take me to my destination, this bus only travels between two transit centers. Most of the busses here are new and air conditioned and are large busses but a few are smaller busses. The bus that I transfered to is one of the smaller varieties, lovingly called the short bus. About half way into this ride I realize that the route that I took the first time was the smarter thing to do. We took several short cuts off the main road, just to return without picking anyone up. At this point there are a few other people on the bus with me, and two of them groaned when the bus pulled off the street into a business driveway. I looked and saw that an entire group of people were planning on getting on this bus...all of them were people with Down's Syndrome. They were getting off of work and ready to go home. Now the bus is FULL. They all have backpacks and lunch coolers and thermoses and are very enthusiastic about the end of their work day (I assume).

As I'm approaching my destination from a different direction I'm paying a lot of attention to the addresses that we are passing because I don't want to miss it. In that moment of concentration, I realized that I really was on The Short Bus.

And I laughed.

Audreyvgs 08-31-2004 10:19 AM


Originally posted by Coffee
I'm thinking they need a motif with a bit more Georgia O'Keeffian look to it for that club...don't you think? ;)
HA! Rock 'n ROSE!

joppa.gal 08-31-2004 05:22 PM

Spicy Jack 08-31-2004 06:27 PM


Coffee 08-31-2004 09:23 PM


Originally posted by Spicy Jack
ohhhhh...i thought it was a slipper.

joppa.gal 08-31-2004 09:31 PM

Yeah, but which end of the bunny is it??

Spicy Jack 08-31-2004 10:01 PM

I *LOVE* those bunnies! They are HUGE...and when you pick them up they weigh nothing and there is an ity bity tiny bunny inside. ADORABLE! I wanted a Jersy Wooley that looks like that but easier to maintain.

Clytie 09-01-2004 01:42 PM

blonde tictactoe

Magpie 09-01-2004 05:32 PM


Originally posted by Spicy Jack
I get disoriented easily.

nycwriters 09-04-2004 02:25 AM

Hahahahaha ... I used to argue with this guy I dated briefly when I first got to NYC about the fact that if I went to have children, I'd let them have free reign of the house and they could basically do no wrong. He said there was no way he was going to let his kids run amok and muddy up his nice couch and various other material possessions. Needless to say we didn't see eye to eye and didn't wind up dating long (no, we didn't break up over that argument, something far more serious).

He was a banker and I was very tempted to send him an email after 9/11 to find out if he was ok. I never did, because things were left very poorly between us when we parted.

Anyhoo. I ran into him online recently and I said I was glad to know that he was safe and that I had thought to get in touch after that day, but didn't think it was appropriate. I was just going to leave it at that. He dialed back through his memory banks and this is the email I got back from him connecting the dots:

In regard to 9/11, made it out OK...God bless George W Bush and the United States of America. I'm still not letting my future kids onto that Sofa with mud on them


Did I mention we used to have quite heated political debates?

zenbabe 09-04-2004 02:53 AM


ps. they have mud in new york?

All times are GMT -3. The time now is 07:00 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.