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-   -   ¿ question of the day ? (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=12191)

MoJoRiSin 01-29-2009 09:57 AM

MAYBE









the mona lisa

Stephi_B 01-29-2009 10:23 AM

.FALSE.
.FALSE. unless when talking to specific people (granny, my two best friends) particularly when I haven't for a while
.FALSE. unless see above
.TRUE.
.FALSE.
.FALSE.
.FALSE.

trisherina 01-29-2009 10:56 AM

1. false
2. false
3. very true. I pass the time ordering things in my head and paying just enough attention to get the gist while the other guy's blathering on.
4. very true. Anyone who complains about detail orientation probably doesn't read DFW, either. So?
5. false. I have "back routes" that I take at work when I want to avoid being buttonholed for conversation every five steps.
6. false. The people who know me best have never called me that, but perhaps if they knew me better, they would.
7. false. Failing to attend to this skill set = the end of my livelihood.

YsaPur EsChomuw 01-29-2009 11:39 AM

1. You think of yourself as a talker rather than a listener.
neither

2. In conversation, your utterances frequently exceed one minute in length. (This is the most important indicator that you talk too much.)
hardly ever

3. You are able to come up with many ideas on the fly, so you want to express them all in one fell swoop.
occasionally

4. You’re detail-oriented. People who are detail-oriented often include details that seem important to them but bore the pants off the typical listener.
no

5. People at their workspaces tend to look away from you when you walk by. (They’re afraid you’ll come over and bend their ear for 10 minutes.)
no

6. The people who know you best have called you self-absorbed, narcissistic, oblivious, selfish, or egocentric.
Nobody has ever called me that. Although I think it's true.
A conversation is about sharing and paying attention to your conversation partner’s needs.
What a load of bullsh*t. Conversation is sharing ideas, not about the partner's needs.

7. You don’t stay alert for a sign that your listener wishes you’d shut up: eyes wandering more than 1/3 of the time (or the opposite, staring frozen at you), finger or toe tapping, frequently interrupting you, a body position that suggests the person is trying to get away from you, frequently saying “uh-huh” as if urging you to get on with it. Yes, some listeners are impatient by nature, but if you observe such reactions from more than one-fourth of the people you converse with, the problem is more likely you.
Normally I do very little talking. I only listen when I find it's worth the effort.

Coffee 01-29-2009 12:29 PM

no

PinkLincoln 01-29-2009 02:13 PM

Sometimes. I always try to pay attention to body language though. If I see someone zoning out, I'll change the topic.

Jack Flanders 01-30-2009 02:55 AM

  1. F
  2. F
  3. Truish -clients
  4. T
  5. F - I work alone and mostly outdoors!
  6. F - no they are
  7. F - except for a client in Princeton who wanted pretty green "bushes" that never grew but bloomed red and white all summer

Hyakujo's Fox 01-30-2009 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zero (Post 405626)
QOTD


Do You Talk Too Much?
by Marty Nemko

Blah-blah, blah-blah, blah-blah, blah.

Ever listen to someone who, long after you’ve spaced out, continued to blab on? What did you think of that person? Probably self-absorbed and interpersonally clueless. Being long-winded is a sure route to career failure, indeed life failure.

Of course, no one thinks they’re perceived as talking too much, otherwise they wouldn’t do it. But without realizing it, could you be one of those irritating people?

True Or False:

1. You think of yourself as a talker rather than a listener.

2. In conversation, your utterances frequently exceed one minute in length. (This is the most important indicator that you talk too much.)

3. You are able to come up with many ideas on the fly, so you want to express them all in one fell swoop.

4. You’re detail-oriented. People who are detail-oriented often include details that seem important to them but bore the pants off the typical listener.

5. People at their workspaces tend to look away from you when you walk by. (They’re afraid you’ll come over and bend their ear for 10 minutes.)

6. The people who know you best have called you self-absorbed, narcissistic, oblivious, selfish, or egocentric. A conversation is about sharing and paying attention to your conversation partner’s needs.

7. You don’t stay alert for a sign that your listener wishes you’d shut up: eyes wandering more than 1/3 of the time (or the opposite, staring frozen at you), finger or toe tapping, frequently interrupting you, a body position that suggests the person is trying to get away from you, frequently saying “uh-huh” as if urging you to get on with it. Yes, some listeners are impatient by nature, but if you observe such reactions from more than one-fourth of the people you converse with, the problem is more likely you.

The more times you answered “true” to those six questions, the more you need to follow The Traffic Light rule of thumb: During the first 30 seconds of an utterance, your light is green: your listener is probably paying attention. During the second 30 seconds, your light is yellow—your listener may be starting to wish you’d finish. After the one-minute mark, your light is red: Yes, there are rare times you should “run a red light:” when your listener is obviously fully engaged in your missive. But usually, when an utterance exceeds one minute, with each passing second, you increase the risk of boring your listener and having them think of you as a chatterbox, windbag, or blowhard.

How do you ensure you’re seen as interesting not annoying? Try these:

1. As you’re talking, keep asking yourself, “Does this detail risk boring my listener, risk your being thought of as the King or Queen of Hot Air?

2. Unless you’re saying something you know deserves more than a minute, at the 30-second mark, look for a place to stop. If your listener wants more, he or she can ask a question. She rarely will. Try it and see.

What if you’re saying something that requires more than a minute? Break it up into segments, and after each segment, ask something like, “What do you think of that?” or “Am I being clear? Really?” The “really” is important because it lets the listener know that your request is not gratuitous: you really want that question or comment

3. Be alert to your listener’s non-verbal cues, especially as your utterance passes the 30-second mark. Does your listener seem fully engaged?

Remember, anyone who cares about other people must make them part of a conversation. And if you tend to be selfish, know that you’ll get more of what you want if you trade in your talk-talk-talk self for someone who truly listens as much as he or she talks.
Lest I be accused of not practicing what I preach, I’m going to stop this column right here. Anyone wish I prattled on?

DO YOU TALK TOO MUCH?


SUHT UP!

lukkucairi 01-31-2009 02:16 AM

nah, but I bore the pants off people describing my disturbing dreams.

everyone's got faults, man - lay off :mad:

Large Marge 01-31-2009 02:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zero (Post 405626)
QOTD


Zero? It is feraknig aewosme that you have kept this picture alive all this time.

Large Marge 01-31-2009 03:03 AM

Hey, what happened to Priceyfatprude?

topcat 01-31-2009 02:05 PM

she is living in your back yard

MoJoRiSin 01-31-2009 02:13 PM

:p ^ what, exactly is that supposed to mean?

Coffee 01-31-2009 02:19 PM

If we told u we'd have to kill you before she killed us.

MoJoRiSin 01-31-2009 02:21 PM

don't kill me

MoJoRiSin 01-31-2009 02:22 PM

think of a new question
(at least)

Coffee 01-31-2009 02:28 PM

Psstt...no, Mo...sigh...the "coffee post" above was my answer to the ? of the day posed by LargeMarge: "Hey, what happened to Priceyfatprude?"

Quote:

"think of a new question
(at least)"
Please answer the original ? of the day rather than posing new questions for each answer which only results in confusion...most usualy on your part...sigh.

MoJoRiSin 01-31-2009 02:37 PM

as per usual, mo screwed everything up
please forgive me
no more inter-thread
interaction
of any kind
promise :cool:

zero 01-31-2009 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mo
:p what, exactly is that supposed to mean?




it means...



..."noodles, though you've been hiding in the asshole of the world, we found you.
we know where you are."



it means...



..."get ready."

Brynn 01-31-2009 08:52 PM

ahem...I have no idea what happened to pfp


sorry to stray back to the shut up man question, and these aren't meant to be new questions of the day, but...

do you consider posts that go on too long (that anyone can skip - it's not like they have a gun to the head) to be the same thing as cornering someone in a boring conversation face to face?

I find myself listening to people more than I actually talk. That could be why I write so much - I can hardly get a word in edgewise, normally.

But are we really to limit ourselves to thirty-second sound bites? Or, in the case of posts, two lines of words, maximum? To me, that gets really old, fast.

lukkucairi 02-01-2009 12:08 PM

Peef is now an advisor for internet bulletin board relations for the Obama administration.

Frieda 02-02-2009 07:32 AM

peef became happy a while ago and therefore lost the addiction-driven wish to post.

well, i really hope she's happy you know. she deserves it :)

lukkucairi 02-02-2009 10:49 AM

QOTD begged now:

¿ do we only post here when we are unhappy and addiction-driven ?

zero 02-02-2009 12:05 PM

:mad: just leave me alone okay i can quit anytime

Stephi_B 02-02-2009 12:11 PM

No, but maybe one posts more if one has extreme feelings (good or bad), or is bored / has time to, or has procrastinitis, or just feels post-ative like ;)

Though I'd say that depends on the type of person you are, and on the situation. I usually post less when unhappy, for then in real life I also talk less and mingle less with people. But that doesn't mean I'm automatically unhappy when I'm not posting -- or the other way round.

Stephi_B 02-02-2009 12:13 PM

^^Nooo. You caaan't. :p

Plus that'd make me cry.... :(

zero 02-02-2009 12:26 PM

okay then i'll stay

Stephi_B 02-02-2009 12:35 PM

^me = happy

:)

brightpearl 02-02-2009 03:04 PM

I post more when I'm unhappy, definitely, but that's at least partly related to the correlation between unhappiness and boredom for me.

brightpearl 02-02-2009 03:18 PM

You know what? I also post here when I'm under serious duress and don't want to worry my friends and parents about it. I think I often come here when I feel the worst.

Sorry. :rolleyes:

And thank you for involuntarily providing an outlet for me that I sometimes really need. :)

lukkucairi 02-02-2009 10:50 PM

posting here has definitely helped me work through some weird shit in my head :p

lately I post here because I like you guys and I like this board and I want there to be neat stuff here. I feel like I'm not always the best at fishing great compelling content from the vast oceanic interwebs, but I do try.

Anna 02-02-2009 11:47 PM

no

Odbe 02-03-2009 02:08 AM

I don't think what I post here is a balanced sample of what I'm thinking. I reckon it's skewed somehow, not sure which way. Probably towards happy and sentimental.

Brynn 02-03-2009 08:13 PM

It only hurts when I post.

Anna 02-03-2009 08:28 PM

^

Brynn 02-03-2009 08:42 PM

:)

12"razormix 02-04-2009 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lukkucairi (Post 405883)
¿ do we only post here when we are unhappy and addiction-driven ?

SATAN THE GOAT makes me do it

Brynn 02-06-2009 11:50 PM

New QOTD for Feb. 6th, 2009

When replacing the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom, do you put the top sheet under or over, and why?

Odbe 02-07-2009 12:24 AM

I just stick it on there and it ends up whichever way it goes.

Jack Flanders 02-07-2009 01:00 AM

deja vu again - but I'm an over the top and will correct the home I'm visiting to bring them back into the fold. because I can.


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