I'm naked as the day I was born
I burned all the garb I had worn

I'm naked as the day I was born
I burned all the garb I had worn
Now I wait for the breeze

I'm naked as the day I was born
I burned all the garb I had worn
Now I wait for the breeze
To spread my disease

I'm naked as the day I was born
I burned all the garb I had worn
Now I wait for the breeze
To spread my disease
Of Nudism, a love of one's form!

I lay there on the beach just sunning

I lay there on the beach just sunning
till a stiff breeze sent me out gunning

I lay there on the beach just sunning
till a stiff breeze sent me out gunning
I reached for my towel,
Finding sand, I cried foul,
Sent the passers-by screaming and running.

As I pondered my bacon and eggs

As I pondered my bacon and eggs
There was a tingle on both of my legs

As I pondered my bacon and eggs
There was a tingle on both of my legs
I reached for the cat

As I pondered my bacon and eggs
There was a tingle on both of my legs
I reached for the cat
But fondled - a rat!

As I pondered my bacon and eggs
There was a tingle on both of my legs
I reached for the cat
But fondled - a rat!
Who cheerfully sits up and begs.

I bumped into a very odd bloke

I bumped into a very odd bloke
My umbrella'd unpleasantly poked

I bumped into a very odd bloke
My umbrella'd unpleasantly poked
He gave me a smile