They say if you do it too much
There's desensitization to touch

They say if you do it too much
There's desensitization to touch
You'll flog and you'll flail
But, alas, you will fail

They say if you do it too much
There's desensitization to touch
You'll flog and you'll flail
But, alas, you will fail
To arrive -- once you've burned out your clutch.

(Ouch. Put some salve on that.)


Perhaps there's an unguent or lotion

Perhaps there's an unguent or lotion
From shellfish caught deep in the ocean

Perhaps there's an unguent or lotion
From shellfish caught deep in the ocean
that'll restore the hair
'pon a scalp that is bare

Perhaps there's an unguent or lotion
From shellfish caught deep in the ocean
that'll restore the hair
on a scalp that is bare --
And perhaps there's a price for that potion.

A bald man has sex-drive to spare

A bald man has sex-drive to spare
but women just don't seem to care.

A bald man has sex-drive to spare
but women just don't seem to care.
they'd much rather do
the hirsute chap who
wastes hormones by growing his hair.

There once was a fellow called Robin

There once was a fellow called Robin
Who was known for his bob bob bob bobbin'

There once was a fellow called Robin
Who was known for his bob bob bob bobbin'
And when Bob would object

There once was a fellow called Robin
Who was known for his bob bob bob bobbin'
And when Bob would object
Then Robin sang Brecht
Or Sondheim, and left poor Bob sobbin'.

She watched him watch her watching him