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-   -   Post something that made you laugh today. (http://www.zefrank.com/bulletin_new/showthread.php?t=4329)

Jack Flanders 07-06-2006 12:10 AM

^^^ Question - are the tires on the roof to keep the shingles on or what? Funny list, though. I've been to NM a few times and loved it but can relate to some of the quirks. In New Jersey, an amber/red traffic light means hit the gas pedal.

smellyrayzin 07-06-2006 01:24 AM

^^^ so many of those are shared with the "you know you're from arizona when.." list! :p

Jack Flanders 07-06-2006 01:30 AM

Having been to Texas, some of the list could apply to that state, also. And I ran into a scorpion in my aunt's bathroom who lives outside of Atlanta.

smellyrayzin 07-06-2006 06:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jack Flanders
I ran into a scorpion in my aunt's bathroom who lives outside of Atlanta.

scorpions in the house are a daily occurrence here. always check your shoes/sheets/clothes/pillows/whatever !!
have you ever put them in the microwave? they explode.

craig johnston 07-06-2006 12:41 PM

and who gets to clean out the microwave?
:eek:

smellyrayzin 07-06-2006 06:19 PM

the person who put them in ...
so that'd be my dad. :rolleyes:

Jack Flanders 07-06-2006 09:47 PM

He deserves that chore!!

Jaime 07-08-2006 01:58 AM



This probably shouldn't make me laugh :o

Penut 07-10-2006 06:08 AM

Dont say that Jamie!!! Its normal to laugh at dieing snowmen!! Didnt u piss ureself at that movie??

Penut 07-10-2006 09:08 AM

Oh and a few other things that made me laugh today. My avatar, Link: http://www.skunk.co.uk/entertainment/images/default.asp
Also that yoda dog had me cacking my self! Cheers Ambo :D
Oh and Zidane getting sent off! Classic!

12"razormix 07-10-2006 11:32 AM

.





.

Jaime 07-10-2006 02:13 PM

I know this has probably been around for a while, but the simple fact that this cat is real always makes me laugh.



Edit: Okay, this should actually work now.

Edit 2: Bloody hell! Just go here :P

http://www.snopes.com/photos/animals/bigcat2.asp

ambo 07-12-2006 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jaime
I know this has probably been around for a while, but the simple fact that this cat is real always makes me laugh.

Nope, don't think so!

ambo 07-12-2006 01:39 PM

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director what the
criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be
institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, and then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty
the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the
bucket because itís bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you
want a bed near the window?"

zenbabe 07-12-2006 04:23 PM

This made me laugh yesterday, but it is still hysterical.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtZDK5trBbY



This guy has the greatest laugh ever!!!!:D

Max Headroom 07-12-2006 09:43 PM

Thats friggin great man

noxxville 07-12-2006 11:18 PM

Read this today. One word for the researchers on this one: "DUH"

zenbabe 07-13-2006 12:46 PM

hahaha, I read that yesterday. I want to be part of that study!!

Avalon 07-13-2006 02:19 PM

This is why kids should not be left unattended LOL



rmr 07-14-2006 10:46 AM

chevy chase quote:

"My youngest, who's 17, seems to be identical to the way I was in my perception of the world," he told Details. "I mean, I can remember the first time I called her a whore. We just laughed for half an hour. Because she's anything but. But she gets it immediately and laughs. I'd call her every day down at school; she might pick up and say, 'Whoretown!' She said something the other day like, 'Dad, how much should I charge?'"

smellyrayzin 07-14-2006 06:54 PM


jasmina 07-14-2006 07:01 PM

^ ^ 'shopped!

Avalon 07-15-2006 12:56 PM

Brought to you but the makers of Prozac....................This is funny in a sad, Tom Cruise kinda way..


ShopaholicChick 07-15-2006 01:28 PM


http://www.cafepress.com/shopaholicchick/1079895

trisherina 07-16-2006 02:28 AM


Audreyvgs 07-17-2006 05:28 PM



Bink and I went to see where they do the Today Show today, and Matt Lauer jumps in this Lamborghini, and starts it up, and hits the wipers by
accident. Reminded me that scene in Risky Business where they go to take
the dads Porsche and kill it in the garage, then restart. A Lamborghini wouldnt do that to you, neither would a Ferrari. The only thing you can do
to embarass yourself in that car is to accidently hit the wipers.

ambo 07-18-2006 01:36 PM

GEORGE CARLIN'S NEW RULES 2006

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: "lucky bastards."

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's flavored water.

New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his butt will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," .............. ooh, you're a huge hole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Dear lady, just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's located right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
oh man, do I agree with this one

trisherina 07-18-2006 01:53 PM

Thanks for posting that, Ambo!

craig johnston 07-18-2006 02:31 PM

a group of aussie tourists complaining about the heat on the u-bahn.
ho ho!

:)

daverbee 07-18-2006 03:12 PM


ambo 07-18-2006 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trisherina
Thanks for posting that, Ambo!

I just LOVE George. Seeing him perform is exhausting!

smellyrayzin 07-19-2006 01:25 AM

Oh House... how i love you.
 

smellyrayzin 07-19-2006 01:33 AM

hahaha one more:

"maybe i'm too stoned to tell"

topcat 07-21-2006 01:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ambo
GEORGE CARLIN'S NEW RULES 2006

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: "lucky bastards."

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's flavored water.

New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his butt will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," .............. ooh, you're a huge hole.

New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.

New Rule: Dear lady, just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's located right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
oh man, do I agree with this one

funny shit but it is not george carlin. it is bill maher

JesusTitties 07-21-2006 11:23 AM


Frieda 07-21-2006 01:35 PM


auntie aubrey 07-21-2006 01:52 PM


JesusTitties 07-21-2006 02:03 PM

lol

ambo 07-24-2006 03:00 PM


Jack Flanders 07-24-2006 03:31 PM

^^^HAHA!!


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