ZEFRANK.COM - message board

ZEFRANK.COM - message board (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/index.php)
-   FICTION PROJECT (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/forumdisplay.php?f=17)
-   -   The Dictionary Game (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=7884)

Brynn 03-16-2009 12:42 AM

Ah, the coarse salt of sarcasm rubbed into a third degree burn. It's an art, and much to be feared. If that's the sort of thing you aspire to.

I can imagine that someone has so much horrific crap on their own plate that it's hard to remember to peer up and over the edge to see what's on somebody else's - a frightening prognosis, a child's death, a devastating discovery, a flooded basement, dinner burning, hangnails - any number of things that could make judging the Dictionary Game seem not so very important in the scheme of things. Then again, it's entirely possible that if the Game languishes, countless people will suffer in ways that even I can't imagine.

I don't feel very funny today, if I ever did, I don't feel like formatting stuff even though it looks crappy if I don't, and I especially don't feel like judging - so let's cook this puppy and have fun doing it. Oh yeah - the real definition:
quaquaversal - a. dipping in all directions; dome-like...turned every which way.

Ysa Pur -
"quaquaversal adj. – 1. moving towards excrements
Quaquaversal flies may transmit lots of infectious diseases.

2. Language, on the verge of foul, but not quite there yet.
His quaquaversal remarks annoyed me beyond belief, but I couldn’t complain, because they were still too vague."

I like it and it suits my mood - very clever, too, especially in its use of the hard letter "q" (as in ka ka de vaca) This definition stuck to me like a sticky piece of fresh, moist doggie doo for a long time. Wins the Words Have Power/Beautiful Thoughts Award

"quaquaversal adj., of or pertaining to a quaqua, a four-by-four stanza of rhyming verse (four lines of four-letter words, four words per line), hence square, obtuse, or droll.

The controversial Marcus Bales read from his quaquaversal new volume of poetry, fourbyfourbybales:

play golf very well
hair loss can't tell
chug beer ring bell
used cars must sell"

I like it. Logical, humorous and rooted in latin, the mother tongue. It wins the Farmer in the Dell Award and a bound copy of Marcus' fabled controversal quaqua. Which brings us to....

Marcus Bales -
quaquaversal - the phenomenon of a duck's quack having no echo.

Why The Duck's Quack Doesn't Echo

Online pondering art deco suddenly I heard an echo
Like a duck quack by El Greco,
Quacking by my cyber door.
"Curse your thin, elongate quacking, duck or duck-like form attacking
Language like an artist Braque-ing
Whistler's mom with Cubist lore!"

Suddenly there was no sound as if a tree had hit the ground
Without an ear to hear around --
Cyber-silence, nothing more.
Then -- a whisper of a creaking, distant, like a whispered squeaking,
Like an engineer was tweaking --
Tweaking at some software’s core!

Echoless the duck's uncanny quack filled every nook and cranny
Pleading like a Pakistani
Penguined by an Indian whore
Who, offered only half her fees, arouses him with expertise
Then, just before the final squeeze,
She walks away from his rapport.

Erection waving in the breeze he waddles, pants around his knees,
While quacking out a croaking "Please!
I'll pay the fifteen rupees more!"
No sympathetic echo woke in her at hearing what he spoke
For she'd been paid, and had her joke,
And didn't care by what he swore.

“There!” I said with no rehearsal, “Stay! Or else a poet’s curse’ll
Follow you like quaquaversal
Lava on a foreign shore –
Follow you from spot to spot the way a duck’s quack’s echo’s got
Of following the things it’s not
An echo of, forevermore!”

“There!” I said to no one near me, “There!” but there were none to hear me:
All my “There!”s did squat to cheer me,
Squat to lift the weight I bore --
All I know is what I heard and though I know it sounds absurd
I can't, in conscience, change a word
I've said about this here before:

I’ve heard the echo of that quack arrive unechoed coming back
Through cyberspace's wasteless track
As in the ancient tales of yore --
And now I know why engineers have circulated through the years
The base canard that no one hears
A duck's quack’s echo any more.

I like it. It's deft and true. If only housewives in country kitchens everywhere would see fit to print this poem out and hang it under their wooden painted cut-outs of ducks in bonnets and aprons, even if they insist upon adorning it with their ugly sprays of artificial pink and blue forget-me-nots. People would assume it to be, at first glance, a heart-warming rhyme about hearth and home, but would quickly find not just an astonishing parody on Poe's "The Raven," but a brilliant treatise on the emptiness and futility of existence, cyberspace, and the risks of paying for sex without the security of government sanction and regulation. This tour-de-force also wins the Words Have Power/Beautiful Thoughts Award and replaces Ysa Pur's first-place standing.

Stephi B -

travelling the channel of mindless babbling (quaqua)

Never underestimate quaquaversal wisdom!

I like it. It cheers me up, too. It wins the Thousands of Monkeys Typing On Thousands of Typewriters for Thousands of Years Award and whoops, look how her resolute cheerfulness trumps Marcus for first place.

"quaquaversal: The opposite of quid pro quo.

Her sense of entitlement meant inevitable quaquaversal if I agreed to pick up her on-call so she could spend a romantic weekend with her squid-like boyfriend in the mountains.

I like it. It too is deft and clever and true. Depressing, for it reminds me of myself in earlier years, thoughtlessly prevailing upon the good will of generous capable women with no idea of the scope of my own selfishness and blindness. Even more, it reminds me of my lovely but quaquaversal teenage daughter who, true to The Universal Mother's Curse, is just like I was. This wins the Words Have Power/Beautiful Thoughts Award , plunges me straight back into my own problems, and much as I hate to reward that sort of thing - well, I won't. Stephi's still in first place, sorry, although I wavered.

And now in keeping with my current dank mood, we'll jump to the following - not much fancy formatting because I can't be arsed:

Marcus Bales quaquaversal - in cartooning, the sudden change of fortunes among the characters, always accompanied on the soundtrack by a pair of muted/unmuted notes on the slide trombone.

Hyakujo's Fox quaquaversal v. (linguistics) to stammer out the start of one word four times before suddenly switching to an alternative.

"By Golly, this may seem awfully blunt of me, but I'd really love to f-f-f-f-call you sometime this week!" Reginald confessed to Ophelia, executing a stunning quaquaversal, much to the relief of the other dinner guests.
03-07-2009 09:05 AM

Marcus Bales
quaquaversal - (comedy slang) to be four times as funny as someone else; to top someone else's line with one four times better

"Ooohhh!" murmured the crowd at Marcus's offering, and then "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!" they shouted at Hyakujo's Fox's quaquaversal.
03-10-2009 03:19 AM

I don't like it. The Zatoichi Rule notwithstanding, this stupid chesting wins the Stupid Chesting Award which the two of you are going to have to share. Not only that, but HFox only gets a third of it for sitting next to Marcus and then not mindlessly replying to Marcus, which then gives him dubious bragging rights for I don't know, The Paris in The The Spring Tiny Tropical Trophy of Provocative Trophiness Trophy. Yeah, that's not bad. I can't believe you broke what I mistakenly believed to be our unspoken truce though.

Marcus Bales-
quaquaversal - The sort of nasty ad hominem poetry that gets written about judges of The Dictionary Game who don't hurry up and get on with it.

(Stares politely in the distance and thinks about the civilizing influence of Emily Post on 20th century social evolution)

quaquaversal the synchronous, effortless change of sides by lovers spooning.

I don't just like it. I think it's lovely. xfox wins the Ultimate Words Have Power/Beautiful Thoughts Award. Stephi B is the coveted Second Place Runner-up, but xfox wins the round for reasons that should be obvious to all.

xfox 03-16-2009 10:22 PM

Brynn, I am truly honored by your ever sagacious judgment and hope you are okay with the apocalyptic event, whatever it was, and somehow it will be resolved.

The new word is:


Marcus Bales 03-17-2009 12:03 AM

kilderkin - Mont Kilderkin, highest hill within 50 miles of Paris, France, most notable for the refrain of a Villon ballade "Des dames de temps jadis": Mais ou sont les neiges Kilderkin?

My ancient French is not too good, but it looks as if the first stanza might translate something like this:

Where have the skills of reading gone
That cannot see the tongue in cheek
That post by post from dusk to dawn
Has made us here a joyful clique
Where laughter leaves us all too weak
To take offense or spit out spite
Any more than Kilderkin's peak
Can hold its snow through summer's light.

YsaPur EsChomuw 03-17-2009 01:53 AM

kilderkin - an often short but cute assassin with a strong Scottish accent, who specializes in murdering relatives for inheritance, revenge or pleasure.

treekisser 03-17-2009 12:46 PM

kilderkin n. a random mixture of lint, thread, dust, bits of paper, and organic matter that collects at the bottoms of pockets, handbags, and drawers. Once valued highly by indigenous peoples who cultivated, harvested, and formed it into yarns and fibers for woven ritual blankets, sweaters, and sacred vestments, this material has been largely ignored up until now in industrialized societies.

The economic stimulus package included research funds for exploring the feasibility of kilderkin-powered cars.

Brynn 03-19-2009 01:39 PM


Originally Posted by xfox (Post 408151)
hope you are okay with the apocalyptic event, whatever it was, and somehow it will be resolved.

thank you, my love :o
And just for the record, like many of the ladies here, I have a powerful but harmless virtual cybercrush on Hfox. There, I said it out loud.

xfox 03-19-2009 10:22 PM

You are too good, Brynn!

Stephi_B 03-20-2009 11:02 AM

kilderkin n (pl)

certain things people leave behind in not exactly the right places in public places, very often in the gaps between seats of public transport vehicles or in waiting rooms: crumpled, no-longer current newspapers, single gloves who already had lost their partner when left behind (willfully then), empty, cheap lighters and biros, no-deposit bottles, bubble gum and sandwich wrapping and other waste products of food and drink, broken umbrellas, used tissues, hair or skin-oil prints on smooth surfaces and such and much more

has to be strongly distinguished from milderkin which would include things like read, but current, quite accurately folded newspapers or magazines, deposit bottles one has no time or chance to bring back by oneself or a cigarette's worth of dry but still smokeable tobacco and noderkin like mobile phones, keys, earrings, ....

dddrum 03-20-2009 01:02 PM

kilderkin - n. (Scottish dress)

a whimsically ribald decoration, fashioned from foam rubber and faux fur as a caricature of a hairy nut sac, which is attached to, and hangs just below the back of, the sporran of one's tartan regalia. American rednecks recently adopted the device for the adornment of their trailer hitches.

Marcus Bales 03-20-2009 03:19 PM

kilderkin - A powerful but harmless virtual cybercrush.

"This is getting expensive," SofaSpud thought, as he took the new keyboard out of its box. "I've got to stop bashing things up when yet another girl online turns out to have a merely kilderkin response!"

dddrum 03-24-2009 09:16 AM

kilderkin - n.

a tumbleweed. Just rolling and rolling, propelled by a hot desert snollygoster. Meandering on down the empty street of an empty town in Emptyland. One note, from a single violin, shivers uncertainly in the background, shimmering and quavering on, and on, for days, as the kilderkin just rolls and rolls and rolls and...

xfox 03-24-2009 11:32 PM

Right. Now I'm about to hit the trail for about 5 days. So is this all we have, or do we need more time kvetch?

Hyakujo's Fox 03-25-2009 12:15 AM

kilderkin (n) The mythical little people of the Scottish Highlands, responsible for putting holes in socks and sudden breezes up kilts. Rarely seen, they sometimes give away their presence via a used fish 'n' chip wrapper carried down by a gust from the hills indicating a change in the weather.

Brynn 03-25-2009 04:09 PM

I'm shocked that no one is going out for the So Obvious It Could Hurt You Award:

kilderkin, as everyone knows, is the classic answer to the classic question,
"Why is she in jail?

Marcus Bales 03-28-2009 10:16 AM


Originally Posted by Brynn (Post 408619)
kilderkin, as everyone knows, is the classic answer to the classic question,
"Why is she in jail?

Well, of course she did -- she was drunk!

All times are GMT -3. The time now is 06:12 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.