Hey, sometimes you can put it underneath your eyes to make circles go away.

Although I don't think it would be prescribed.

I've never tried it. I'd be afraid it would smell funny.

Stevie came over the other day and had this one

Theres this magician on a cruise ship, and he's doin his act one night, and the captain comes to the show with his pet parrot on his shoulder.
All thru the show, the parrot heckles the magician, sayin, "it's in his palm! It's under the shell on the left!" Givin all his secrets away. The magician doesnt say anything, cause he doesn't want to offend the captain.

So during the night, the ship sinks. The magician wakes up, he's layin on a plank floating with absolutely nothing around him, the boat's gone, there's nobody around, except that the parrot is sitting on his stomach.

Three days go by, and the magician and the parrot say nothing to each other. Then on the fourth day, the parrot breaks down, and says,



"Ok, I give up. Where's the boat?"

From my Federal Indian Law professor, a PhD in American History as well as a J.D. (the same guy who I quoted from my earlier Constitutional Law class):

On Indian government classification:
"Think about museums - if you want to go to a museum and see about Indians, you don’t go to the American history section! You go to the natural history section! It’s like Indians are CRITTERS! Lumped together with the fish and birds and shit!"

After his trip to Geneva last week (09/2004) for the convention on the International Draft Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous People:
"Well, guys, I’m kinda in “mellow mode” today. Turns out international affairs is all about drinking..."

I've heard amazing things about this stuff. They sell it everywhere around here:

Butt Paste

Well this made me laugh last night ... I wish you could see the plate numbers clearer -- but no word of a lie ... it reads:

BJ 0000

I chuckled.

(That's Bubba Clinton by the way).

There is a big car crash and a blond is found by the roadside.
A man rushes over to her and asks if she's alright.
"It's all abit of a blur and my head hurts", she says, shaking her head.
"Well tell me how many fingers I've got up?" says the man.
"Oh No ! " she wails "dont tell me I'm paralysed from the waist down!!"

A Cuban man has just been struck by lightning for the
fifth time in 22 years. Jorge Marquez says he is cursed
and that lightning follows him, reports Terra Noticias
Populares. Mr Marquez, who works as a farm worker
in San Manuel, was first struck in June 1982. He told:
"I feel like something very cold enters my body or as
if I'm a hot iron being immersed in cold water." He said
that in the first time he was struck he had his hair burnt
and his fillings all flew out from his teeth. But the most
recent time he managed to minimise the damage by
grabbing a piece of rubber to protect him as soon as
it started to rain. He said: "I don't trust my luck anymore.
As soon as it starts to rain I look for some isolating
material. I don't want to go through it a sixth time!"

Shaun of the Dead

freakin' funny

lahahah -- photo shop
 

heh heh heh heh....

My ex boyfriend

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ... it's how his students have rated him.

Oh my, this made my day.

Yep. That rocks. :)

lol.
if i were this prof id break down and cry after reading some of these.
______________




Who said individuals in a coma are unware of their environment? I was painfully cognizant of every endless second of her class, but no one heard my screams. If you were able to find this Web site, you'll pass with flying colours.

2/16/03 5 1 2 Didn't go to class and got a 90, its an easy one!

1/28/03 cosc1701 5 1 1 so great she can't teach an easy course? hmmm


1/16/03 cosc1700 5 1 1 she can't teach!!! take the course with someone else

1/15/03 cosc1701 5 1 1 in love with her mouse

11/6/02 compsci 4 1 2 TWO WORDS.. BOR ING!

11/4/02 COMM1700 5 2 1

10/1/02 COSC2007 5 1 1 Didn't learn a thing and got a 90. If you fail this course bow ur head in shame!